Husband cheating with man?

Question

I recently checked my husbands emails and I found some disturbing news. He has been answering personal ads for transsexuals. My husband seems to be interested in men who dress as women. I am so embarrassed. I am filing for divorce but how do I get over the embarrassed feeling. I know I have no control over what he does. But a man?? What did I miss? What did I do wrong?

Answer 1

oooooohhh, sorry. Um, what advice did you want. I can't get rid of embarrassment.  

Answer 2

give him my number: 972-769-9606

I have great advice and i think i can help.

im a professional.

Ask for Reid Yancey

Answer 3

Don't blame yourself and don't be embarrassed.  You are responsible for your behavior and he is responsible for his. You don't need to tell anyone why you are getting divorced.  

Answer 4

this has  nothing to do with u, and the embarrassment is his to own.u did nothing wrong, and its really hard to see these things.

Answer 5

Unfortunately your husband may be finding what is going to make him happy.

You have to do what makes you happy as well, accept, understand and execute.

Good Luck

Answer 6

It's the way he's chosen to live his life, and you've probably done nothing to change the way he's seen. It was a choice he made, and theres not a lot you can do to change it. What I mean to say, is he found a lifestyle he's happy with, and that's not your fault that it's not only with you. He likes men/women, and that's his choice, as weird and embarrassing it may be. There's really nothing to be embarrased about. there are a lot of g*y people in the world, and they can be happy. It's not what you want to hear, but you probably had no business checking his emails. You shouldn't be embarrased, that's selfish. I can see how you're upset, but you didn't do anything wrong. it was his choice, and he might not think it was a bad choice on his part.  

Answer 7

Your husband has a serious problem. And you can't beat yourself up over his decisions nor can you ask yourself how you didn't see it. The best thing to do is turn your embarrassment into motivation to move on and get over the betrayal that you must be feeling. Good luck.

Answer 8

You didn't do anything wrong sugar ,,,,, You just aren't built right for him is all ,,,, There's no need for you to feel embarrassed ,,,, You aren't the one with the problem ,,,, Once he cheated on you he was no longer a part of the marriage ,,,, It doesn't matter which gender he did it with ,,,, A cheat is a cheat ,,,,Marriage is a state of mind not a fact of law ,,,,, You are already divorced ,,,, Filing for it is just a formality that man requires not God ,,,,   //  

Answer 9

TIME TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.JUST MAKE SURE YOU CHECK YOUR SELF TO MAKE SURE HE DIRENT GIVE SOME KIND OF STD THATS VERY SERIOUS GOOD LUCK.

Answer 10

You did not doing anything wrong.  He hid his sexual preference.  Find someone new to be happy with.

Answer 11

maybe he is just exploring some fantasys, fantasys and real life aren't the same

by the way, your a ho for spying on yur husband

Answer 12

You did nothing wrong, his mistake was living a double life behind your back, it's not you AT ALL.  

Answer 13

It is not your fault.  You did nothing wrong.  You don't deserve this.  You have nothing to be embarrassed about.  He should be ashamed of his actions and what he has done to you.

Answer 14

You didn't do nothing wrong, more then likely he has been this way and trying to avoid those feelings all along. I am not sure how you can get over the embarrassing feelings that you have, I would say just look at what you have.  Best of luck to you!!

Answer 15

whoh, i really don't think you could have done anything. It's not ur fault if he has feelings for others except for you. He prolly had them your whole marriage but you didn't find out till now.

Answer 16

Dear, it is not you, your husband has always been interested in men, he tried to hide his feelings, I would bet he even has, had affairs with them.

Divorce him, move on, and someone will come along that would be a man interested in women only.

Don't in anyway blame yourself.

Answer 17

you didn't do anything wrong it's him. he's sick and has a awful problem. you should file for divorce its ok to feel embarrassed. confront him.

Answer 18

You didn't do anything wrong, dear.  What and whom he chooses are his choices, it has nothing to do with you.  You didn't know anything was going on, so you weren't really looking for clues, so you didn't miss anything.  No need to be embarassed by HIS choices.  They were not your choices.  Hold your head high and go on with your life.  He has chosen the life he wants, so be it.  I had to come to those terms when I found my son was g*y.  It's very hard, but you will survive.  I still love my son with all my heart.  His choices were his and his alone.  Don't blame yourself.  I don't.

Answer 19

Why are you taking it as an embarrassment no one's gonna see you bad...it's not your fault he cheated with whoever or whatever...  

Answer 20

Its not you. Many g*y men force themselves to try to live a normal life with a wife and family.

I'm sorry about your situation. Good luck

Answer 21

You did nothing wrong. You are doing the right thing and you have to understand that what other people do has nothing to do with how you feel. Its his baggage so let him carry it.

Answer 22

omgsh I'm so sorry... i sorta laughed when i read it no offense.. its just like wtf.. i feel bad for you ! get a new non g*y man ! You deserve that!

answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 23

don't blame yourself.  he probably had the feelings prior to marriage and thought being married to a woman would change things.  if this is the case, then it was not fair to you.  keep your chin up.  

Answer 24

It's not you it's him.I don't know how you can get over that feeling

Answer 25

You didn't do anything wrong.  He did.  He should never have married....then again, maybe he's just now understanding his sexuality.  In any case, he should have been honest with you.  Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed, it's not your fault.

Answer 26

I don't think you did anything wrong. I think your husbands sounds like a jerk. I'm sorry. :(

Answer 27

You haven't done ANYTHING wrong, your husband did. He should have told you the truth about himself before you married him and not put you threw this h**l.

I can understand how you feel. It would have been easier to find out that he had an affair with a woman, then this.

A lot of transsexuals live in the closet like g**s use to. They put on a good act that they are straight, but secretly live another life.

Don't blame yourself, he was probably a pretty good actor at keeping his secret and had everyone fooled.

I don't know how you can get over the embarrassment. Time usually heals all. Just be glad that you found out the truth about him and you will be free of him soon and can find your self a straight man that can give you a happy normal life.

It's one thing to be g*y and want to be with a man or to be a g*y man who wants to be a woman, so dresses up like a woman. But...to be g*y and attracted to a transsexual!!! Come on make up your mind! Do you want to be with a man or a woman? Your husband is really screwed up and confused. Thank god, you have the good sense to leave him. He's the one who should be embarrassed not you. Maybe he is, because he has been trying to keep the truth about himself a secret.

Answer 28

Just because you found these e-mails doesn't mean that he is actually cheating, all this could be "just" a phantasy (however disturbing it appears to you).  Biologically, I think s*x among males makes sense, because the libido of males versus female is in complete disharmony and only a man can really know what another man would enjoy.  If your libido can't keep up with his (that is why most monogamous marriages do not really survive), he'll be looking somethere else.  That has nothing to do with you, your attractiveness etc.  It's biology as far as I'm concerned, however, it's still painfull for you, I understand that.  

You didn't do anything wrong.  In my humble opinion, Western socities with their emphasis on monogamous marriages etc. are delusional and not adhering to the male's biology.  That is why we have so high divorce/cheating/pedophilia rates (there is no "cheating" in Saudia Arabia)

Answer 29

You should get tested for AIDS. If you are negative, you may catch the disease. No one should have s*x with any man who shoots drugs or has s*x with another man. You must protect yourself before anything else.  

Answer 30

Thats unfortunate he has these urges. Please don't take this personal. However, knowledge is superior to ignorance. How long has this been going on? Your leaving because he is unfaithful or shame? I'm perplexed if he was always interested in transsexuals or if you just didn't satisfy his needs. Your embarrassment comes from your family and friend knowing or your lack of skills/abilities? You may need to see a shrink.

Answer 31

wow cut your ties and move it along

you aint do nothing wrong it is who he has always been it was just hidden and he has finally come to terms with himself

its impossible for you to miss something that he even kept from himself

he married you to try to make himself straight but he is what he is