Help with potty training!

Question

My son is almost three and a half, but isn't potty trained. I have bought him pull ups, and two different potties, read to him books on it, and even bribed him with using the potty. I tried reasoning with him by telling him that he is a big boy now and he needs to use the toilet, but he refuses to go and says that he is still a baby. I have tried to put him on the toilet when I know he's going to poo, but he just sat there for 20 minutes and nothing. He held it in until he feel asleep at night. And held it in the whole day after that. I just ran out of ideas, please any hints or tricks about this would be welcomed!

Answer 1

Doesn't he go to daycare?

There they see other children doing this and very quicky they learn from them. It's the easiest way, to do it tigether with other children

Answer 2

Here's what I did with my son:

I saw the "window" where he was slightly interested... and we went with it. I just said "okay, you are a big boy now, and it's time for you to go potty on the potty chair like the big kids." I didn't use one of those little potties, I bought one of those inserts for the toilet and put him on that. I also went to ToysRUs and spent $120 on Thomas trains (I realize this is extreme, but we meant business). Every time he went potty on the toilet, he got to pick a train. He would get up on the potty, squeeze out a few drops, and then get the train. My husband and I were like, "hmmmm, he's playing us"... but it worked. Once we started this, we never once looked back. I got rid of all diapers in the house and he wore underwear. I put a Pull-up on him at night, and we called them "night-time big boy pants" and I had him step into them like underwear... no more lying down.

When he says "I'm a baby" I would say back, "okay, well if you're a baby, then I'm going to have to give you your milk in a bottle" or "well, I guess you won't be able to play with your big boy toys" or whatever you think will make him see that being a baby isn't a payoff for him.

That being said, maybe give it a couple of weeks to chill and then try again mid-August???

I just read your recent details...

I HATE IT when people who have no children offer advice and criticism, a.k.a. your sister-in-law. Doesn't it just figure that her friend would tell your sis the BEST of what her son does? She's not going to tell your sis all the c**p that goes on... I have had to say to some of my childless friends, "thanks for the input, but I'm going to run this by some of my mom friends."

I really think the "not trying hard enough" is baloney.  Your son sounds like a smart guy who has brains enough to engage you in a power struggle. Take the heat off for a few weeks and don't even talk about it with him. Just cool things down... please tell me that the daycare isn't demanding a potty-trained kid, because that seems inappropriate to me...

I guess just remember that every kid is different, and that he's going to determine when he does it... and keep in mind that he won't go to kindergarten in a diaper! LOL! :)

Answer 3

If he wears pull-ups, I would take them away.

I wonder why he's saying he's still a baby?

Try starting a reward system with him. Everytime he uses the toilet, give him a reward. And everytime he doesn't, take something away.

Answer 4

Pull-ups are a great start when potty training, but when you feel like no progress is being made, it's time to try something else. And buying all the coolest kid toilets in the world won't make a difference if your child doesn't want to go. I suggest taking him to the store and letting him pick out his own "big boy" underwear (the real stuff!). That way, he get's a sense of feeling in-control in a situation that can sometimes be beyond his control. Be prepared for accidents- they will happen. However, the feeling of being wet/dirty in REAL underwear is much different than pull-ups. The more times he does it, the more he won't like it. Also start a "sticker chart" for everytime he attempts the potty and everytime he goes. "Mommy picks the sticker when he tries, you pick the sticker when you go!" Display the chart where the family can see so he knows to be proud of his accomplishment! Even small rewards can boost a childs confidence- say he BM's in the toilet 3 times in the week.... taking him out for ice cream or even picking out a small toy at the dollar store can do wonders. Though it may seem like a bribe, you're actually enforcing his efforts and recognizing his accomplishment.

Daycare can be a WONDERFUL help. The teachers are very experienced when it comes to training, and have seen it all! Speaking with them about ideas and practices can really help. Consistency is key- whatever they do at school, try to continue at home. That way, your child doesn't get confused between school and home.

Remember that boys are harder to train than girls.... and unfortunatly, having a child pass a BM is the most difficult part. I've seen children hold it in for DAYS. Just stay diligent and don't give up and try not to get frustrated (imagine how frustrated your son must be!) Know that it is going to happen, and it will happen at his own rate. YOU CAN DO IT!! And so can your son :) Good luck!

P.S- Politely ignore anyone who has never delt with potty training a child... they have NO IDEA what it is like. You CANNOT compare one child to another, as all children do things differently. Stay strong!!

Answer 5

I am wondering the same. I am having the exact same problem with my son that is four year old. He did the same thing your son doing now and in the past. I try underwear that didn't work. I would try do a sticker chart everytime he goes potty he gets a sticker put it on his chart. Try put cheerio's  in the potty and tell him he needs to aim them. And see if that get him going. Boys are stubborn when it comes to potty training. And I have two of them. My oldest son wasn't fully potty trained till 4 1/2 year old.