I feel like a loser?

Question

am an asian living in an asia, currently studying in 11th grade.

I am average looking and short. I seem to inherit the worst genes from my parents- asthma, square face etc. My mum is prettier, more curvy and taller( including my dad) than me. Furthermore, I am the shortest in my entire family clan (maternal and paternal).

I am not really smart either, my dad always criticises me for lacking common sense and sometimes, I doubt I even have a brain. My lack of intelligence is also reflected by my grades- a string of E because I can't seem to focus in class.

I don't have an aim in my life...it's like there's no motivation to drive me anywhere. All I know is that I like fashion and I want to work in an MNC so that left me with the choice of a business course. Initially, I wanted to be a journalist or lawyer but my aunt told me that I won't be able to enter such courses due to my poor command of english. However, I can string coherent sentences, it's just that I have difficulty in expressing ideas, always talking in a roundabout way, be it written or verbal.

I am in the school's dance club but I am not one of the star performers. It's like I am a plain jane- no talents whatsoever.

Lastly, since I had switched to a new school, I can't seem to adapt to my new circle of friends because I have difficulty relating to them. All they do the entire day is gossip or talk about boyfriends( I don't have one btw bcoz I have yet to find someone that I am passionate abt) or fantasize their fairytale marriages. I would rather sit in a corner and read my storybooks. However, I try my best to be with them by partaking in their frivolous conversations.

I want to apply to US colleges but my aunt thinks I am too lousy for it because of my school grades. I am trying my best to work hard for it but it's tiring. Studying in asia is different from studying in the US! I have no time at all and the syllabus is much tougher. Even though I am in highschool, I am studying US college algrebra and chemistry. For english, I have to write essays on issues such as human rights, crime and punishment, and various world issues. Although I am chinese, I can't score well in mandarin because I speak cantonese at home( that's what I think). The sounds are different and the words are difficult. However, my parents seem to think that since I am a cantonese, mandarin would be easy for me.

I don't know what to do with my life! I prayed to God and sometimes, I ask him why did he create me this way? why did he give others brains and not me? God creates people for a purpose and I don't think I am here to waste space. I wish I am motivated like michael phelps.

Answer 1

i think everyone feels like this at some point in their life... i know i have, and still do sometimes.

you need a wake up call, you need to realize how lucky you are to even be at school in the first place. you have a family and friends and a roof over your head. some people would kill to be you.

and for the record, i admire you for being a dancer... i cant dance at ALL. who cares if youre not a star preformer, or dont have the best grades or the best looks. you are YOU and no one else is like you, no one. thats got to mean something.

i think you should have what i call a selfish day. go out and buy yourself something youve wanted for a long time, get a makeover, pig out on your favorite food, watch your favorite movie. bring someone along if you want. you just need to realize that you are not a waste of space, you need to enjoy yourself.

if you think fashion is the road you want to take, then GO FOR IT! dont let people stop you. espeically dont let yourself stop you. dont bring yourself down, think positive things (as cliché as that is, it works).

good luck my dear xoxo

Answer 2

ur problems are tough, and its a tough time in ur life. remember though things could be worse, trust me from the sounds of it ur no loser, take it from me. im a loser...... its true that it takes one to know one, i have zero friends no job no money no girl cuz no looks no motivation no education no dad and barely a mom, the list goes on and on, trust me ur no loser,  

Answer 3

I think what your lacking here most is a DRIVE in life

A purpose, a niche to fufill, something to devote your energy too and keep you motivated, so you feel like your not wasting your time and are completely lost in life..

That something is different for everyone, e.g: A boyfriend, a hobby, work, a pet, children, travel, etc...

I felt like that at one stage too, I kept saying to myself "Wtf am I doing with myself? When am I going to mature? What the h**l will I do in the future?"

After university it all just cleared up for me; I found a job just through ordinary means fairly quickly, I got settled in, I met all these new people, we all became great friends, they all lead interesting lives, now I spend a lot of time socialising unlike before, I have a stable career and I met a guy at my work..

You'll see, things have a way of evening out for you... Find what you have to offer, what your passion is and just go with it..

Even if all other aspects of your life are just completely screwed, having something to turn to and dedicate yourself too when everything else is pointless is a good way to keep yourself mentally/emotionally focused and not so you know...

depressed and lost all the time

we're all lost, life is a series of distractions from the inevitable: death

death is certain, everything else is scenery, so just make the most of it while u can

Answer 4

so far from what i have read, you sound very intelligent to me. some times when things dont go the way we want them  we get fustrated and talk down on ourselves. dont listen to your family. family members think that they have the right to judge you or say whatever because they are family. you have to understand that the world is very judgmental. people will be people. doesnt matter if they are family. i dont want you to talk down about yourself because you are worth something you just dont know it yet. you are young too so you still have time to mature and get the full wisdom that god wants you to have. i still dont know what my purpose in life is. i think about it everyday and sometimes wonder how i can accomplish things  when i cant do this or that. dont beat yourself up. i dont care what people think or say and you really have to understand that. i hope that you understand what i am sayin here. i was made fun of my whole life, family members are sometimes not supportive. but like i said you are important and you matter. you have to believe in yourself. if you dont your strenth will break down every day because people will want to break you and you will feel low because you yourself doesnt believe that you can make it. you have the power over your destiny and i really dont want you to be broken because you dont meet the worlds standards. how many times do you think someone has told michael phelps that he cant make it or that it is just impossible to be on top for so long. im sure a lot of people laughed at him at first and thought that he would not make it. every time he wins, if you look at him he looks as if he won for the first time. that look and happiness is for everyone who doubted him. you cant give up in life, because when you are down people dont look to give you a hand. they stomp on you till you cant get up anymore. people like that gain confidence knowing that someone else was not strong enough, or that they took someone down. so dont feel bad or down until you have really tried, then you push yourself even harder because its what you want.