Have you felt invisible?

Question

Invisible

by C.S. Scotkin

Invisible one

destined to be

crux

of sorrow

loss

misery

from your

beginning.

No fault

of yours.

You were

an Innocent

from first

to last.

You were

never

invisible

to me.

No fault

of ours.

No power

this side

of heaven

could right

nature’s

wrong.

Numb anger

and tears

hid you.

You remain

just outside,

peripheral

sweet

glimpse,

that might

have been.

Answer 1

oooooookkkkkk

Answer 2

I'm puzzled by this one.  Part of me wonders if it refers to Christ - but, he wasn't invisible (invincible, but not invisible....sorry, my little joke)

But, then lots of this poem don't fit this...so to whom are you referring?  Is it some fellow human being, a nonentity who is ignored?

Intriguing - lots to ponder on here.

As an exercise have you tried rearranging your choice of line lengths?  I was told by some-one helping me in my early creative days that in order to get my reader(s) to hone in on certain words or phrases I should isolate them within my poem.

E.g -

Invisible one

destined to be

crux of sorrow

loss

misery

from your beginning.

Not a great change, but it does give signicance with in the verse....just a thought.

Well done with this.

Answer 3

PHENOMENAL.....and you know why

Answer 4

When Nature goes wrong, suffering ensues. You have made a very powerful statement here, expressed in real poetry. I find myself feeling visceral sorrow,  pain for the one who "might have been" and for those who knew the "invisible" one.

Answer 5

Wow,

love your

format,

reminiscent

of some

of my

earlier

things.

Okay, okay, I'll write straight. No, this actually was beautiful, and enigmatic, with the title suiting it perfectly. And while you know invisibility is the subject, there is also your subject within the subject, the person who is invisible. Your last stanza is absolutely amazing, capturing and conjuring. Thank you for your beauty and your brilliance...and your visibility.

Answer 6

This is a powerful poem to ponder and savor. It struck a deep chord in my soul, as I have always felt myself to be invisible-unseen and alone. This reads very smoothly, yet I read it slowly, wanting to contemplate each well-chosen word. Thank you.

Answer 7

Now why do you write these things that make me pause and reread and reread! lol  I think I get it, so I am leaving it at that, except to say...well done!

Answer 8

That is beautiful structured both physically and spiritually. The physical structure of poem itself stands for the alienism of the mood. Well done!

Answer 9

This is a miscarriage, there is no doubt in my mind; and how beautifully you did in describing the loss with such tenderness.

Answer 10

He is not invisible to me too, siss.Well put.U 'v described the CRUX  of our ordeal in a SWEET GLIMPSE. Never mind the rhyming & the poem structure, I like the flow of thoughts daring to deal w/ such intrecate topic.A star is earned.

Answer 11

At the reading of your poem

Some appear visibly moved

Lots of stars were given

99% have said "approved"

Great vision you have shown here

It's remarkable you write

Of something unseen at present

That is so......man, outtasight!

I find this poem enigmatic (co-sign Grannnyjill), but it flowed. The later revision has improved my understanding.

Reading it with Bob M 's glasses is interesting.