I mustv'e missed something...?

Question

i recently answered this question regarding adoption:

Am I the only one who thinks?

that it's possible that some of these new faces could be from agencies trying to stir the pot and get the folks on y/a to recommend agencies? I have nothing against adoption done right but it just seems odd that there are SOOOOO many new faces with new accounts that post circumstances that would lead caring people to steer others in their direction. I admit I have trust issues. Can you give me your thoughts on this?

now, i put: let them "stir the pot" all they want. if it helps a child find a home, who cares?

i got like, 13 thumbs down or something...

i'm guessing that i missed something that other people who actually frequent this category all know about, and i was wondering if anyone would explain to me why it is wrong to get people to reccomend agencies.. just curious.

Answer 1

It is matter of "The end doesn't justify the means."  There are proper, ethical and respectful ways of going about something.  You don't see hearts, and kidneys advertised on Yahoo.  

I think maybe it was the end of your statement "who cares"  that probably really rubbed people the wrong way.  If you are an adoptee you do care very much that there was respect and dignity in your placement, and that you weren't bartered over the internet like a puppy or used car.  I understand what you were saying, but you said it in an insensitive and flippant way.

Answer 2

Simply put....it is against the Y!A Terms of Service.

And as an adoptive parent I personally find it abhorrent!

This forum is to discuss adoption issues, legislation and reform. Not to solicit for children.

Adoption is a complex issue and many on here, including me, get offended by over generalizations. But the thumbs down is a dead issue to me. Your new here and I encourage you to please go back and read the archives to understand where many of us are coming from.

I hope this makes it clear. Have a nice day!

Answer 3

First off, I've said it before and I'll say it again....I hate the phrase "Stir the pot."  I'm not saying you do it, but most of the time people use it about people and opinions they have a problem with.

I think people from agencies have better things to do than be on Yahoo...trust me, infant agencies don't need any more business....

Now, I need some good parents, but other than trying to steal one in particular, I've never left the name of my agency.

Answer 4

Solicitation is a violation of the TOS

Predatory behavior like this is kinda like ambulance chasing kwim?

Answer 5

It's okay AP, some people take things differently than the terms you are talking about.  It could well be possible that there are agencies coming on, this world is so fuc--- up anymore.  People will try anything.  Your views have always been helpful and appreciated by me so keep doing what your doing.  I give ya 13 thumbs up !!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      Fan

Answer 6

what you seem to have missed, amanda, is that agencies reps often come on adoption boards, misrepresent themselves as fparents, adoptees or aparents, and generally give very biased information about adoption.  also, many of these people only answer questions from young scared pregnant women, attempt to befriend them, yet only wish to have them place their children, and not accept another alternative like parenting.  they usually default to agency jargon (eg "you are so loving," "you can have an 'open adoption' if you want","there are soooo many loving parents who would be great parents to your baby," "adoption is a win-win, in that it gives you a chance to go on with your life, and a baby a home with loving parents" and on and on.  never do these people speak frankly about adoption loss, adoptee loss, coercion in adoption, that many young women parent and go on to live great lives...

also, contrary to what many people believe, there isn't an abundance of young women eager to give up their kids.  hence the reason for so much marketing. there are far many people who want to adopt then babies available. so these people are often viewed as "attempting to meet the demand for healthy infants by encouraging young women to place their children."  so that's the pot stirring many speak of.

so that's the issue.  regarding your thumbs down, i can't say why because i don't recall giving you one.  but i think many might have taken offense if in your answer you purported that these adoption workers are in some way doing a public service by encouraging scared pregnant women to give up their kids...  some would have big issues with that.

Answer 7

I'm sorry it was my question and it was misenturpreted by more than one. I was not accusing anyone of any thing. And by the way the new faces I was talking about, not one of them answered my question. I was just wondering with the odd stories and the new faces if there wasn't something fishy going on. AND I DID admit that I have trust issues. That's why I asked. The opinions I got were good enough for me. I must be making things up as I go along again. lol

As for your thumbs, I don't know, that whole thing puzzles me. I rarely use thumbs down. But obviously others do. I am not against adoption, I don't like it but I see a need for it. Maybe your answer was too willing to recommend an agency for some peoples liking. I really don't know.

I honestly never said that people were trollng and leaving the name of their agency. I have seen it done but that is not where I was headed with the question. I was honestly just curious where all the new faces and accounts came from. No harm intended.