Question:

He hurts my feelings. ?

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I'm in a committed, serious relationship. He has a stressful job and his mother is, and has been, very ill. He's been saying things that bother me. I feel like he talks down to me. I told him this. He says that he's afraid to say anything at all to me now. I told him if we don't communicate, our relationship will fall apart and that he has to take a risk that he might hurt my feelings. -We could talk about it.. The conversation ended in me apologizing and telling him I guess I should just get over it. I'm still not satisfied. Here's an example of one of the conversations that get me: I'm running bath water for my child. I notice there isn't any hot water. I casually mention it to him in the living room of new apartment. He says nothing. I walk to the sink and check the faucet. (There were many problems with the apt and who knows, maybe the faucet to the sink might work) He says, "Don't you know how water heaters work? I ran the dishwasher several times today and the water has to reheat." I explained to him my thoughts about the hot water being disconnected to the tub. I also know there should have been some hot water there because it had been awhile since he had run the dishes through. It turns out, the water heater was broken. Another thing is that I'm a single mom and I do the best I can for my child. He's wanting me to change several things to fit his schedule. For instance, he wants to eat at the dinner table. I haven't owned one so this isn't a routine of mine. I realize it is my fault for not sticking my child in a highchair but is it really that necessary considering he's usually done with his dinner and leaves the table in a fraction of the time it takes me to eat? I understand that tradition means more to some than others. I am willing to work with his requests but feel that he's opposing me all the way. For instance, he drinks alot of sodas out of a can. I asked if he could switch to a bottle tonight after my child spilled one. I also worry she'll cut a finger because he leaves his empties lying around. He says that they cost more and he goes through too many of them to use a bottle. Any other women out there that understand what I'm feeling? Am I being overly sensitive?

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6 ANSWERS


  1. It seems that your communications are not FRIENDLY or respectful.

    FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILD, who is being damaged by your unhappy communications,

    Learn how to relate better by going here:

    http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...


  2. OMIGOD-do you need this? does your child need this-the guy sounds like a lousy dropkick and you know they never change.If you really think you want to stick with this guy, why not go for some relationship counselling-if he refuses i suggest you kiss him goodbye-life's too short to be abused-and that is what he is doing to you girl.

    BTW-why on earth would someone run a dishwasher several times in one day???

  3. You need to learn to be assertive. Sounds like this guy just doesn't know how to treat a woman like a lady, or he has just started taking you for granted. Either way, it needs to be fixed.

    Compromises are the key to happy relationships. Tell him you will start eating at the dinner table if he would switch to bottles. Make sure both of you have enough give and take in the relationship.

    Is your relationship missing romance or spark? You may need to rekindle that by going on dates or setting up romantic evenings and dressing up for him.

  4. It sounds to me like he is being callous and selfish beyond reason, like why can't he drink his soda from a glass, but insist on eating at the table although I think eating at the table is a good idea and finished or not he should wait for you and engage in some polite conversation, would he leave you in a restaurant if he finished first, really whats that about?  stress or not he needs to respect you and your child.

  5. You are in a relationship and you need to bend a little. Why not start a new tradition with him, like sitting at the table. Don't you want your child to know/have manners? He must understand, also, that picking up after yourself is a must especially when there is a child. Remember men don't like to talk as much as women do. When you talk at him, he will clam up. Find a way to communicate with him so he feels free to open up with you.  

  6. You are being sensitive, but I think every woman is sensitive at times, he needs to respect you and understand you!  Try going to family therapy and work things out, he needs to do it for all of you, because your child needs a safe home.  Talk to him and let him know how you feel about everything and hopefully he wants to change...  Good luck, take care =)

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