How is this poem ?

Question

Running, jumping, gliding,

Through the trees.

Twirling , swirling, gently

Against the leaves.

Laughing, whispering secrets

Me and my friend , the breeze.

what do you think of it? how can I improve my poem?

Answer 1

Your poem is good but needs a little correction

Running, jumping, gliding,

Through the trees.

Twirling , swirling, gently

Against the leaves.

Laughing, whispering secrets with ease

Me and my friend , running with the breeze.

Answer 2

Pert and cute, the last line was the frosting! Kudos! A joyful

read, Neat for a child's poem , yet we can all relate to it,

Makes me feel Young!

Answer 3

I liked it. You could have something more about the trees or the time of year. You could have more sensory detail like the feel or smell. Overall it is a solid poem with a lot of potential to be better

Answer 4

Perfect! i really like short poems! this is perfect! you leave just enough things unanswered to allow us to use our imaginations and feel like we're in the poem!

Answer 5

I like it. It's a nice rhythm. How can you improve it?

Add an adjective before trees and leaves. Like:

Running, jumping, gliding,

Through the endless trees.

Twirling , swirling, gently

Against the  dainty leaves.

Laughing, whispering secrets

Me and my friend , the breeze.

I would say add something before the breeze, but that'll ruin your originality. Good job! Please look at my poem, and honestly answer what you think of it!

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