Help with a Transsexual Relationship?

Question

Okay, so there's a transgirl (i.e, she was born male) who I really like a lot. I wouldn't mind a fairly committed relationship with her. The problem is, it somehow doesn't feel right. I'm fairly convinced I'm bisexual - although I've never had a g*y relationship I've definitely had some very g*y thoughts and quite a few g*y crushes. I've got the sad feeling that the reason I'm afraid of a relationship is some kind of lingering transphobic thing going on in my mind - I've heard trannies made fun of enough that I've got a mental block, kind of thing. I want a relationship, though - can anyone give me some advice in getting over my stupid prejudices? Thanks!

Answer 1

Go date a man and then call yourself a bisexual,

from the looks of it, I'm not entirely convinced that you're attracted to "her".

Answer 2

Problem: "how can we talk about an issue like this in stilted formal terminology? "Transsexual" sounds to me like "Caucasian" - detached, cold, and almost medical."

Then say:

Person born transsexual

Transsexual person

Trans woman (or trans guy for FtM's)

Transsexual woman

To the original post: Date her and see how things go.  After a few dates if it doesn't "feel right" then you are free to move on to someone else.  The key being you tried, just like you would have with anybody else.

Answer 3

As a M to F transwoman, I would love to find someone who would accept me as a woman and go on dates with me. But, it seems that there aren't many people who would like to date transwoman and treat her like a lady.

Answer 4

if it doesn't feel right, it's not right, forget it and move on.

Answer 5

There are some problems with your question. What is a fairly committed relationship? Rather you are Bi or not is of no consequence because she is a woman, nothing else. From that statement I assume she is pre-op. Also why do you want a relationship if it does not feel right?

So the real issue is your own self admitted transphoba. Are you going to desert her the second someone may find out her past? Are you going to feel embarrassed  or ashamed that other people might know her past? If you answered yes then move on. She doesn't need your drama in her life. She has no doubt dealt with enough c**p in her life already. Do not pile yours on to her shoulders. Also never refer to her with derogatory terms such as trannie.

Do you want to get past your issues? Take the time to get to know her as a person. Treat her like you would any other woman. You just may find she is very intelligent. You may also find she is a very loving, kind and gentle person.

I now have a question for you. When you have heard people making fun of people that were born with this medical condition what did you do? Go along with the crowd and join in or defend the person? She was born with a medical condition that she has or is in the process of correcting. Would you allow someone to make fun of a person with a cleft lip or Downs Syndrome?

EDIT; Thank you for clearing up the confussion. As for your predjudices only you can rid yourself of them. I can tell you that it will kill any chance of a relationship with her though. I honestly do not know what more I can tell you.

Perhaaps you should ask her what she is comfortable with as far as terms used but transwoman, girl, even chick are far better then trannie.

Answer 6

Give it a shot and see how it goes. I know how you feel man.