Have I gone completely crazy?

Question

I'm 16, and in about january this year I was assaulted by my dad and with all the pressure of exams, my parents divorce, my mother's abuse and various other things I had a complete breakdown. I was eventually referred to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder and OCD and I see him every month. He's put me on medications which is helping a lot.

However, recently I've been behaving really weirdly. I feel like someone else is in control of me and is making me do things I don't want to. For example, I spent the £600 savings in my bank account that I had saved for almost a year on children's toys. I bought a Sylvanian families house and two families, 3 Bratz dolls and a Bratz horse, various stuffed animals, a Nintendo wii and my most recent purchase; a ''reborn'' doll. (If you don't know what these are, they're very realistic looking baby dolls that cost between £150 and £1,000. There was a documentary about them on channel 4 a while ago)

In addition to the doll, I also bought it baby clothes and shoes, a stuffed toy, a rattle, lots of pacifiers and a bottle which I filled with fabric conditioner to look like baby formula. I almost bought a car seat for it today too, the only thing that stopped me was that I had no more money in my account.

I've clearly gone insane, I'm buying real baby items for a very expensive doll. I'm 16, I'm too old for this stuff. What's going on?

I don't know what I would say if my friends found out I spent close to £600 on children's toys, dolls and baby accesories despite not having a baby and really needing the money for new clothes. I know I should speak to my shrink about this, but I don't see him for another week and he's pretty useless anyway to be honest, he just nods and writes notes.

Anyway, advice please? Why am I doing this? How can I stop? Sorry it's such a long question, thanks for reading it all. X

Answer 1

what meds are you on?

Answer 2

Don't worry - I can assure you your not going crazy. I think this is a slight side effect of the meds, but most of all, you have had a very, very rough time lately. I applaud your confidence for writing this question - it shows that you recognize what is happening in your life, but confused why. Please, let me help you futher. I am experienced, and I have helped many people through email and instant message. Please, go onto my profile page and eithder click email or IM, I would love to help you or if not, just to hear your problems and reassure you. It will be okay sweetie x x x

Answer 3

The £600 pounds spent on children's toys, dolls and baby accessories could we be your way of coping in such a dysfunctional environment.

Some teenagers act out by taking drugs and/or drinking alcohol, or using violence to cope in stressful situations. Therefore, my advice to you would be to seek professional help from mental health services that offer counseling to teenagers growing up in dysfunctional homes.

The Government's aim is for every child, whatever their background or their circumstances, to have the support they need to:

    * Be healthy

    * Stay safe

    * Enjoy and achieve

    * Make a positive contribution

    * Achieve economic well-being

This means that the organisations involved with providing services to children - from hospitals and schools, to police and voluntary groups - will be teaming up in new ways, sharing information and working together, to protect children and young people from harm and help them achieve what they want in life.

In a more positive note, I would just like to say, 'your use of grammar, punctuation, and spelling is very good especially for a 16 year old. Well done!'

Answer 4

Aaw honey I hear you - it is a difficult question to answer though - there's not many mental health specialists on here.  Everyone's going to say speak with your doc. I can only speculate (so bear in mind I could be way off the mark) that buying the baby things for the doll has something to do with you wanting to regress back into childhood, and in a way perhaps you are transfering your own need to be looked after, to the doll. Perhaps it is a subconcious way of trying to communicate to your parents that you need to be looked after, and you need their love (whilst maybe they themselves are wrapped up in what's going on between them?).

Can you see if you can bring your appointment forward? You know you can try seeing a different shrink if he's not cutting it for you. It sounds to me like you need to see someone more often than just once a week.

Hang in there - it won't always be lke this. x

P.S. you're definately not crazy or insane, cause if you were, you wouldn't be able to acknowledge it.  

Answer 5

well, not trying to be mean but to be honest but...i think so.

yeah, you should go tell the shrink about this.

and try to refund all the baby stuff you bought.

you don't NEED the toys; yeah tell the shrink about this.

i used to take zoloft too.

Answer 6

To me it sounds like the medications you are on have some unexpected side effects.  

My mom was simply on Ambien, and it mader her insane.  She would order stuff out of catalogues in the middle of the night, and she thought her husband was trying to kill her.  

tell your doc about it.  

Answer 7

Sounds like you had a manic episode. Those are often common in bipolar folks. Please tell you doc and suggest that perhaps your current medication cocktail needs to be altered as though to address mania more effectively.

Answer 8

Some medication have side effects... you have to control yourself,.

Answer 9

I'm no expert so this is only my interpretation on what you have said.

I personally do not thing your spending spree is as a result of the medication you are on.  You say that you have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and that you feel like someone else is in control of you and making you do things you don't want to or wouldn't normally do.  It sounds to me your spending spree is all part of the OCD ie the obsession being buying toys including dolls and items to compliment those dolls.  It could also be part of the Bi-polar ie you were high as opposed to low, but I still think it's got more to do with the OCD.

I also think that maybe, just maybe you are buying items such as the Syvanian families house and two families because ideally this is what you would have wanted for yourself but have no longer got.

The 'reborn' doll you bought is no doubt very life like which is perhaps why you have bought real baby items for it, plus perhaps having a 'baby' of your own would make you feel really wanted, purposeful and

bring joy into your life after what has been a really S****y rough time.

A Ninetendo Wii is a source of great fun (so I hear), and soft toys are comforting, and you certainly need a bit of comfort after what you have been through.

I don't think you have gone at all mad/insane.  I don't suffer from OCD but I have a bouncing tigger (makes me laugh), a singing dog and singing bear who sing 'Singing in the rain', and 'Raindrops keep falling on my head' as they swing their umbrellas.  I've got a cabbage patch doll which I'm quite happy to dress in baby clothes, and then there is my favourite.................................. Bungo the womble, whom I take to watch Grays Athletic with me - I've even knitted him a blue scarf, and when Grays got to the FA Tropy I used a baby's pale blue top to make him a Grays Ath top and then I embroidered it so that it matched the ones the fans would be wearing to the Trophy Final.  That womble has given so many fans so many laughs and not just children either.

Incidentally I do think that I have a doll because my children and 12 and 15 now, and I know I won't have anymore children so my doll is a substitute for when I feel a bit broody.

I work for Local Government (Council) and most of us Benefit Officers are female (age range 22 - 55) and many of us have soft toys on our desks.

I'm 44................................there'... a child in many of us.

Like I said my views on your spending spree are only a theory, I may well be barking up the wrong tree because I'm no expert.

The only main problem with spending your money on all this stuff is that like you say you could do with new clothes are no doubt other more essential stuff.  Can you take any of it back and get a refund on it??  How long have you had the stuff and have you kept the receipts??

I've heard the Wii is great fun and is not just for children, I know many an adult who has bought one and loves it.  Perhaps keep it if you can, and enjoy it - have fun, you deserve to after the awful time you've had.  I wouldn't mind getting one just cannot afford one at the moment.

ps If you are not particularly happy with the psychiatrist speak to whoever referred you to him, or if under the local Community Mental Health Unit speak to someone in a Senior Position and see if you can see a different Psychiatrist.