Help Finding My Sexual Identity

Question

I know this question is going to sound a little bit odd, but oh well, here goes. I have a good idea what my sexual orientation is, but I'm not entirely sure. I'm going to be blunt, I'm sexually attracted to both genders, I have been for a while now, though I've only ever been emotionally attracted to the female gender. I also think my sexual attraction stems from sexual abuse and rape from a male when I was little. I've never ever felt the urge to engage a relationship with a guy, and I would act upon that impulse if I ever felt it, I find nothing wrong with homosexuality at all, and would freely admit it if I felt that way. In addition, I'm not sexually attracted to any guy in specific, only the gender and physique/build . I've always identified myself as straight, though I have g*y friends, but I've never really been attracted to guys. I don't think I'm repressing any urges at all, though I could be wrong. I'd just like your guys assessments of my sexuality from what's given here.

Answer 1

Which do you think about more often while masturbating? That will tell you a lot.

Answer 2

I've read and re-read your question and even though others who have attempted to answer your question have made the assumption you are female, I see nothing in your statement that would lead me to assume your either male or female.  I like the way you worded your question since you have not made your own gender an issue here. :-)  You also have not said how old you are and that is very important to your situation.  For instance, if your only 13 years old, then your still a ways from the age where you will know for sure who you are and what you are.  Time and experience teaches us those lessons.  Mind you, it's good that your questioning no matter what your age.  But, if your over twenty years old and your just now attempting to come to terms with your sexual identity, good for you.  Now's the time, not when you over forty or fifty. :-)

Now, if you self identify as a male, then the scenario you've drawn us a picture of, is one that most young boys go through in their lives.  The one exception is the part where you've been sexually molested by a man.  I'm sorry that happened to you.  My own son went through that when he was just six years old and it is my belief that it has effected him the rest of his life.  He is now 25 and still has not had a lasting relationship with anyone.  Oh yes, he identifies as a straight male. :-)  He's bright and successful, but things like that haunt people in ways they never dreamed of.  Even now, therapy would do him a world of good, but he insist that therapist are quacks.  

Well my Dear, in the end, no one can truly help you find your sexual identity.  That's something you will do on your own and in your own time.  It may take two weeks, two years, or forty years.  Some live their lives and never come to terms with their own sexual identity, but I have confidence that since your now questioning, you'll figure it out.  Some day, that one special person will come along and simply light up your life and then you'll know.  

All the best,

TerriLee

Answer 3

I think you are straight but because of your sexual abuse you tend to gravitate towards women more than men. As such my advise is to get some counselling so that you can feel better about yourself and that you can become comfortable with men. Homosexuality is not of God. It is sin and although people might say it is alright it is not. Man was made for woman and woman for man. Unfortunately because of your sexual abuse you are terrified of getting close to men because you feel that all men are just like your uncle. But all men are not like that at all. There are some very good men that are all around. Take care!!!

Answer 4

Sexual identity is usually tied to emotional identity. Who we find attractive sexually is also usually who we find attractive emotionally, because after all the hot passion, who do we want to lie next to and cuddle with or talk to and share ourselves with? Sexuality is also another word for bonding, and bonding is just as easily done emotionally as it is physically.

Because you're a girl, you've probably been given heterosexual hints all throughout your life, which you might have been open to when you were younger, but the older you get, the more your own identity comes out. The rape did not make you g*y, but it certainly helped convince you of the unattractiveness of guys in general. You feel about guys the way I feel about guys (being a guy, that is): I can recognize another guy as being handsome or attractive, but how I respond to that is quite different than how I respond to a woman I feel the same way about. In the guy's case, I want to be him, while in the woman's case, I want to be with her. My sexual and emotional inclination is towards the woman.

What you've said sounds like you're g*y (L*****n, whatever term you like) to me. That means some woman is already lucky and doesn't even know it yet.

Answer 5

its actually natural though many people or males wont admitt it but with both genders its natural to have some sort of atraction to the same s*x.not meaning your g*y or anything because of that.im not too sure how to explain what i mean bt i would like to help.  

Answer 6

first of all i am terribly sorry for what you have been through. I feel that it is sometimes natural to be attracted to the same gender, sometimes people feel that way too, perhaps due to your unpleasant past encounter with men, you might not be attracted to them anymore, that does not mean that you are not straight, perhaps next time, you will eventually meet the guy that will do anything to heal you from that wound of yours, and perhaps than, you might be able to feel more comfortable around men when you have a protector by your side ^^

Answer 7

You could possibly be bisexual. But it does depend on your sexual urges toward men and/or women. You could also be a homosexual, though the latter doesn't seem as likely. I think the best way to assess yourself would be to gather up your courage and ask a sexual therapist if you are really confused, if not then you can compare yourself to others of different sexual orientations and deduce what orientation seems to be the most like you.

But no matter whether you are straight or g*y or bisexual, no matter what your orientation is, be yourself and those that matter will love and support because of who you are. Have a good day, and I hope I helped you with your problem!

Answer 8

I'd say its obvious you're straight. The attraction to males is only due to the fact you were abused. What a shame. Also, I see proof in your statement that you're only emotionally attracted to women, as your abuse would not lead to emotional attraction as that behavior is devoid of human emotion. Good luck to you.