Husband doesnt seem as interested?

Question

I just had a baby 6 weeks ago. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We've had great s*x, and intimacy until now. Seems like he's just not interested in me the way he use to be. I would think that after having his baby and going through all the pain I went through it would make him appreciate me, and be turned on by the fact that we made a baby together but it doesn't seem that way. It could just be me over thinking things cause I just had a baby 6 weeks ago and I'm feeling a little insecure with my body. I have lost pretty much all my baby weight. I was 133lbs when I was pregnant, and now I'm 109. So I'm not fat or anything. Just seems like he's turned off by me or just not as attracted to me like he was before I had the baby. Anyone feel like this or had this happen to them in a relationship before?

Answer 1

Was he in the delivery room with you?  He may still have a mental image of what takes place in his head.  Birth is a beautiful thing to witness but your husband possibly views that area a little differently now.  Also nursing your baby can change things a little.  Guys aren't much into sharing.  If these are the reasons for his lack of interest then don't worry.  He may think of your body as a little foreign to him right now but they soon forget about that an start seeing you as theirs again.

Answer 2

Two simple little words may solve your problem : ASK HIM

Answer 3

Was your husband present for the birth?If so some men,after seeing that have trouble looking at the whole s*x thing for a while.It is natural for this to happen,it will pass,I'm sure everything will return to normal before you know it.I hope the three of you have a wonderful, happy life..  

Answer 4

I am sure he is going through quite an emotional roller coaster right now too. Just give him a little time.... Especially if this is his first child.

Answer 5

I think it is just insecurity on your part. Or at least some of it.

You're supposed to wait at least 6 weeks anyway. Sometimes more depending on how you feel physically, or if the woman had a c-section it's longer. So it's a good thing you haven't had s*x yet.

But talk to him. Does he know about the waiting 6 weeks thing?Perhaps he hasn't tried anything yet because he is afraid he'll hurt you. But like I said TALK to him. And let him know you're ready and it's ok, have the doctor tell him it's safe if you have to.

Answer 6

It could be stress. Is the new baby causing any financial issues? Is he losing sleep? Is he worrying about how to care/ raise for the new baby?

This actually happens alot. Just talk to him. More often than not, it has nothing to do with the new mom.

Also, sometimes when the father watches a vaginal birth, he can get a little freaked out seeing "his place" being "used" by another purpose. Seeing a vaginal birth can also be traumatizing for the new father. It is such a huge shift in life direction that it can make the new daddy rethink his position in every situation.

Just talk to him. I don't know him so I can't tell you exactly what is going on. Maybe counseling could help?

Answer 7

Some guys get turned off by the thought of having s*x with someone's mother.  

Answer 8

assuming nothing else is going on, i wouldnt worry too much.  you're reasoning why you think he'd appreciate you more and be turned on are from a woman's perspective, not a guy's.  

he probably has some anxiety about taking care of a baby now, feels added pressure and like someone mentioned, s*x with a baby's mother might seem weird.  guy's minds work differently and have different perspectives on identical situations.   and, since we're not good at expressing those thoughts they tend to affect behavior with no apparent explanation.

let him sort through his thoughts and he'll be back all over you just like before.  

Answer 9

Welcome to being a mom. You gave birth to one baby but brought two home from the hospital.

Make sure he sees you as a woman and not as a breast feeding machine.

I can only imagine the insecurity and fear a man must feel when he realizes how much smaller he is compared to a babies head.

Again make sure his image of you is as a s**y woman not a puke covered mom.

Answer 10

Here's my thinking on this situation number one he was not ready for parenthood.  Number two having seen the childbirth if he was with you the thought of having s*x right now disgusts him?. One last thing the notion of you getting pregnant again scares the c**p out of him.  Needless to say the long hours and the early morning wake up calls probably do not leave him much energy for anything else.

Man I love that I chose not to have rugrats sleeping in is so nice so is having the extra money to spend on me and the wife.

I'm thinking maybe give him a few more weeks maybe he is just being sensitive to you it has only been 6 weeks some woman abstain from s*x for up to six months after child birth he just probably figures you need time to heal.

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Talk to him and ask him what is going on?.

Answer 11

I am not a woman but when our first child was born I felt neglected by my wife because she spent more time with our daughter and not with me...selfish thing but when you are use to your spouse asking about your day and stuff, it hurts when you feel they don't care.  We talked about it, problem solved.  I think you should talk to your husband and see what is on his mind.  This way you both understand what is going on.  May or may not help and this is just what I recommend...It's just me.