He doesn't want Adoption!?

Question

Hi my bf had an unexpected pregnancy and i want to give the baby up fpr adoption but he is not ready to give it up for adoption and i don't know what to do please i need help? I am the mohter so get to decided what i do with the baby

Answer 1

Why do you feel you should have all the rights to this child? He is as much a parent to it as you are. How about signing your rights over to him and letting him raise his son or daughter. It is exactly like an adoption, you aren't responsible for the child once you sign off your parental rights. This man has every right to raise his child if that is what he wants. You didn't make the child alone so what makes you think you can decide it's future alone?

Answer 2

Did you just ask a question where your girlfriend didn't want to give a baby up for adoption??

Answer 3

you were a boy just the other day. now you're a girl. select a gender and then come to us for advice.

Answer 4

no he has to sign off on the adoption but not an abortion.  You can give him the baby to raise or his family but he has to sign to adoption papers

Answer 5

No, you only get to decide whether or not to kill the baby.  I suggest not killing the baby, babies deserve to live.  

Now, you've got to step up and do the right thing.  If you weren't ready to be a Mom, you shouldn't have been having s*x.  It's too late for regrets now.  You cannot give the baby up for adoption without his consent.  If you try, you could be prosecuted.  

If you don't want to raise the baby, you don't have to.  He can be the primary custodian.  However, no matter what you are going to have to provide for this baby.  If you don't want to raise it, then you'll have to pay childsupport.  Deadbeat dads are bad enough, don't become a deadbeat mom!

Answer 6

flip a coin...let fate decide...

Answer 7

You cant have the baby adopted if he doesn’t want it to be, he has parental rights.  Just because you’re the mother you do not get to decided what to do with the baby, if you had an abortion it would be your choose and your choose alone. However since your have decide to have the baby then the decision about placing for adoption is one that both biological parents have to agree to. It look like your options are to parent or give the baby to its father and let him parent.  Now if you feel he would not be a fit parent for the baby then its possible that you could get his rights terminated. But you would have to have some proof of this.

Answer 8

Wow, just the other day you were the dad and SHE didn't want to give it up.

How'd you do that??

Answer 9

If you don't want to be involved with your child's life, that's a shame, but our society does allow you to make that decision.  But why would rather give your child up to strangers than allow his or her father to raise it?  Why would deny your child the chance to know her or his natural family?  

If you give your child up for adoption, he will still have his parental rights and can fight for custody.  In making him go through that, you will almost certainly cause him a great deal of emotional pain, and you are likely to cause some prospective adoptive parents pain as well, if you aren't upfront about his wishes.  

Legally, and more importantly - morally, you don't really have a leg to stand on here.  And I'm not sure why you would do this in the first place.

Answer 10

how bout giving the baby up to their father since he wants to keep it

you can easily just hand over parental rights to the baby's father

Answer 11

uh,,,,,why would you have any more say than the father. just because you are the mom, DOES NOT mean you decide what to do with the baby, that is just ludicrous!! you need to give up your rights to the father.

Answer 12

And he is the father, so he has an equal say in the decision.  If he wants to raise his child, he has every right to do so.  You are still welcome to terminate your parental rights.

Every single child deserves the opportunity to be raised within his/her natural family.  Why would you want to deny that to your child?

Answer 13

Oh sweetie!! this is so tough!  I know people that are just dieing to adopt, and i know people who have mourned the child they gave up for adoption. Its a tough decision and you don't give reasons for either your or his feelings. I think you need to sit down and TALK. Each of you need to give reasons to other as to why you feel the way you do--and what your willing to do if either of you keep the baby (child support, main caregiver, how much contact). And you both need to listen openly, maybe even tape the conversation so you can distance yourself and listen to it later on in the pregnancy and really hear what each other is saying. An objective third party could help as well. I hate to sound MEAN, but honey you don't get the final say. You made this baby together you say together what happens, and if you try to go behind his back a lot of people could get hurt. If you still desire adoption (or are unsure) counsellings (separately and as a couple )can help; either contact  your clergyman or call your local planned parenthood (yes they are about more than abortion!!)  to help you with this. Some adoption agencies even offer services for the birth parents. I also recommend you contact a lawyer to see what your rights are before you sign off to either a stranger or the baby daddy.

Good Luck, I will pray that you make the best decision for this baby.

Answer 14

If this is for real, please give thought to the fathers situation. If he thinks he can raise this child then he should have the opportunity to do so. I realize it has always been about what the mother wants and I am not going to go into that at this time. Just be careful. Men have the same attachments to their children that women do. We just found my daughters bfather and he can't thank us enough for finding him. if you could see the look on his face when he is with her. We fulfilled his longest standing wish, to see her again. To know that she was really cared for and safe has always been his biggest concern, just like a bmom. Please do not make a decision for him. Let him make his own. I know a few single fathers and they have had a hard road just like any single mom would but they made it. They raised their children and had a family.

Answer 15

This happened to my son, And it's been a nightmare for everybody except the mother. At least she told who the father was but didn't put his name on birth records she left it unknown.That is what the adoption agency told her to do. THIS IS WRONG. Please don't make this mistake. If my son had been ordered to pay child support she would have to. My son has to pay the trips to see his son 4 states away each month and it cost anywhere from 800 to 1100 each trip. But it's well worth it to see that sweet baby . But it's so sad when he the father has to say good by after the weekend.

In baby Sam's case the father ended up losing the baby and has to pay child support to the couple until his son gets 18 years old . That father pays 200 a month but guess what the mother who gave the baby away pays 207 a month.

  Also there is a chance if you go around him he can sue you. I'm not trying to scare you but inform you. If you are both young talk to him he might change his mind but it took both of you to make this baby. Good luck to you and please do the right thing it's so hard if you try to go around him.

Answer 16

The child is your boyfriends just as much as yours and he has equal rights.

If you don't feel able to keep the child but he wants to I agree, sign the baby over to him

Answer 17

You don't say how old you both are but I will assume you are both young and scared.  Please know that the father does have a say in this issue and that both parties are responsible.

Let him know that there is such a thing as an open adoption. This is where you both would pick who your babys parents will be,meet the couple and have the help you need in the process.

If you have more questions or your boyfriend would like to ask questions please feel free to email me.

I am not soliciting, I am a teen mentor and have information to pass on to someone who may need it.  No questions asked