How do you deal with jelousy?

Question

it might sound weird but i can really stand my boyfriends daughter(the worst thing is that she has never done anything to me, but i feel weird about her like jealous) shes just 8 years old, and her parents are not even there her mom is crazy so shes being raise by her grandparents don't ask me why my boyfriend its not taking care cause its a long story, but the problem its me, sometimes i do feel sorry for this little girl but sometimes i feel like i wish she shouldn't be there( i don't know whats wrong with me, i love my boyfriend , he loves me very much and i don't think i should act like this toward his kid, what can i do??? its like i have two persona's one tell me get close but the other one doesn't let me, I'm confuse?

Answer 1

At least you are admitting this to yourself and are brave enough to get other peoples' opinions.  I have a kinda/sorta similar situation and at first I was really putting the pressure on my boyfriend and kind of hating on his kids, but last week I had a major awakening.  I was like, am I seriously competing with an 8 year old?  I am a thirty year old woman and if someone needs to be the bigger person, it will obviously have to be me!  Easier said than done, but try to have compassion for the kid rather than resentment.  Her mom is messed up and all she really has as far as a father figure is your boyfriend.  Her own mother probably didn't have a good role model which is probably how she got herself into trouble, so you being the big person can help end the cycle.  Good luck!