How would you rate my poem?

Question

I'm bored, so I wrote this. I'm 14, so it may not be too good. Good or bad comments appreciated.

Beautiful blue eyes

Rather impressive thighs

Gorgeous blonde hair

Heart-shaped derrière

Incredibly strong arms

Undeniable charm

Considerable bulge in his pants

Makes me rant

Tasty abdominal muscles

That taste like white truffle

Perfectly chiseled chest

He’s the best

He’s the boy of my dreams

I hope he likes whipped cream

So slender and trim

I long to touch him

I'm a boy, so wanted to know what another boy might think if it were written by their boy/girl friends.

Answer 1

Its impressive, i can easy tell your audience your looking for a blonde guy.

Well on how it is meant to be romantic, i say it is pretty impressive. But you seem kinda young to be writing stuff like that.

Answer 2

ok at first i thought u were a boy but then when you wrote him i was like ok your a girl then you wrote that you were a boy so yea. i would rate it a 10/10!!!!!!!

Answer 3

Try again

Answer 4

its c**p.

Answer 5

Wow, little racy for a fourteen year old. It's an interesting poem. You have opened up to your audience in this poem, which, I think is a hard thing to do. Keep writing and you will develop a stronger style and a stronger sense of rhythm.

Answer 6

i think that it is just ok, for 14 yo boy, whu, i bit sexual at least it is my opinion but thats the way you feel it, poem is about feelings try to give some to another, not just describing outer body... but i really appreciate when young ones are doing something to enhance spiritual part of themselves