I really want a baby :(?

Question

Im 17, and i really want a baby.

I know im really young and i have all my life to be a mom, but me and my friends were talking earlier today and they both have boyfriends and were saying how theier boyfrends were saying they wanna spend the rest of thiere lives with them and they want to have kids and marriage, and i just felt soo left out as i have never had a boyfriend let alone have s*x!

I have always wanted kids or as long as i can remember, but for the past 3 months or so, i have been feeling really maternal and ive just been on the Idea of having kids.

I know i dont want a baby now, but i definatly do want kids and i just cant wait much longer, I know it sounds dumb, but its getting me down abit, and everywhere i turn now i see a pregnant woman, or a lay walking with her kids and it just makes me feel jelous, coz i dont have that, and coz ive never had a boyfriend and probably never will, ill never have kids either :( I know its not a question, but please make me feel better.

Answer 1

Yep you said it! you are really young. Believe me just wait for a few years more. you will have no regrets

Answer 2

Girl, don't worry! I PROMISE you will have a boyfriend. I'm sure you will have a family and everything you want in time. It just isn't your time yet. I am 22 and I have a stable loving relationship and I'd love a baby, but I know we don't have enough money to support starting a family yet. You need a lot of things in place before you think about having a baby. All women get really broody sometimes! It will pass. Your friends may love their boyfriends, but most women don't end up with the boys they were with at that age. Don't rush things to keep up with your friends, you just haven't met the right boy yet! Relax and look forward to other positive things in your life. Good luck! x

Answer 3

It's not a bad thing to have a maternal instinct, which is what you have, but you've got to think with your head, not your heart, and recognise that this isn't the time or place in your life to bring a child into the world.

Why not volunteer at a children's playscheme over summer or do some babysitting for your neighbours? That way you get to do all the fun stuff and hand them back at the end of the day when they are crying, being sick and throwing tantrums.

As for saying you'll never have a boyfriend... rubbish! You're only 17 - there's plenty of time yet - and so many boys waiting out there when you are ready and meet someone who wants to be with you and who you want to be with. I had my first serious boyfriend at the massively old age of 19 (!) and can't say it hindered my dating and s*x life. Believe me, I've more than made up for it since and it was totally worth the wait!

Answer 4

Wow.

Wel thats sad. i have never heard of someone your age wanting this. but you need to be focused on scaool right now and stop saying you will never have kids. if you say that too much it will come true.

Answer 5

i'll give you a baby if you want ;) lol its sounds to me your like a little kid who gets jealous like when  a toddler gets jealous when another toddler has a toy. a kids not just an accesory or a toy. no offence

Answer 6

you dont want a baby so young trust me. just get a doggy.

Answer 7

your 17 i didnt have a proper bf to i was 18 then i met my nw bf and were getting married next year there is hope

i have suffered severe depression and to be honest if your feeling low now and then do have a baby you are highly at risk of get baby blues so bad youll push the child away from you which wouldnt be fair

ive had 3 miscarrages and i know exactly how your feeling seeing a pregnant woman or a woman with kids its natural but give it some time im only begining to feel like im growing up now and im almost 21 life is too short to shorten it just think of what you would end up missing out on if you did have a child now you wouldnt be able to go clubbing with ur mates have a laugh with them like you do now youd be totally swamped with the child no matter how much help you would have from family

i know a child seems like all you need now but you need to give life a chance first not fall into bed with every guy whos willing just so you can have a child that child has a right to know its parents and have both their love and attention and support

i hope this helps

Answer 8

perhaps..you could get a job in the child care field..then you'd be around lil' kids and babies..and you could just do that untill ur ready to have children of your own =0

Answer 9

maybe u should just think about school hun trust me

Answer 10

Hun it might not be what you wanna hear, but yes you are at a young age. By the sounds of it , you want the whole package - a man who loves you and sticks by you , and a child.

Your 17 with your life ahead of you. Children can be incredibly hard work . They can drain you physically, financially and mentally. Of course, having children has it's up sides, but at the end of the day, you are young and still have the opportunity to live much of your life, before you settle down and have children.

Answer 11

Go to uni, get a decent paying job and then think about a baby. You need to give it some kind of a life. You have to think about what you can offer it. Too many babies don't get the start in life they deserve and could get if their parents just waited! You have so much time.

Answer 12

You are just at that teenage stage where your hormones are taking over and you get this rush of maternal longings where babies look all rosy and sweet. Most women get that - I know I did! The important thing is to NOT act on it! The feelings will go away - you will probably still want children, but the "I want a baby now" feelings go away when you get a little older. Just think - what do you have to offer a baby right now? Surely your child deserves parents that are financially secure enough to take care of him/her properly, and that have been together for a significant amount of time and want to be together forever etc. I am sure you will do the right thing and wait. And don't worry, the feelings you have will calm down! x

Answer 13

Many people don't meet the right guy until they're 10 or 20 years older than you are right now.  Many of them go on to marry, have kids, and be happy.  Just because you haven't had a boyfriend at 17 doesn't mean you never will!!! And people can have dozens of boyfriends and yet not meet the right guy that they want to have children with.

Having kids is not just the person walking with her kids on a sunny afternoon.  It's also the sleepless nights and the tantrum at the check-out counter and driving to the ER in the middle of the night when your child has an asthma attack.  It costs thousands of dollars to raise a child, you need a steady source of support, and you give up all your free time and devote pretty much all of your energy to someone's wants besides your own.  While it's wonderful, it's a huge undertaking.  Please wait.

You certainly can wait longer, even if you think you can't.  I was 29 when I had my first child, and thanks to that we are economically stable, can afford to live where there are good schools, my husband and I have education that we can pass down to our kids, and we're just more mature and patient people generally.  If you're excited about kids, go babysit.  If the day-to-day stuff involved in babysitting (diapers, feedings, the fiftieth game of candyland, temper tantrums, whining, cleaning baby food off the floor) isn't attractive to you, then trust me, parenting wouldn't be, either.  Give it time.  If you're sure you want kids, spend the next 5 or 10 years making yourself ready to be a great mom.

Answer 14

your time will come soon enough for children!

don't just go out and have s*x because you want a baby, you will find someone who you will soon love - you just need to get out and look in the right places. you still have your childhood to finish, don't think about babies yet; but i am glad you want children as you sound like you could be a good mum.

be responsible and dont grow up too fast..your time will come, i promise you :)

Answer 15

From what you've said, it sounds to me like you're more longing for companionship than for an actual child.  

I know it sucks when everyone around you seems to have someone.  Be it a boyfriend, a spouse, or a child.  But, trust me when I say that children are HARD work.

I know that when we picture kids we picture the ideals.  We don't picture the waking up every 2 hours (sometimes more) at night to feed them when our bodies are so sore from 9 months of carrying them around and then excruciating labor.  

We don't think about the possibility that OUR child could have colic, reflux or any other medical conditions that may cause inconsolable crying.

We don't think that our children will be difficult...when we fantisize about having children, we only see what we want to see and that's a cute bundle of pink or blue sleeping peacefully and then waking up without a peep and smiling at us.  

Sure there are those moments...but motherhood is the hardest job you will ever have.  Have a bit more fun and just enjoy being young some more.  If you really feel lonely and need someone to talk to, or if you just really want to be around kids, seek a job with them, or get a pet.

Answer 16

You have to wait for a dependable husband who will look after you.  A baby is an insane amount of work, so unless you want to stop your schooling and your social life right now, I suggest you wait.