Help With My Story - Insanity?

Question

I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and I want some opinions and help with it. Please read the description of the story in the section that says 'Author's Comments'.

http://xkannax.deviantart.com/art/Insanity-76223658

How can I make this better?

Where are there grammar and spelling mistakes?

I'd appreciate any help.

Answer 1

The story is fine the way it is.....I saw no error in grammar...although a teacher may have a difference of opinion. You wrote the story as it was coming to you and a person writing what they feel at the moment has no sense of grammer. GOOD JOB

Answer 2

wow. that is really good. spelling and gramer i can't see anything....but on the other hand i suck at spelling. lol. i write stories too. but yours is alot better than what i've come up with. props!!!!!

Answer 3

couldn't figure out how to comment... but WOW... only nine... and you got a D...? intellectually you are smarter than your teacher. there was some grammar errors, but it was as good as anything I would write and I'm 36. I'm wondering at what level you are reading and whether is causing other problems with interest at school. anyway, you have found a wonderful outlet let for your thoughts. keep up it. I look forward to maybe reading the books you will writing when you are older. good luck.