How do you rationalise this?

Question

How do you deal with this?

How do I move on after girlfriend nearly cheated?

I have a very attractive girlfriend of ten months. About four months ago, I grew suspicious about her behavior and found out (she admitted) that she very nearly met a pilot for lunch. She admitted it when confronted and could not provide an acceptable excuse.

She cried and begged a second chance but I find it so difficult to trust her again. She still works in the industry and comes into contact with pilots everyday. She said they were just friends, but she never told me about him. Yes she didn't meet him but the deceit was there.

I want to move on but cant forget. She begged forgiveness and agreed to destroy this and her ex-boyfriends phone numbers. I found them hidden six weeks later. She was mortified and agreed she is lucky I stayed with her. I pay for nearly everything as her family don't have much money. Want to be happy with her but got so many issues now. Will this re-occur? Is she after status?

Any thoughts?

Answer 1

She's not ready for a committed relationship.  And you won't last if you don't trust her.  Right now you don't, so you need to be single until you can trust again (whether her or someone else).

Answer 2

She's a tramp. Get some self-respect. Wish her the best of luck with the pilot and move on.

And feel sorry for the pilot, and chuckle evilly at how narrowly you got away, and what bad luck awaits him.

Ta-da!

Answer 3

if you cant trust her then ditch her!

relationship is built on trust which you just lost for her. has she tried to regain her trust back? maybe you should think about that!  

Answer 4

Ahh wow, I was liek you are a bigger man then me, adn then you wrote the status part..

She's after the status, move on, be gone with her..

Look here's the facts you either let it go on what she did....

or you break up with her, if that piece of deciet she did is still hanging over your head everytime she goes out/goes to work, then its time to move on.

Answer 5

It's sad but it probably will occur again.  Not that she doesn't care about you, but it sounds like she still has some growing up to do; like she is not quite comfortable with total commitment.  If you've got the guts, it might be worth it to stick it out with her... you have to trust her but still prepare for the worst.  If you accuse her or let her feel like she doesn't have your complete trust she will cheat anyway... hope this helps

Answer 6

Going after the status or not doesn’t matter. Being an attractive woman, they know they can have options. While some may hold on to the man who loves her dearly, some would keep that man as back up and continue to keep her options open. I think you are the 'back up' in this situation. Unless you are willing to wait for her to settle her heart, you two cannot have a meaningful relationship together.  

Answer 7

leave her n run!!!!!!! she is obviously using u for the money u provide to take care of her needs, seriously, she is using u... move on. if she loved u SHE WOULD NEVER EVER LIE OR GO BEHIND UR BAK.... im a girl in love, and i would die b4 i deciet my man. thats love, oh, and even b4 i loved him i still never did,or would,its the principle of a relationship. find sum1 else, sum1 who loves u and respects u, good luck, i hope u do the rite thing. p.s.she will do it agen

Answer 8

The only way you can make this work is if you go to counseling together and separately if the counselor recommends it.  If she has been keeping things from you then something is wrong on her side.  I understand why you don't trust her and counseling may help show whether she is deserving of your trust.