I want to get engaged.?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together since April 2006. We have both always been completely faithful to eachother, both love eachother very much, and have a very good relationship. It is now July going on August 2008, and I really am READY to take the relationship to another stage.

I am 18, he is 21. I will be 19 in November. I am going into my sophmore year of college, working part time, and he works full time, going to college part time. We live in upstate New York, and I've always wanted to go to college and live in New Jersey. I recently had the opportunity to go there, I got accepted to Rutgers. I decided, again, that I will not leave him, and will stay here for another year or two to be with him.

I want to move the relationship along though. I have had many discussions with him about this. I want to either move in with eachother, or be engaged. I would not want to get married for another 5-6 years. Am I just being selfish? Should I really have these expectations?

Answer 1

YOu are still young... i wouldnt rush it just wait it out... i am in the same situation but i been with my man for 5 yrs and he told me plenty of times that we will take it to the next step and he hasnt come through with those promises!

Answer 2

ask him what he thinks about getting engaged, or ask his friends, they might say no though, because some guys think its bad when their friend gets engaged because they cant have a boys night out and go to the club or anything, but idk. try asking them anyways.

Answer 3

Why ruin your life by rushing?

People don't have a clue as to who they are until they are 30.

Slow down. Don't rush into a thing that may end up with you and a couple of kids trying to sort out who you Really are.

Answer 4

Wait until you finish your education. You are both very young. You need to meet other people and have more experience with life before you settle down. Otherwise you will always think that you missed something.

Answer 5

as long as u've talked this thru with ur bf and he's on the same page as u, u can get engaged or whatever u want.

but you'll have to know that in a good relationship, we need self actualization~ we cannot give up on everything to be with the other half bc that could pressure them to think that they have ruined ur future. talk to him about moving in together~ and about ur future plans.

your relationships seems healthy, but u need to do stuff for urself more. you're still very young, and college will open ur mind for sure. i am not saying u should go to college and dump ur bf, but don't give up everything~

Answer 6

Being that you've been with him since you were 16, I'd say to wait until you've finished your education before moving onward towards engagement. It's great that you have a good relationship now. You haven't experienced a lot of things yet, so it's best to just keep this relationship friendly. Moving in right now would just put you into situations that you're not ready for yet. I think you're right on the head with wanting to wait another 5-6 years to get married. I'd also put the engagement on hold too. Enjoy each other, but also enjoy life too. Not saying that you should run out and start dating other fellas, but do all the things that you want to do. Go places, meet people, get all the education you can get. Life has this habit of speeding along, whether you're on board or not. Before you know it, time will have flown by, and you'll have to ask yourself if you've done all that you planned on doing...before you got married. It's not saying that your fella can't be in on your plans, but just don't limit yourself to what you currently see. Things and people change. I'm not with the fella I started out with...and that's a good thing. That fella wasn't good for me, and I wasn't good for him. If your fella doesn't want to wait around for you, then it might be a good thing you found that out now, instead of after you've been married for 5 years and have 2 kids. It's not a matter of you being selfish. It's a matter of not limiting your future. The whole world is open to you right now. Go out and see what's out there. After you've finished your education, gotten the job you planned on getting, then maybe take another look at making that commitment. I wouldn't want you to wish you had done more with your life when you were young, when you're a grandma. Do it now. <*)))><

Answer 7

You are too young at this moment to just settle. I think you should finish school. If you don't you will regret it. you should make the move to Jersey to go to the College of your choice. Don't let a relationship stop you from full filling your dreams. When you return from finishing your studies then you think about moving in with him if he decided to wait for you  or engage. If not move on you are too young to settle.

Answer 8

i know exactly how you feel..you feel like you have invested all this time ..but ur stuck in a slump! the relationship is great so why not take the next step? right?  I had a friend that was with her boyfriend  for 4 years and she felt the same way so she gave him an ultimatum to move in or she would move away and they would brake it off! He refused so now they are no longer together..don't do that..figure out what he wants ..figure out if he wants you in his future! DO NOt pressure him into anything your young think about it if you to are meant to be you have all the time in the world dont rush things!