How should i react to this?

Question

We agreed to have my sis over thinking we'd have a family around and she wanted to look for a job oppt too. but instead we were doing all the running abt while she kept messing abt. We tried talking to her n advicing her, which obviously went over her head. She took no heat to that at all. She told us that she was bored and didn't think whatever she did would effect us.On the other hand the phone bills went sky high as she kept hangging on the phone behind our backs while we're out to work. She's now gone home as the job that she's got will only start in late this yr. Now she's been home for over 7 mths and she's not once called us without being told to. She is 25. Whenever i called she is out. I told my parents abt what all we had to deal with while she was here but they inturn have turn a cold shoulder on us. And are still insisting that they want her to come back n stay with us. How can i let this junk stay in my house when she finds it diff to keep in touch with me? after all the struggling n effort we put into her she prooved herself as a real ungreatful person. when i complained to dad 2 days back, all of a sudden she sends me an email a very formal one. I was very pissed off...she starts in soon n till todate she hasn;t called us or even book her tickets we're no charity organisation to let anyone come n go as they please. I replied and she forwards the email to her best friend. thats just how much bonding she's got with me(sis). She didn;t reply. in my mail expressed all my feelings n thoughts abt her. Despite all this my parents still refuse to understand that she;s just trouble and they should just keep her there. Instead they're also starting to ignore us and finding alternative route's for her to come work n live here, behind my back. How can they do that? Am also their blood as much as she is. How do i handle this. Please help.

Answer 1

Just grow  a backbone and tell them  they can make as many plans they want, but she isn't welcome. Tell them the door won't be answered.  

She is their daughter, so they can care for her. You have your own life to worry about.

Answer 2

Just tell them no and if she shows up at your door, just shut it and tell her to leave. You can not be forced to let someone live with you if you don't want them to unless you let people force you. Set your foot down and tell your parents that ignoring you will not change the fact that she is not welcome.

Answer 3

Simple solution. At age 25 your sister is old enought to live on her own. Just tell her and your family that you are not in the position and mood to deal with her, and that she has to learn to live her own life. In the long run she will be greatful you did it.

I don't think its your responsability to take care of your grown up sister.There's nothing wrong with helping out once in a while your siblings, but its wrong to sustain them if they can do it perfectly by themselfs.

Answer 4

Sorry I really wanted to answer your question but i was loosing the will to live half way thru reading it........sorry

Answer 5

Your obviously a grown women tell your parents that she's a pain in the *** and that you won't have the ungrateful b*tch to stay with you until she proved that she has grown up and is no longer a spoilt little tw*t.

If your parents can't handle the truth and choose to give you the cold shoulder for a while then so be it as soon as you start acting like an adult who can make her own decision and does not need her parents approval of everything then the more you won't give a cr*p what they think!

Answer 6

That's great. Let your parents find alternative routes for your sister and her "career". That is a lot better for you and your family. Does your sis pay rent when she stays with you guys? If your parents and sis can careless about you, why should you care any more for them? Things fade within time, so within the next few months, don't contact them. They'll eventually call you and see how things are going.

Answer 7

You handle this with assertiveness and dignity,Poppet.

You are right you too are blood,however that does not mean you have to take any cr*p from your Family.

At your sisters age,she is old enough to stand on her own two feet and go it alone.

If your Parents are unable to accept this,then that is their problem, Not Yours.

You have made a Life for yourself,and this is what you must concentrate on.

So they are treating you with Distance and lack of respect. This surely is Their Loss, not yours.

Take care of yourself and Your Family that are at Home with you. It may seem Harsh,but let your Sister and Parents get on with their mess that between them they have created. You have nothing to feel guilty for,

You offered Help when needed and in return got Zilch.

Stop Worrying Poppet, Life is for Living,Yours is the one you have to Live,so do so for yourself.

God Bless.x  

Answer 8

Your sister is a leech.  Kick her out.  It's call tough love.  She will never learn to stand on her own two feet if you keep doing for her.  I assume she is not a minor and should be responsible for herself and responsible for her actions.  

Don't complain to your dad.  This is between you and your sister.  I know it is hard to stand up to your family, but that is the only way you can get over being a doormat for your sister.  

Tell your sister unless she shows responsibility for herself, she's on her own.  It's amazing how leeches find another poor slob to support them when someone else rejects them.

Good luck.  I know it is not easy to reject family, but it would be for your sister's own good.

Answer 9

wow, what a novel