How about an open marriage ?

Question

my huband and i have been married for 7yrs(8 will be st patricks day)but i want to know what is an open marriage all about because we started talking about it b4 he went to work 2day and i brought it up and he said that he thinks it is when both spouses agree on letting each spouse do whatever they want to do and he was talking about that if i could have s*x with another man since i want to and he lets me it would be alright then 4 him to do the same thing since he wants to and i told him that he could bc i wouldnt get mad and im not the jealous type is that still ok and is it ok if neither 1 of us got mad as long as we know what the other one is doing would that be considered as an open marriage could anyone give me an exact answer remember if you do ill give you the best answer points PLEASE

Answer 1

Yes, the relationship you describe would be an open marriage.  I recommend that you proceed with caution.  I won't condemn you if this is your choice, but there are some potential pitfalls.  

Many times when people enter this type of relationship, the s*x partners that they choose do not respect the marriage and begin to believe that there is more to the relationship than s*x.  If this happens, you might experience stress in your marriage that you weren't expecting.  For example, your husband might hook up with a woman a couple of times.  The lady he's with may decide that she wants more from him and begin pursuing a more meaningful relationship with him.  Even if she knows that the two of you are married, she will believe that this is okay.  In her mind, if you are willing to accept your husband sleeping with other women then you are not truly committed to your marriage so it must mean that she has a chance at snagging him for herself.  The same could happen with you and another man.  

If you absolutely must pursue such a relationship, I recommend that you check into the swinging community as opposed to hooking up with random people.  There are singles involved in this lifestyle as well as couples, and they tend to have a better understanding that it's only about s*x.  

Personally, I wouldn't pursue either lifestyle as I believe there is a real risk of damaging a marriage beyond repair when doing so.  The risk wouldn't be worth it to me.  I do understand that this works for some people, though.  I would just like to ask that you please take the time to fully educate yourself on the possible issues that could arise before stepping in.  Good luck to you, and I hope everything works out well for you and your husband.

Answer 2

I don't think that an open marriage is a good idea, but who am I to judge you? But marriage is a sacred union between 2 people who are faithful to each other emotionally and physically. By having s*x with other people you break your marriage vows. It is your life, live it the way you want, but be careful, because this whole thing could break your marriage.

Answer 3

How about venereal disease?  

Answer 4

in your vows when you get married you vow to stay with that person and never cheat.

if you;re having s*x with another man you are breaking that vow. Why be married anyways?

Answer 5

what happens when one of both of u falls for someone else?as long as your prepared for whatever to happen, when u allow this in your marriage, sooner or later they will fall in love/lust with someone else and want to be with that other person. and it could really change your life for the worst, financially, emotionally,it all sounds great at first, but sometimes people develop an emotional tie to someone they are sleeping with, and it ends the marriage they are in. if it were me i would not be comfortable with this, maybe he is trying to set u up so he can walk out on u, maybe he already has someone and is trying to bring u down to his level so he can feel justified in walking out on u.

Answer 6

The whole point of being married is to spend the rest of your life with that person in entirety. That includes s*x. why would you marry someone and then let them sleep around? That would be a really easy way to get a disease and possibly unwanted children. Til death do us part ring a bell?

Answer 7

Then what is the point of being married.If you want to sleep around get a divorce.You should not even do that type of c**p when you are married.

Answer 8

Yes that is an open marriage. You guys are free to do your own thing with other people. You could also "swap". That is when you kind of "date" another couple, then go home and switch partners for the night, in the same house though.

Hope this helped.

Answer 9

So what's your question? You just described one type of open marriage I am sure there are many versions. Each couple is unique so I am sure they come up with their own rules and regulations. I don't think there is a rule book anywhere for open marriages.

Answer 10

You have a good marriage. I was with a girl once that let this go on. She had s*x with whomever she pleased, I did the same, and later each night we were both in each other's arms having s*x together, snuggling and sleeping with one another. She moved. I have missed her since then. There are so many good looking men and women around it would be a shame if you two didn't test the waters for some time. But, if you still love your husband, make sure your hand is always in his after the wild s*x. Make sure your kiss is always on his cheek when you wake up...

Answer 11

Yes that is an open marriage.  Are you sure its what you really want?

Why not just get divorced now because I guarantee you that it will happen if you both go through with it.

My friend and her husband did it after 10 years of marriage.  He met and fell in love with someone else and now they are divorced.

Answer 12

Theres no marriage to that hon, that is just consentual adultery.There is no longer any commitment.

The thing is both of you get to have "FUN" with "no strings and no jealousy".

However what happens IF you get pregnant, one of you gets a disease?

Condoms do NOT protect from HIV or Herpes, and ALL birth control makes babies.

What happens when one of you hook up with a psycho?

Or one of you fall for someone else?

Maybe he will dump you for another woman.

If you have kids what will this do to them.

You have everything to lose and really nothing to gain but fulfilling a few perverted fantasies hon.

Answer 13

I do not agree with open marriage.  I mean why get married if you are going to sleep around with other people.  Marriage is about being with one person for the rest of your life.

Linda

Answer 14

So basically both of you agree to use other people for s*x? Otherwise you both would be playing with other people's emotions for your own gain.  None of that sounds right to me - but it's your life - do what you want.

Answer 15

That's pretty much an open marriage.  It must be the ones that got married on St. Patricks Day.

We're coming up on 4 years and have talked about it.

Remember that you will be jealous and get mad.  You will have resentment.  

You have to learn to deal with it.  It's kinda like being a polygamist.  I would strongly recommend that when you decide to do this Do Not ever share the details. Ever.

What you do when you are out is your buisness.  You don't ask and you don't offer Any details what so ever.

Trust me!

Answer 16

Get a divorce niether of you are good for each other!  No respect for each other ,pretty sad life!  Find someone that will actually love you and not take your love for granted!  I feel really sorry for your marriage,  good luck.  Only the true Lord knows the best answer, just follow your heart!

Answer 17

No point staying married then.  

Answer 18

Yes an open marriage is when you both agree to have s*x with other people & no-one gets mad- it's not cheating b/c you know about it! But I know people who have done this & it is really hard- it's not easy knowing your husband is having s*x or emotional relationship with someone else! Will you really be "OK" with it? Will your husband be "OK"?  I would talk honestly with your spouse about this & all the feeling that could & will come up if you decide to do this-and I would tell the other people involved that you have no intentions of leaving your spouse!  

Answer 19

A friend of mine and his wife have a "open" marriage. Yeah they sleep with other people.

Now keep in mind it's not like they just go to the bar and pick up anybody. He has a job where he travels for weeks, up to months. She has a old friend that understands the situation.

They have made it work for years now, and they are happy with it. But both will tell you that communication is key. With each other and whatever partners they chose for themselves.

And protection..... bring home the clap and somebody's gonna get pissed!!!!!

Good luck but think about this and talk with your hubby ALOT before you decide to take this route.

Answer 20

I have allowed my husband to be with another woman (whom was a friend of mine).. It worked for awhile.. Communication is a BIG part of this whole thing... You have to be really open with each other for this to work! Even I didn't think that I was the jealous type.. But knowing your husband is going out with another women gets to you weather you want it to or not.. Just be prepared for jealousy to come out in each of you.. When it was good for us it was realllly good! And i admit I miss it now and then.. Talk to each other if this is what you both realy want good luck!

Answer 21

As I understand it, that is the correct interpretation of open marriage, but to me that's a road to disaster. What if one of you falls for someone else then it will  be an open divorce. Not a good idea in my book. Im old fashioned though

Answer 22

i have married friends that are very open and it mean just that. They have rules and share one another in every way. Me and my fiance are extremely open but we decided we only let those in our life who WE choose TOGETHER. Remember, what works for some unions may not work for yours. Stay up!

Answer 23

I guess your husband has the correct definition of an  "open marriage" ... but an open marriage is not a marriage at all.  

Why did you two even bother getting married in the first place?

Only the lamest and weakest of people have "open marriages" Love isn't about what you can do for yourself..it's about what you can do  for others... your spouse, your kids, your family... part of love is putting yourself last instead of first.

Answer 24

open marriage slipped out of h**l and into the minds of few.

that should not exist in marriage.

if someone even thinks about something like that, it's time to get divorce quick. super quick