How do I handle this???

Question

Im 23, and have a 3 year old child. I still live at home with my parents since they been supporting me when I finished school and just got a job. Im saving money to move out. Well I work about 1 hour away, get up at 4am and get home at 6pm.. my ex-girlfriend has custody of our son, and with my work hours Monday to Friday I don't see him a lot during the week, and usually my mom will have him on weekends, well there are times I want to go out on the weekend about 7pm when he's just laying down and have some kind of life, I do NOTHING on the work week, too tired. Well I told her I wanted to go out about 7pm.. and she must have had a stressful day and comes at me with, "you totally ignore your son!" and "whats so important you have to go out instead of see him?" When I offered to see him most of the day but she took him out to the beach, I offered to have him all day and of course tommorrow.. and just wanna go out for a while tonight and she made ugly remarks.

Answer 1

It sucks being young and trying to take care of a little and trying to have some sort of life.But maybe your mom did have a bad day.The thing is maybe you can try to find a job a little closer or get a better visitation schedule.The thing is witht the little time you do see your kido is the time you get with him.The only way to get a life and be super parent is change your schedule.I was a single mom and god it was hard to have a life.I regret sometimes though when I got a sitter.My son is now 5 and its funny because lastnight for example I could have gone out but instead he and I rented movies and had pizza my friend came by to hang out but we just mommy and son night. I am sorry I know exactly where you are coming from.But I dont know where you live but maybe you can get a better job closer or something that will help you out. Good luck and keep your head up

Answer 2

no, and yes

Answer 3

When you have a child the world stops being about you and starts being about the person you chose to bring into this world. You are lucky your parents are willing to help you out as much as they have. I don't understand why you wouldn't want to spend as much time as possible with your child, especially when you don't have him all the time. My BF's ex does that when she has their little boy (who we have all the time too.) To me its selfishness and irresponsibility. This is your new life. If you are not happy with that than too bad. You should have thought about that earlier. You have all week to have "your life."

Answer 4

You should be there. What if he wakes up and wants you? You can "have a life" once you are out of school and others aren't helping you. Your son is more important.

Why not try to have a life when he is doing things like going to the beach with your mom?

Answer 5

Your mom was probably having a bad day. What was so important that you couldn't see your son? I know you probably want to thump me for asking that. They're only little for so long and will reach a stage when it's not cool to hang out with mom or dad. You don't want his childhood to fly by and realize later you wish you were there more.

Maybe if it's going out with your friends you can do it later. What really happens anywhere before 9pm anyway? Could you go out every second weekend?

I also want to add that I do think it's good you got your sh*t together, in the aspect that you are working and going to school. That's a helluva lot more than a lot of my friends who are single moms have.

Answer 6

When I first met my husband, he had shared parenting of his 2yr old boy, Thursday 6pm - Sunday 6pm.  We never did any thing that didn't involve bringing a kid along.  He wanted to spend every moment w/ him.  I knew then because of the commitment he had of being a good father he would have the same as a husband.  I married him and now we have full custody and the little boy is almost five.  You can have a life, just one that will involve the person YOU choose to bring into this world.