How many times is too many?

Question

If you met someone that you were interested in dating how many previous marriages is too many for them to have had? At what point would you see a red flag, 2, 3? Or how many?

Answer 1

1 is a red flag proceed with caution.2 tells me not only are they bad at picking a mate, but THEY have some serious character flaws.Talk to their  exes and see what THEY have to say about this person.

Answer 2

If they've had more than 2 marriages it wouldn't stop me from dating them but I most likely wouldn't tie the not. Maybe marriage just isn't something they're good at.

Its hard to say. I'm sure there are many couples who found a great match their 3rd time around or more. Its more a personal thing for me. I wouldn't judge someone for multiple divorces. There are hundreds of reasons for divorce. Although I might judge someone that blames all their divorces on all their exes and doesn't take any blame. That's always a bad sign.

Answer 3

apparently, and i just learned this when i was 26 years of age, my father had been married 3 times before meeting my mother.. i knew once, but 3, i had no idea.. the marriages didnt last very long and he was a severe alsoholic then.... but, for the last 27 years of my life, he has been a wonderful father, recovered alcoholic, and he and my mom have been married for 28 years this december... so, i think it all depends on the person, the situation in which they got divorced, and what kind of baggage they carry over from so many failed attempts

Answer 4

I don't know that you can categorically state what is "too many" in one lifetime.  I have a good friend who married a guy 19 years her senior who'd been married 3 times - she was the fourth.  They were very happy and very much in love for 25 years till he died...My Uncle was married 6 times - twice to wife number 2.  He married wife 6 at 60 years of age and they ADORED one another for 25 years.  He said many a time how many poor choices he had made in marriage - until he found the one that took his breath away...and believe me, she did!

I suppose you could say if someone had a less than 5 years ave. for marriages and been married over half a dozen times, that's be a BIG "red flag".  But this is no exact science...people do repeat patterns and mistakes -often, until they GET it...sad but all too often, true.

Sincerely,

Grace

Answer 5

For me it would depend on how old the person is.  If they are say 30 and have been divorced 2 times, it would be a red flag for me.  If they are in their 40s and divorced 2 times, it wouldn't be as bad.  

Answer 6

I don't think the number of marriages says anything.  Some people are just not meant to be.  Keep trying until you finally find the right person.

Answer 7

There isn't a set number...I am sorry to say. What you really need to do is date this person go slow very slow do not jump into anything and find out if you are major-like compatible. That is going to tell ya a lot. They might not of checked the person out all the way to find after they were married that they were not a good match. This person you want to date might have jumped into a marriage thing way too fast and that might be the only thing they are guilty off. Time will solve the situation if you have patience.  

Answer 8

Good question. I would start doing some serious thinking about someone who had already been married twice. Especial if they seemed eager to get married again.

Answer 9

It really depends on the situation...I think most of us should take extra care and do some deep research if they have been divorced twice.  However, much to my surprise I have known several people who have been divorced 3 times or more, and in most cases they have truly been "unlucky in love".  Remember Ross on "Friends" - "thrice divorced"?  Infidelity is often a cause of divorce, and frankly there's not much you can do about that...hard to keep a marriage together if your spouse cheats on you.  Hindsight is 20/20, and we can all say after our failed marriages that there were red flags, but the bottom line is that all marriages have them...but which ones are problematic?  No one is perfect, we all have flaws and baggage, so you'll just need to explore and figure out what flaws and baggage you can or can't live with.

Answer 10

For me, 2 previous marriages is way too many. But third time is charm =)

Answer 11

Good question.  I think it would depend on the person, and why they'd been married multiple times.  Also, how LONG were they married each time?  Then there's the factor of, have they had any other serious relationships between the marriages, and how long were they?  I guess what I'm looking at here is, does this person have a problem with commitment, or is it something else?  Does this person have no issues COMMITTING, but when the relationship hits a stumbling block, do they turn tail and run?  Because to me, if they've been married 4-5 times, and their first marriage was at 18, they were married for a year, and it was annulled because they were simply too young, and it didn't work, that's fine.  Then they remarried at 22, were married for 3 years, and it ended because their spouse was killed, and then they remarried two years later, and then divorced a year later because that spouse was cheating on them, and remarried a year later only to have that spouse come out as homosexual, I'd be ok with them.  Worried about their choice in partners, but ok with them.  LOL (Oh, and for the record, that's four marriages)  Would I take this all at face value?  Probably not.