I have a prego friend and...?

Question

She is 23 an this will be her 2nd kid. Both with different dads. Except, I'm pretty sure this one is a dead beat.

Example:

He is 28 with no car

He lives with her and her parents

He drives her car, and ever since he has started driving it her car is falling apart and he will not even pay for it to get an oil change

He works at a hotel banquet room and only makes 8 an hour

HE does not have any bills but his cell phone and still manages never to have any money to even by her parents groceries, but eats all theirs.

drinks every night (think thats were his money goes all of it.)

other then all that he is not a bad guy, he is friendly, funny, not a crazy drunk, but he has issues.

So pretty much she is at a crossroads either dump him, or he needs to grow up fast.

I really don't see this working out for the positive one bit unless she dumps him or he steps up.

I suppose my question is, has anyone else been or seen a silular situation? How did it work out ?

Answer 1

I have been in a similar situation. Basically hun, stay out of it. I mean be her friend and all , but do not make comments about her dead beat. She'll think of you as the bad guy. When she get sick of his bullstuff she will leave and you can be there to pick up the pieces. Unless-who know, maybe after the baby comes he'll change for the better. Stranger things have happened!

Mine went like this, I dated this guy who lived off me for 6 years! He would always work here and there. Then one day I just go sick of it and couldn't take it anymore. Once she gets tired, she'll leave.

Answer 2

I havent been in that situation but my boyfriends sister has. She loved him to bits but he used her and her mom.

He was always here eating the food, using the hot water and then he got a car outa the sister. He was a complete Jackass, he was on loads of dating sites. He was lazy, useless and a dumb-***.

6 months they were together and then she got pregnant, not only because he wouldnt use condoms but the dumb ***** thought the pill would stop her all together having kids. Then he cheated on her while she was preggers....

What your friend needs to do is blackmail him, tell him he has to change his ways and kick him out, till he changes he cant come back. If not she has to leave him other wise its going to be like my boyfriends sister, gullable and weak.

Tell her to dump him.

Answer 3

She can do better for herself. She is choosing to be with those deadbeats. If she truel loves this "second man" dont necessarily give him an Ultimatum, but she needs to tell him, buck up and be or man, or im gone. Also, prayer works.

Answer 4

Well first off she needs to figure out is he woth it? Does she love him? It does sound like to me he needs to get his c**p together.But she needs to be the one to tell him that. Maybe church or counceling or something.But she has to do that. He sounds like he is young and needs to be a man or move on and pay child support.But some men need to be pushed hard.If she is willing to be like look you need to go to school get a better job and start wanting things in life or else. But again she has to tell him that. It is a scary thing when you are pregnant because you dont want to be alone.But you have to do whats best for you and your kidos