HELPPPPPP! MY PARENTS...?

Question

My parents are soo controlling, like I hate them. Ok I got a job and I'm now making my own money and it seems like now that I'm making my own money I can spend it on things I want. Ha so wrong my parents are even more controlling like they won't even let me spend my own spend money, like I got a job and I'm now making money so it's safe to assume that I would want to spend it. And it's not like I'm blowing my checks, I set up a checkings account at Washington Mutual and I'm actually saving all my money. I've only spent it on food for work breaks and a purse (which they got mad at me for buying, they said it was too much, it was only $50).

So today, I told my mom if she was working on Saturday so she could take me school shopping so I could buy school clothes. She asked me where I want to go and I said Forever 21, I've never been there but I visited their website and the prices are reasonable and the stuff is cute. And we always go to this place called DD's Discounts for school shopping and the stuff isn't ugly it's just I want to expand places where I go shopping and the stuff there isn't really my style and fashionable.

Anyway, I told me mom I want to go to this store called Forever 21 and she's like no. I don't want you to spend more than $90. It makes me mad, like first off it's my money I'm spending and I was just going to spend between $200 and $300 dollars for a NEW school wardrobe, I don't think that's too much or unreasonable.

AAARRGGGHH!! It just makes me angry I feel like I'm in a bubble and I can't get out, i'm not happy here, like they control everything in my life even my own money now, I can't even spend it how I would like to. I just want them to back off and leave me alone. I've never even been to like the movies (which is funny cause I work at a movie theater) or shopping with my friends at the mall.

How do I get my parents to just let me spend my money the way I want to? I'm not wasting my money, blowing my paycheck or buying anything illegal. I just want cute clothes for school, is that a crime?

Answer 1

Hello K$tar!

Well, sometimes it's hard to understand the parents. Probably everyone has or had to deal with this kind of thing. One thing for sure, they only want the best for you. Maybe when they were kids they couldn't afford things like that and they had to save money to make a living for themselves and later on for you. Probably they just try to teach you in their on way that the thing of where you get your clothes is not important in real life, however dealing with being a teenager is much different now than it was back then. I think they try to save you from everything, I assume that's why they don't let you go to the movies and may think you're friends can be bad influence. Every parent has that fear on some level.

I have a friend of mine who had to go through this things, she was very angry and her constant trying to prove her parents that she's mature and responsible enough did not turn out too well.

As for sure at the age of 16 you're parents are in charge but also you are mature enough to make your own individual steps (being with your friends, have a good time out - yeah, it mostly costs a little).

I don't know how easy or hard it is to talk to them but don't be in a tantrum (that's not too mature), try being reasonable; you earned the money but you definitely wouldn't like to blow it but you like your friends and every once in a while you'd like to go out with them, spending your money (which I must say is pretty creditable, my friends and me didn't have a job at your age, we spent our parents money). Don't cut them out or shout at them, try to make compromises. You worked for the money to spend it, it seems to be time to work on your relationship to make them trust you not getting in any trouble. It won't be easy, you have to be patient and probably things will happen unreasonably though you are trying hard... That's just life... My friend's mom was so under the control of her parents when she was a kid that led her do the same things to my friend. But you are already sixteen, I know a few years seems a lifetime but hopefully things will turn out to be good. Don't fight with them but be categorical and confident. Good luck! Try to calm down and make them listen to you, you're not that much of a child now.

Answer 2

Well, I have two teenage sister who just got jobs for the first time and the first thing they wanted to do with their first check was to go shopping.  I am a huge shopping fan so I can understand your frustration.  Maybe if you approach your parents calmly and mature, so that they will listen, and explain to them your side of things, you may be able to come to a compromise.  That is really the name of the game compromise.  They are not going to let you do whatever you want, but eventually you are going to have to do things on your own so they need to see that you are responsible and reliable, which are already.  Tell your mom you will limit your spending to a set amount and stick to it.  You may end up with less from the fashion stores, but they will be more in style.  Parents only want what' best for their kids, really.

Answer 3

I think you should try and see your parents' perspective for one second. Maybe they just want to help you although it may not seem like it, but think about it, they want you to learn how to take care of your money because if you develop bad habits in the beginning, you will only continue to make mistakes until someday you go bankrupt and wonder why. They just want to teach you how to manage your financial from an early age so you don't go broke and end up blowing all your money in things that you really don't need. If I still have not lost you, maybe your parents want to teach you to save a certain amount so if you are to lose your job, you can have something to fall back on while you find another job. You should really listen to you parents and work something out. Ask them why they are doing what they are doing, and listen, then tell you what you want. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

If you, like, still need your mom to take you shopping, then, like, you're probably not 18.  That means, like, you totally have to listen to your parents because, like, they are IN CHARGE.  Just making your own money doesn't make you an adult.

Answer 5

There may be things I don't know, but you sound responsible to me.

However, maybe Mom sees your wardrobe as already pretty full???

Try telling your Mom that in no way does $90 buy today what it bought when your Mom was young.  She should know that.  Sounds like you do have your eyes open for discount stores.  It's not like you intend to buy at Lord & Taylor for pete sake.

Personally, I feel that your self-made budget for $300 is most reasonable.  Your Mom should be happy that you are being so responsible.

I am not a kid.  In fact, I could not only be your Mom, but your grandmother.

All kids should be as responsible as you are.

Good luck honey.

Answer 6

Just because you have a job - does NOT make you a responsible adult.  You're just a child and as long as you live under your parent's roof - you abide by their rules.

Sit down, with your mother, and discuss the entire issue.  Most of all, stop and LISTEN!

Answer 7

i agree with like um the  posters that you are still under your parents rules. they will help you like grow up!

Answer 8

okk when i was 16 id been working for 2 years and my parents had come to terms with the fact that i was making my own money and i was going to spend it the way i wanted to

Although to begin with i had a similar problem, your parents are however trying to protect you from regretting what you do with your hard earned cash, after talking to my parents calmly we came to a compromise in that i would spend the money i earned but i would also save so much of it each time i got paid. You may already be doing this but you may have to let your parents know and make them feel like you are actually attempting to meet them half way. Tbh i basically made my parents feel like they were still putting restrictions on me but they were letting me go a litttttle bit. Ask your friends if they want to go out shopping and take your card with you [if you have one] draw out the money you want to spend and put it away for the day, that way you spend what you want on what you want cause your parents won't be with you but you'll still save the money they want you to save.

I really hope this works, i know how frustrating it is to have so many rules over you

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