How come I`m soo useless?

Question

i`m quite a pretty girl but i`m hopeless in everything else.

I have done ok in my high school G.C.S.E exams I ended up with 4 Grade C`s or above but needed 5 to do a advance course and in my resits I have got all D`s :(

I`m also not too good with housework and lazy.I spend way too much time on the comp.

I love sports but could`t be bothered to get myself into a sports club.

I know a lot of guys that are interested in me and even if I like them I'm afraid to tell them I love them back and relationships worry me.

i know I'm still very young yet (17 going on 18) but i feel like i haven`t done any thing good in my life, something I can feel proud of. I know I should get up my **** and do something about it but I have no confidence left in myself, I always think I'm going to do really bad in everything and theres no point cuz I will "mess it up"

Answer 1

You may feel down right now, but you will feel better if you make a list of things you like to do, and pick a few activities related to them. Your body and health will be better if you do something active, your mind will be better if you study sometime fun, and something interesting, even if it means reading a book that looks good. Your relationships with your friends will be better because you will be more interesting to them. Don't worry about messing things up - just do things.  

Answer 2

Set yourself a massive goal and try your best to archive it.

Answer 3

Hi Sarah, let's start at the beginning, and the beginning here is that you have little or no self esteem and the same applies to your self confidence.

You have to get some belief in yourself, because if you don't then you will achieve nothing.

I can't give you that belief, nobody can, but yourself, and until you start thinking positively about yourself, and get out of this rut, nothing will improve.

What you need is a giant kick up the butt, and instead of feeling sorry for yourself do something about it. It's easy enough to wash a few pots, tidy up, do the hoovering, put some washing in, they are all 2 minute jobs.

If I was your parent or guardian or whatever, I would be taking the plug off the comp so that you actually had to do something to earn time on the p.c. and it would be time in proportion to what you had done.

You say you love sports, but can't be bothered to get in a club. Who needs a club? There are plenty of sports you can do solo, or even with a few friends. That excuse is a waste of time.

Relationships. These things, to be worth while, need give and take from both sides. Why are you scared, because of the commitment, or because all you have heard about guys is bad.

Not every guy is wanting to get straight into your pants, I admit some do, but there are also quite a few decent lads about. Love, that is something that comes through time, and needs working on. You don't just love someone, it's the special things about them, their personality and sense of humour, how they make you feel, and when you think about them, even if they are not there. These things don't come overnight, they need time to build up.

Your age means nothing, people younger than you are doing all sorts of stuff, some even caring for sick parents and brothers and sisters.

Get up off your butt, set yourself a target, not something impossible, but not something very easy either, and go for it.

You can achieve 90% of what you want to, if you put the effort and work in. There is usually nobody stopping you, but yourself, and as you work towards it, your confidence will improve, simply because you are proving that you are useful, and worth having around.

Please don't say it's easy for me to say, it isn't, but like you, I was achieveing nothing, until I got my finger out and decided to do something about it.

The sooner you start, the sooner it gets going, good luck,

Mike t.

Answer 4

First of all...You're Not Useless...a positive I can tell right away is that you admit to your shortcomings and you have a desire to change.

I don't want to get too psychoanalytical but you sound a lot like my daughter.  I used to have to push her to do extracurricular activities when she was growing up.  As it turns out she had social anxiety, especially in situations where she might fail or look bad (such as sports); therefore, she would not participate.  In adulthood she turned to alcohol to overcome this social anxiety...not a good choice.  She now is 25 and quit drinking and trying to understand her anxiety.

I suggest talking to a counselor and trying to address these issues because it will likely follow you into adulthood.  Explore the idea that it is more chemical than personal choice...and do something about it.  You deserve to participate in life, so don't cheat yourself out of it.

Remember you have something to offer..

Answer 5

Jeeez.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  You make it sound like it's over for you.  It really isn't.  Wait till you get to college and if you dont find yourself there, you will be more confused than ever.  If you love computers and sports so much, focus on those things.  By focus, I mean FOCUS.  Or try dating a guy you can actually tolerate (or can tolerate you, haha, jk).

Answer 6

Quit worrying about what other people think of you, its not that important. You wont get any confidence in yourself sitting there not doing anything, and don't worry about messing up, people are not perfect and it takes practice to get good at anything.

Answer 7

You're not "useless" and you're not all that unusual, either. A lot of people don't always know what they want to do with their livews when they're young. Sometimes they're just "late bloomers."   The so-called "best and brightest" are really the exception, not the rule...and a lot of those people who folks love to tout as "promising" sometimes fall short of expectations and they turn out to be ordinary, just like everyone else.  Watch the movie "Hope Floats" and you'll see what I mean.

You really shouldn't just "give up" on trying though.  The point of your teens, 20s and even to a certain extent, your 30s is to try on many different hats and find what's the right fit for you.  Even after age 30, we can still grow and develop and expand our horizons, too.  I do it all the time and I'm 47.

Besides, no one gets it right the first time, every time...and people have had many times when they made mistakes before they found what worked for them.

Maybe you can get yourself into some short-term counseling to help you get the skills to re-gain confidence in yourself.  If you can't afford a private counselor, then contact your school or the county dept of health and ask about counseling services that may be provided on a sliding scale. I did this for my daughter when she was having problems with self-esteem at that age...and it made all the difference in the world.

Answer 8

Join some clubs. Socialize with different people + see which group of people you click with best.  

Answer 9

Hey, I really think you should volunteer. Its like taking time off. Take a break from school and sign up for everything. Go out and try some different kind of food. Go get a makeover, you will feel great about yourself. Relationships worry you? Thats alright, who needs 'relationships'. When you find yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin, people will see it, believe it or not. Just dont 'expect' things for anyone or anything, just go with the flow, and you will find many little surprises that will make you happy. Remember, you aren't alone, you just have to open up more and you will see many people going through these things.

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