How does adoption work?`?

Question

alright heres the scenerio. my friend has a 1year old kid and she is reaqlly strugling with bills and all that she is 17 and her and her boyfriend have decided that they want to give the baby to her aunt, and her aunt agreed. so what happened is they want no record of them being the babys parents so the kid can have a better life. so when they adopt the kid how does the paperwork work? like does the kid have the same birth certificate, what if her aunt wants to change the baby's name does he get a new birthcertificate? basically i wanna know if there will be record of my friend and her boyfriend being the real poarents? thanks i really appreciate you guy's serious answers ur all a big help

Answer 1

There will be a new birth certificate issued.

I wouldn't suggest changing the first name, since the child probably knows it by now.  The last name can probably be changed with little impact.

There will be records, but they will be sealed.  It will take court action to get them opened up.  The child will probably not remember anything that has happened so far.  He will probably accept the adoptive parents as his own.

Answer 2

When an adoption is finalized, there is a new birth certificate issued that shows the adoptive parents as though they were the natural parents, and the child's new name.

I do wonder, though, why everyone wants to be dishonest with the child.  It backfires in the long run, because they always find out.  There are loads of "late discovery adoptees."  They normally have to deal with a lot of issues after finding out.  

Why would your friend and her boyfriend want to lie to their own child?  As an adoptee who is friends with LOTS of other adoptees, I will tell you that dishonesty is definitely the wrong way to go.  It really is toxic and unfair to the adopted person.

EDIT:

I forgot to mention this, and noticed that Andraya posted it below.  The original birth certificate, with the child's original name an the natural parents' names, is kept.  In some states, it's as simple as the adopted person walking into vital records and asking for it.  Even in states that seal these records, adoptees can still access these via a court order.  There are various laws, but the bottom line is that the truth is not erased.

Again, lies are toxic.

Answer 3

If the child is already one year old, I would highly discourage changing the child's name.  The child is already learning what his/her name is and it would be very traumatic to change it at this point.  However, once the adoption is finalized, a new birth certificate is issued, so it "is" possible to do, but I would not recommend it at this age.

I think it's sad that your friends do not want any record of themselves as the parents.  I know that they are probably scared and confused, but to deny an adoptee that information is selfish and unfair to the adoptee.  I can imagine it is probably more difficult in a family situation where the parents may see the child more often but I still think it is not fair to the adoptee to deny them that information.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Answer 4

This is very sad.

Yes, in the U.S. once and adoption is finalized the child will be issued an amended birth certificate listing the adoptive parents as the parents.

Secrets and lies will come to no good in the end though  This child deserves his name.  He deserves to know the truth.

Answer 5

LaurieJ & Andraya have done a great job answering your questions.  

A child's life won't be made better by not knowing of his or her adoption.  In fact, finding out (about the adoption) later is much more damaging.  I grew up knowing that I was adopted. It really was no big deal to me as a kid.  

There is NO WAY your friends can erase the record of them being the baby's parents FROM THEIR OWN HEARTS.

A new birth certificate is issued regardless of whether the child's (first &/or middle) name is changed or not, although the child's last name will change.  At a year old, I hope the aunt would consider the child's feelings before changing his or her name.  She's not adopting a PET!

My adopted parents allowed me to keep my name when they adopted me, for which I am grateful.  

As a former "teen" mom, I can assure your friend that the struggles she is going through are temporary.  Adoption is a permanent solution to what is often a temporary situation.  Within a couple of years, she'll be in a better financial situation.  Life has a tendency of smoothing out.  I hope she gets all the available counseling and social services (support) available to her before she makes the final decision.  

Check out  the following website for more information:

http://www.cubirthparents.org/

Good luck to her & her baby.

Answer 6

Ok first of all this child has a name and by one he or she is well aware of what it is. To change it now would be so confusing and cruel.

From what you have said I can't help but get the impression that your friends think that adoption will rid them of a situation. It won't. They will still be parents, only after adoption they will be parents only in their hearts with nothing but emptiness to show for it. I hate to sound cold but trust me I know what I am talking about. My son was adopted at 3, he lived with me until he was almost 2. You do not just forget about a child you have spent a year or two raising. It doesn't happen no matter what you may be told.

There will be a record of them being parents. When they left the hospital the record of the child's birth was sent to vital statistics. Most adoptions now are "open" and since it would be a family member adopting the child there is no way to be anonymous. The only way that could be done would be to lie to the child about their adoption and trust me that is a horrid idea. Think how you would feel if suddenly your parents, an aunt or uncle, grandparent or cousin announced that you were adopted. These things rarely stay total secrets and being dishonest to someone about something as important as who they are is unthinkable.