I want to adopt, but...?

Question

I'm 48, and single (but financially stable) - why is it so difficult to adopt an American child, not an infant, but not an adolescent either? There are classes to take and tons of paperwork, not to mention a super long wait and ridiculous fees. Is it best to go to a lawyer that specializes in adoption? I know it is an excruciating process to go thru the department of children & families (state agency) - what about places like Catholic Charities? Are there others like that?

Answer 1

If your getting frustrated with the paperwork and things they put you through to adopt maybe you should rethink adoption. Having a child is going to be 100 times more difficult.

Answer 2

Classes to take?  When we adopted through a local agency, we didn't have to take any classes.  I think foster care requires classes, and I do believe Catholic Charities does also, but the adoption agency we used, did not.  You might want to call a local adoption agency and see if they offer adoption of older children (i.e. not infant).  They might be able to point you in the right direction.  

We used Adoptions from the Heart, and I highly recommend them.  www.adoptionsfromtheheart.org.

Good luck.

Answer 3

:(

Answer 4

I do not know where you live but you have a lot of options that are not that expensive either.  For one you can go to an orphanage.  We have a catholic one here (In KY) and they have lots of children of all ages and sizes needing a home.  This process is not difficult.  But my number one suggestion is that you first go through a foster care agency.  You take a few classes to be a certified foster parent and then the agency will call you when they get a child. (Which is constantly) these children range in a very wide variety.  You can get teenagers or newborns or in between. Some have medical problems, behavior problems, emotional problems or no problems at all their parents just did not want them.  You also get paid each month for keeping these children I believe it is somewhere around 1000 a month.  But the best part is you can be as selective as you want if you don't think the child would fit in your home you do not ever even have to meet it just tell the agency you will pass on this.  This is a really great thing and really helps people I was a foster kid and it completely turned my life around.  Good luck to you!

Answer 5

If you are willing to adopt an older child then go through your state's foster care or foster to adopt program. There are classes and paperwork, but many children are waiting and it's usually free. I don't think it's an excruciating process, not sure where you heard that.

There are also private foster care services, like Baptist Childrens Homes, you can check those as well.

The homestudy process is the same regardless of the origin of the child.

Answer 6

Paper work is apart of the adoption process no matter what facility you go through. Many have the perspective parents take classes, do home studies etc. Its no cake walk but once you have your child in your home, most would tell you that its well worth it.

I see you are considering an older child, you might also consider adopting a siblings group maybe 2 or 3 children.

Answer 7

Domestic adoption......complicated?

Then I agree with the second poster....then parenting may be too difficult for you!  This is nothing!

As a single, you MUST have all the strength, resources, zeal, energy, fortitude, and attitude to adopt and be a parent!

Private agencies are probably the way to go for you.  It is not complicated at all!  If you qualify, you adopt!  That simple!

You must have the financial resources to adopt, because if you do not, as a single parent, they assume you do not have the resources to raise a child.

Rethink this!  How badly do you want to parent???  If wild horses can 't keep you from it, then you will succeed!  If these are already stumbling blocks to you, then maybe volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters for a year and then revisit the idea of adoption.  Good luck to you.

Answer 8

What you are asking is not difficult at all but there are things that the child protective services MUST do to protect these vulnerable children. While your intentions are probably honorable, there are others out there who are not so honorable and they can be good actors.

Seriously, if you are looking to adopt a child in the early school age (5 to 9) there are lots of those kids available. The problem is you truly are limited to the children in your state due to the interstate compact. It allows children to cross over state lines for adoption but there is a gazzillion different papers that need to be filled out which become contracts between states. Many states will not allow medically fragile children in foster care to cross state lines due to the financial obligations that go with that child in school and life in general. Most people cannot afford to adopt a child with severe medicial issues without assistance. Once the child crosses state line they become the respoonsibility of the recieving state.

Seriously, I would try the foster care route. You tell them the age of child you will acept and any special needs you cannot handle. The first placement I had was for a brother and sister ages 6 and 7). Even though I was foster only, they placed these children with me knowing they were going to have parental rights terminated. They were certain I would be adopting these two children too. Truth be told had I not had to move from that state I would have. I was in the middle of a China adoption as well. It took a number of years for parental rights to be terminated, I had to leave the state for my job but if I hadn't I would be the parent of three children right now instead of one. The first state would not allow those children to cross state lines even after parental rights were terminated. I just don't get it. However, if you live in the state in which the children enter care you have a much better shot at adoption.

Bottom line though is there is a ton of paper work involved with adoption no matter how you go about it.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

try www.adoptioncentre.com

Answer 10

You will usually get more individualized and faster attention through a social service agency rather than going through the state but the process is the same.  In our state there are no fees for older adoptions (anything other than an healthy infant) but the wait can be the same.  It's difficult to get younger children unless you are open to accepting a child of a different race because in most cases those children aren't legally free for adoption.  It takes a ridiculous amount of time before the courts will terminate rights on biological parents.  I've seen children enter the system as infants and not become legally free until they are 7-8 years of age.  In most states there views are to return a child home to their parents but I think they give way too many chances.  A child's life should be put on hold while an adult gets their act together.  Your choices are limited.  You can either go through the state process either through the state or ss agency.  You can apply and pay for an international adoption.  Adoption attorney's mainly deal with infants not toddlers or older children.  You can however be proactive in searching for a child once you have received certification.  There are national and state registries that list children free for adoption but they won't consider you till your certified.  If you find a child you are interested in you can check with that agency to see what you need to do to be considered.