Help!!!!!!!!!! idk what to do?

Question

about a year ago my bf and i got pregnant by accident. he was strongly for an abortion. said he couldn't be a dad yet and wasn't ready. just recently i asked him if we were going to have any kids. he said no. he said he wasn't ready for kids. he's 35. i want a baby desperately. i can't get over the abortion and everytime i see a baby it tears my heart apart all over again. my questin is, how do i get him to change his mind? and how do i cope if he won't budge? abortions are against everything i've been taught. but i felt that i didn't want to bring a baby into the world who's dad didn't want it. however i did want it and i made sure he knew it. he's had to deal with my depression a few times when i've been overwhelmed thinking about it. can anyone help? thanks.

Answer 1

First let me say I've never been in your situation before but I understand wanting to have a child.  I personally feel like we all should have the right and privilege of having a child.  I don't want to tell you how to live your life but I feel like if you want to have a child and your boyfriend doesn't then you'll just have to choose between the wanting of a baby and him.  I've attached a link that has facts and some healing tips. Check it out and live your life the way you want it. Don't let someone else decided what you want to do.

Answer 2

we have a family friend who was with this guy who didnt want kids, he had 1 and he was raised. so he told her if she wanted a baby she would have to do it with out him. that is exactly what she did, she got pregnant by a guy (she never told anyone who he was) and had a baby. (they broke up for a few weeks) but they bought a house together and still lived together, the bf feel in love with the kid, and eventually had him calling him daddy. he so attached when they did break up he sued for custody of the baby. im not saying thats a right thing for you to do but that is the story of one person. she eventually found the love of her life with two kids of his own,who adopted her son. she is blissfully happy, and her happiness started the day her son was born. good luck

Answer 3

I'd move on.  Making someone want to have a baby is not something u can do.  I was in a similar situation.  I left the guy and found someone else whom I had a child with. In the end, I am glad I had one with someone who wanted what I wanted.  The other man is a distant memory.

Answer 4

Wow i'm sorry but i can't believe you let him decide what to do with your body. If he isn't ready for kids at 35 you need to find someone else who wants kids. it would take less time to get to the having kids point with another man than to wait for this one to be ready.

Answer 5

Dear Jess,

I hv nothing much to say than the baby is a light of God & we don't hv rights to shut it . Dear listen to your heart you will know what you want. If I was you I should have final & serious talk with him and take final decision offcourse I wants baby because I know whst I need. I don't wany baby tears in my dreams. You are lucky you get pragnent so many peoples wants to hv baby but they can't get it. so think it's not too late. I would like to know your decision so send me a mail on [e-mail]

Answer 6

Hmm... are you sure this man is right for you? I am all for relationships where goals are similar yet different however each partner is encouraged to follow their goals and beliefs. You want kids he doesn't.. your against abortions he's not.. you didn't want an abortion he did... he's 35 his clock is ticking so is yours... does he ever want kids.. and if so... why is it not the right time.. if not... then maybe this relationship isn't right for you.. you have a goal.. go for it..

Answer 7

threaten him that your gunna get a doner . hed probly be willing.

Answer 8

If he's 35 and still doesn't want kids, you may be in for a very long wait.

If you're that convinced that you want a child, then you're probably going to have to find a new father.