How to hold it all together??

Question

I am a working mother. I have three children ages 6,7, and 8. I commute 30 miles each way, and work from 6:30am to 3:30pm. My evening commute often does not allow for me to arrive home until almost 6pm. In the two hours before bed I must feed them, check homework, bathe them, and TRY to have some kind of quality time. My question is how do other parents hold it together? They all seem so calm and in control. I'm sure it is not all white picket fences, but they don't seem as frazzled as I am. My husband works full time, but is studying to advance his career. He is often not home during "Grand Central Station" time (6-8pm) and I am frazzled trying to do it all. There are no local teenagers that I know or trust to hire.Times are so crazy that I am leery about bringing strangers in. Ideas? Suggestions? Help...I know organization is key, and I try, I just don't have TIME. I use my travel time to make calls, etc. What else can I do? My 15 year old stepson is my only lifesaver!

Answer 1

if i lknew you i would be willing to help but chances are you live a billion miles away from me & i wouldnt take the chance orf predators etc .  But i give kudos to my mom because she is taking care of 4 kids at the moment (used to be 6 until 2 moved out) she did and still works two jobs (first job from 7am - 3pm   then second job from 6pm to 6am next morning .) She gets about 5 hours or less of time home. yeah it sucks. i hate seeing her struggle. yet she still tries to make dinner or leave it prepared so we can make it. and still maintains her sanity!

Answer 2

I would not suggest craigslist at all..BAD IDEA

Do you have any family or close friends that could help?

How about you working only part time and your husband staying full time.

Who watches the kid's from after school until you get home?

Answer 3

Here are some ideas that might work for you:

I put my daughter in the bath when I get home from work and make dinner while she is playing. She is old enough to be safe while I get things going. Do your kids each need a bath every night?  Maybe they could just jump in and rinse off on certain nights and save the scrubbing and hair washing for every 2-3 days.

Also it might help to make dinner the night before and just warm it up when you get home. You could make dinner after the kids go to bed. You could also cook several meals on the weekends and warm them up during the week.

I work 10 hour days 5 days a week and my husband is rarely home during Grand Central Station time either.  I have a 4-year old and a 10 month old.  Some nights she eats cheese and crackers while I cook dinner and feed the baby. Then I put both of them to bed and make dinner for myself and my husband.  It is crazy!! You are definitely not the only one!

Answer 4

On sunday when you are off make up simple casseroles and freeze them for the week, when you get home just put one in the oven and that will free up time for homework.  While the 8 yo is in the tub work with the other 2 on homework and then help the oldest.  No matter what is going on eat at the table and use that time to catch up with them and see what is going on.  They are all old enough to start pitching in around the house as well give them all simple chores to do  to free up some time.  Have them help set the table and talk while they do it, or let them talk while you go through the mail.  Little things can save a lot of time.

Answer 5

gosh you are a busy mommy! well there is good news, your husband wont be studying for forever so he'll eventually be done and can help you so youre not doing everything for the rest of your life. you dont have any family members near by? have you thought about moving closer to work or closer to family members or even trying a new career. but i know sometimes that just out of the question and that is understandable. i would at least talk to your kids and make it very clear to them that you hate being away so much and not having a lot of time with them and that you will make it up to them one day (if u can). try to plan a family vacation (husband goes too!) and leave ALL work stuff at work. dont bring it with you. it's family time and make it the best time yall have together so they remember what it's like to be a part of a family, not just busy people that only see their parents a few hours a day. also maybe explain your situation to your boss and see if there is any way u could see your family more (WITHOUT getting fired!) good luck girl

Answer 6

That sounds so difficult- I totally understand that you would feel frazzled and exhausted from keeping up with so much!  Reaching out for support is key.  Accept help when offered to you and don't be afraid to ask for help.  A lot of moms turn to online communities for support to.  I'm on one called ParentsConnect that has a great community of parents that can give great advice, or just support and an ear when you need it.  Good luck!!!

Answer 7

well am 14 and i love kids but what u  sould do is get a  nanny or something wish i could help bye :-)

Answer 8

Go to craigslist and see if you can find a pool of other Moms where you can try to rotate out watching the kids.  I'm sure there are some Moms out there that have to work on the weekend.  So maybe she could pull her kids and your's together after school a few nights a week (make dinner for them all, etc.) and maybe you could do the same for her on the weekend.

Or you could cut your hours to part-time.

Or see if you have any extended family that can help, like your parents or your husband's parents.

Do you and your husband really need 2 jobs?  If it means cutting back on your lifestyle, it might be worth it.

Answer 9

I hear you. My husband and I work opposite shifts and he usually walks in the door at bedtime. Here's my coping strategies.

Make dinner in the crock-pot the night before -- refrigerate it overnight and get your husband to take it out, plug it in and turn it on before he goes to work.

My older kid (also 8) helps the younger ones with homework and then I check it over and check his over, too. It's okay for siblings to help each other.

I recently started bathing the two girls together, even though they are too big for it. There was just no other way during the school year. Also, I bathe them every other day -- girls one night, boy the next.

During dinner, I ask them each about their day, who they ate lunch with, who had something funny happen and so on.

I read to my daughters when they are in the tub to save time later.

I let them all stay up a little later than they should. I try to have them in bed at 8:30 but it's usually 8:45 or 9 -- they do stall until Daddy comes home.

We do fun stuff on the weekends for quality time.

I throw a load of laundry in the washer every morning before i go to work. After supper, I move it into the dryer and start another load if need be. Then when the kids are in bed, I sit down and fold it. The folded clothes stay in the basket until the next day. When we get home from school/work, the kids hang up their school stuff and take the clothes up to put them away before they change out of their uniforms. Then they do homework while I get dinner on the table.

I have dust bunnies in my corners but that's okay.

Answer 10

i dont think everyone else has it all together as it seems!

I can totally understand where you are coming from..I also have 3 kids and work full time..12 hr shifts, my SO also must work,  so it makes for a hectic life. While i dont have much of a solution, i can offer that you are not alone! i get frazzled, frustrated, tired , but i just keep on truckin!  i just think about the future and how it wont always be like this, they will s****. older and wont need as much of my help. and ill probably miss giving them baths, doing homework w/them ..rocking the baby etc.

hang in there