How do I gain confidence?

Question

I am a very shy girl in her late teens and I have very low self esteem. I need to pick myself up and get over it and gain confidence. Can you help me? How did you gain confidence?

Thanks for answer and serious answers only.

Answer 1

i feel for u i need the same help hopefully this question will be answered and then it will be alright  =)

Answer 2

I used to be so introverted that I couldn't speak until spoken to even if it was important. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't say hi or even make eye contact. Even if I did know you and I came into a room to tell you something I couldn't interrupt your conversation with someone else. I would have to stand there and wait for my presence to be acknowledged. I learned very well how to read people because I was the quiet one in the corner watching and listening to everyone, the one who no one noticed.

It was particularly stressful when I was on a job and had to make rounds with the oncoming shift and they noticed that I had this problem. They would stand there talking, making sure not to look in my direction for sometimes 20 minutes. I was tired and needed to go home. I hated being like that. It made it worse that one woman would say, "What's wrong with you? Why are you just standing there?"

Sometimes when someone asked how I was, I couldn't answer because I didn't know what to say. I was fine before they spoke and then the question brought forth a multitude of thoughts in my mind. "What should I say? What are they looking for? What would be the wrong thing to say? Do they really want to know or are they just being nice?"

It was torture! If I ever got angry I would bottle it all up until I blew up about something small and then I would be so angry that it took everything out of me. I would usually have to go to sleep for awhile afterwards.

Well, fortunately, I had a friend who I became close to and she was such an extravert that she kinda brought me out of myself. That's the best way I can inturpret what happened. I didn't become a different person I just learned that I was just as smart, sometimes smarter, than those around me. I didn't have as much difficulty with one-on-one conversations.

So, I built up my confidence by sharing my own experiences with a person here and there who kept telling me that I'm a true friend, I didn't judge people, I'm faithful and a good listener. I found out I can and have made a difference in someone's life. I am important and what I have to say is important. I should not fear what others think of me, as long as I do what I know I should do and what I can do, no one's opinion matters because I can't change them. I am responsible for myself, therefore, no one can make me lose my cool either. I chose to respond how I know I should and how would best help the situation.

I hope my experiences have been a blessing to you as well.  

Answer 3

Dont try to act confident because it just comes off as being cocky or overconfident.

confidence comes with believing in yourself.

Dont think little of yourself and dont worry to much of what other people think...they will only bring you down, no one is perfect.

Shy people just need to bring themselves out a bit and get involved.

Ok well i hoped ive helped and best of luck!!

Answer 4

There really isn't an answer for this, because honestly, if you want to gain self-confidence you are going to have to do it yourself. No one else can tell you how to do it, this is your journey, and your journey alone. Part of being self-confident, is striking out on your own without fear... you can't let yourself be lead into this, how can you gain self-confidence if you let go of your control and place trust of your psychological being in someone else's hands.