How to be unthreatening?

Question

A couple months ago my truck tire exploded and left me in a ditch for an hour with no phone and no help while scores of people passed and didn't even slow down.

Now I'm not bitter, stopping to help people is dangerous, can't expect people to just put themselves in harm's way like that, I could be a psycho.

Anyway, so I decided that since I'm single, there's nobody to worry about me, and I'm also not exactly helpless in a fight. I could help broken down people with less risk than a lot of other drivers.

Now I stop and help everyone I see with their hazards on, problem is, they seem scared of me. Now that's just common sense but I do know there're methods to look less threatening, like smiling or whatnot. How do I get people to trust me enough to take some of my gas, or let me take their tire off for them?

And how can I avoid falling victim to nutjobs? I'm tough and I pack, (and can use) a knife that's NOT a boxcutter, but if someone's got a gun I'm pretty much screwed, and i know it.

Answer 1

be nice dont act smart to a nutcase i would of helped you i think it is very bad to not stop but dont get pissed at 18wheelers because it is not legal for them to stop i saw 10 people drive by a 68 year old woman trying to change her tire i stoped to help her she was verry nice pearson i enjoyed talking to her older people have a lot more respect than the youngsters i am 32 she tried to give me all the moneyn in her purse but i turned her down wouldnt take any told her her conversation was enough money is nothing without friends not fun to show off if there is noone there so have respect people and try to help out think of it this way what if you drove right by and the next day you saw a add in the paper lady died of heart atack trying to change tire --it would hurt me so yes i do stop what if

Answer 2

box cutter? knife? now you are scaring me!

Answer 3

They train for certain things like this, such as law enforcement and emergency services to help de-escalate problems etc etc. When you first pull over to help someone, do not automatically smile, it might make you seem a little crazy or might be taken as an insult, like you are making light of the situation which could be serious. Always ask someone if they want or could use help, as well as asking about everyone's well-being, making sure everyone is alright. Watch body language, this is a better way to catch a threat early, ask people to keep hands out of their pockets. If you feel unsafe, dont be afraid to take control in order to help. If someone is making you feel uncomfy, say so and let them know maybe to step to the side of the road, not to get twitchy etc etc. Do not always pull that knife at the first sign of a threat because it will escalate and it will get worse, much faster. Be sure to call state or roadside services first to let them know that there may be someone needing assisstance, this way a law enforcement officer might be dispatched to just drive-by. When you do pull over to help someone, try and put your car 20 feet back with your hazards on as well to alert approaching traffic. Also use the 3 foot rule that LEOs use, always stay 3 feet away from a subject you are making contact with. If they do produce a firearm, run, even zig-zag, there is an extremely low likeliness that a criminal with a firearm actualy has skills with that, most cant even hit a target at point-blank range. You are safer if you get hit in the shoulder or leg than if you stand there and let yourself become a victim. If a police officer or any other LEO approaches the scene, please notify them that you have a knife, do not reach for it, if they feel it is necessary they will disarm you nicely and in a friendly matter, and give you your knife back later. Also be sure to check for little things that might alert you to danger, expired tags on a car, gloves on a subject, dark clothing, scared individuals in the vehicle, ask everyone in the car to see their hands. Try and make small talk, where are you going? where are you from? etc etc, this difuses a dangerous situation or even alerts you to something out of place. Also touch the back of the vehicle such as the trunk or window, hide your keys when you leave your vehicle, this way if you are hurt or they take you while injured, they cannot take your vehicle, it will be suspicious and your handprints are in your car and on the back of the other. This is a method LEOs use. Also have a video or digital camera, self explanatory I hope. If someone is hurt or going crazy, do not automatically turn away and run or attack them, try and talk calmly to them and difuse the situation, and when safe call emergency services, almost like a suicide situation. I hope this helps, I am looking for a career in law enforcement and am an explorer with a law enforcement department. I hope this helps as none of it is confidential and might save your life. Good-luck, we need more people like you.

Answer 4

You answered your own question. In times past, you could stop and help anyone and would be appreciated, but in today's world, you are taking the risk of not only getting shot, but being framed for any number of things that you wouldn't think of doing. And the officers will believe the other persons story over yours. It used to be innocent until proven guilty, but now it is the other way around.

The best and safest help you can give or get, is a call to 911 with the location of the broken down vehicle. Who knows, it may be a trap and not somebody in need.

Answer 5

I would definitely try smiling.  You want to approach people without looking like a psycho.  Most people want to be helped, but feel safe at the same time.  You have to come across that way.  Best way would be smiling, and just asking if they can use a hand.  If they decline go about your business and don't sweat it, at least you tried.  People will let you know one way or another.  BTW, lose the knife.  Stabbing someone, even in self defense, is not worth the risk of carrying one.  Next thing you know, you'll be the one carrying a gun.  Pepper stray does the trick and you don't have to worry about the potential death of someone on your conscience.  Stay safe!

Answer 6

Call the police on your cellular phone. Make sure that they see you calling!

Answer 7

first off, i admire you for stopping for people like that. kudos. as to your problem, i do not think it is because or you appearance. i think it has more to do with the publics perception of "good samaritans" such as yourself. i think it is becasue in today's society, good samaritans are pretty rare and media has not helped their cause. you got movies about people having car trouble and some guy helping them out only to turn out to be a bad guy.

if i were in your shoes, i would stop, get out of my truck and ask them what their car needs. if they don't want your help, do not be offended. it's just the way things are nowadays.  sometimes the best help you can give them is to let them use your cellphone.

as for nutjobs, first and foremost, never stop for more than 1 male. if there are 2 or 3 guys, forget it. and if you do give someone a lift make sure that you take a route that is very well lit, and there are a lot of people. try not to stray off the main road and try to pass where you know cops patrol. if you pick someone up and are suspicious of them, make a quick stop at a gas station, excuse yourself to go to the john and call for help. the most important part is saving yourself. you can always get another truck or whatever.