How would you feel? [open!]

Question

my aunt is constantly getting into accidents and my dad is the one who pays for all the repairs and stuff for her car.

her husband past away 3 years ago and ever since then anything that happens to her or with her we have to deal with it.

my family hasnt been on vacation for about 3 years, we just lost our house and can barely afford our utility bills in our appartment and she thinks we're rich and we have to cover all her finances.

just this weekend she went to lake tahoe for about 4 days, gambled and what not and came back with a ruined car, left it here for us to fix and took our car back to her house, now my dad has to pay who knows what amount to get it fixed.

shes at our house about 5 days out of the week with her nasty dog that sheds hair every day of the year.

and shes always making my mom drive her places, like stores and stuff.

how would you feel?

or what would you do if you had an aunt like this?

Answer 1

write her a letter tell her how you feel

Answer 2

What an awful situation your dad has gotten himself into. He should not feel obligated to care for his grown adult sister.

Yes, it is sad that she lost her spouse but your family has been beyond generous and she is abusing it.

Can you share your thoughts & feelings with your parents?

Answer 3

I would tell her that I was sorry that happened to her, but... That's what insurance is for, and if it doesn't cover it, than I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do. I hate freeloaders like that, especially when it's in the family. They are so oblivious to other people's financial needs.

Answer 4

This is not fare at all to your family

Answer 5

yall all need to talk and tell her how yall feel. tell her she need to get her own money to pay for what she needs done. i would not fix her car or pay for whateva gotta be done

Answer 6

Hi there,

You don't say how old your aunt is but I assume she's not old and in need of care from what you say about the driving and gambling.  Does she have any personal problems which make your family feel they have to support her? (such as going through divorce, addictions etc.)

If there are no problems in her life I don't understand why your family are putting up with it! She's completely disrespecting you and obviously knows she can get away with it.  

If I was your parents I would sit down together with her and firmly explain she is too involved in your lives and you need to set down some ground rules (such as she can only call your mum up so many times a week or in an emergency).  Also say if she uses your vehicle like that again without paying for repairs you will cut her off!  I think you have to get tough with her.

Answer 7

That would p**s me off. But you can't do a whole lot about it cos it's up to your parents. I'd just keep my **** tight and leave as soon as college or something is a possibility. Don't ruin your relationship with your parents over this..they know what they are doing.

Answer 8

mmmmhhhmmm..

well i would tell your parents how u feel and tell ur aunt that your not rich.. tell her how u feel. cause i would hate it too..

but see i had a uncle that has 2 kids and a wife. and he would wreck stuff adn he was very unhealthy adn my family paid all the bills for them.

but see he passed away last year at 42.. so atleast we did what we could.

but yea tell your aunt and your parents how u feel . and that she is not there responsibility  

Answer 9

Why not send her a small note stating what you said  only nicely and tell her she needs to know this and helping her is a joy, even though its not. But that financially its taken such a tole . You don't want to tell her anything negative about herself that won't get you anywhere. Just the facts about the family finances and that your parents are ashamed to tell her. Ask her for her advice they love it too............

Answer 10

Have your doctor have her commit to a nursing home. <}:-})

Answer 11

Have a large family meeting, aunt included.  Take turns everyone saying their feelings and explain what is going on.  Then give your aunt a chance to speak and say what she thinks.  You need to talk it out.  It may be a huge misunderstanding that your aunt needs to know about.  Give it time and hopefully it'll all work out.

Answer 12

thats stupid!!

I wouldnt fix her car..

or let her take mine!!

and uhm..

she should get a job

if she doesnt have one!!

and i would tell your dad

to tell her that he cant

be fixing all her stuff..

and that shes not a little girl!!

Answer 13

i m a true muslim so i would say that god is watching u and judging your patience He knows that she is wrong with u and if u ask Him for help He will help u just wait and be positive i m sure he will help u. and don't even think about hurting her. just think your aunt has been send by god to judge u. annd i will pray to God to help u out. may god bless you. :-)

Answer 14

i would kick her out.

but i wont do that cos i feel sorry for her but i am luky that my dad would throw her away  

Answer 15

it sounds like she is taking advantage of your parents. tell your parents to confront her!! ther is a fine line between needing family help and taking advantage and it sounds like she definatly crossed it

Answer 16

I think it's probably a good idea for your mom to drive your aunt around, it's probably cheaper than fixing a car. This problem has less to do with your Aunt and more to do with your father's need to please/say yes to his sister. She goes to your father because he'll fix her problem. If he didn't do that she wouldn't go to him. She visiting your parents' house because someone is letting her in and stay. Your father and aunt should be more responsible with their money. Your father shouldn't help his sister with her car, when he's losing his house.  

Answer 17

i would intensely dislike that aunt, and i would try to convince my parents that she is not their responsibility

Answer 18

don't mean to be disrepectful or anything, but you need to talk to ur parents, (if you think they would understand) and ask them why they keep treating ur aunt like shes a little 5 year old!

i would feel that ur parents can't say no very good!

hope this helps!

Answer 19

Wow, You aunt is using you guys. You should tell your mother or your father about how you feel about this then maybe they'll find a way to fix it. Us, kids dont really have a say in what goes on in  out families.