HELP with my poem free points?

Question

I was trying something new............is it any good

i got a heart

a heart i got

that's red with blood

its red with blood

you touch my heart

my heart was touch

with just one word

one word called love

i need a moment

a moment to breath

i found my love

my love is found

i smile for you

i smile with you

my love is true

now what to do

Answer 1

i really enjoyed this poem, i myself write some poems and i love the flowing style of it. all though i must agree with the last answer     you should use a different word other than "got" like "i have a heart

a heart i have"

great poem though!

Answer 2

it's eat. i think maybe some of the sections are a little bit choppy, like " i GOT a heart" "a heart i GOT" also, the second chunk. I' going to edit/revise it but it's only a sugestion.

I have a heart

a heart i have

that's red with blood

with blood it's red

you've touched my heart

my heart was touched

with just one word

one word called love

i need a moment

a moment to breathe

i found my love

my love is found

i smile for you

for you i smile (variation: "you smile for me")

my love is true    (see below variation...)

and only for you  (variation: I've got love fever,

                                               I've got love flu

                                               My lve is true

                                               and only to you )

Hope you have success in the future with your poetic abilities!

A site that could help you a lot in the future is

http://rhymezone.com/

Good Luck!

Answer 3

I like the style.

I think it is pretty good.

Maybe you could start out with a different word for "got"

it changes the mood.

Answer 4

You should use "have" instead of "got".   It should also say my heart was touched.  The poem is okay though.  It's different.

Answer 5

I am so sorry but I didn't find it interesting. Sometimes being original with creativity doesn't work until you work with it more. You have a good start but a long way from the finish line. Keep up the good work.

Answer 6

Okay.

This Is Horrible.

Like, Just Horrible.

You Repeated Everything.

And The Overall Idea Has Been Done A Billion Times So, It Was Rather Boring.

The Wording Was Simple.

It Was Just Bad.

I COuld Just Write

i got a cat

a cat i got

the cat meows

meows does this cat

this cat is grey

grey is this cat

Like, That's What Yours Was Basically.