Help! My friend is obsessed

Question

My friend lives in New York but likes this girl in Oklahoma. He's 18 she's 24. She has a daughter and an ex-husband that "still ruins her life". She once had cancer and has heart problems now. And honestly in a way I kinda think it's all a lie. If someone has soo many health issues, financial issues, plus a daughter to take care of would they find the time to go to California and party it up with numerous guys all the time? He went to Oklahoma to visit her a few months ago and she hardly spent any time with him after he wasted thousands of dollars to get there and buy a hotel room. Actually, when he came back to New York, she broke up with him for good. And no matter what he's still sooo into her. He wants to take her and her daughter to disney for her daughter's birthday. He spent over $70 on a rare flower she likes. And with all of this he's doing for her, she does nothing but complain, ignore his calls and yell at him. And of course this isn't my relationship. Why should I care? but she cursed at me twice which was before I hated her. Like I never said a word to her. And he talks about her daily. She's planning on moving to California and now he wants to move all the way over there to be with her, leaving his family, his college, his whole life in New York. And she's engaged. Should I help him not ruin his life for a girl who doesn't notice he's there or should I leave it alone?

Answer 1

you can lead a horse to water. . . but you cant make it drink. you can tell him what you think, but it probably wont change anything, he sounds stubborn.

Answer 2

stand by your friend but not to the point it makes you crazy,he will have to figure this out himself.Talk to him show him your letter be his friend it sounds like you are but dont make yourself obsessed too

Answer 3

involving yourself in another relationship is not recommended- as his friend, you should just be there for him when things do not work out and he returns- most people will follow their heart regardless the obstacles ahead and have to learn the hard way, for themselves

have you tried talked to his family and other friends; has he seen a counselor- perhaps he needs an intervention, but only if others are on board b/c that is too much for you alone

regardless, he is an idiot, and you know that, and he probably does as well, but cannot accept it...only time will resolve this and he has to see reality for himself , to realize that he does not need her baggage and deserves to be treated better and when it hits him- just be a friend