I was just wondering. . . ?

Question

i have 3 kids of my own, and i am in a new relationship - yes it is very serious. well, the other day we were talking about how he doesnt have any kids of his own and i really dont wanna have anymore. and i asked him "what if one day you do?" and he said adoption. i dont feel right because i feel like maybe the child wouldn't feel 100% accepted because of the fact the his/her brothers and sister would have a genetic tie to me. my bf is adopted, his parents were always very open about it and he fine with it. so my question is this: what do you think about this?

im not saying im gonna go out and do this tomorrow are even in a year (i am attending college) but maybe some one else could give me some insight on this issue.

Answer 1

Adoption is a beautiful thing.  There is no reason for the child not to feel 100% accepted, unless you make him/her feel that way.  I have one adopted child and one biological.  There is no difference in how I love them - they are both my kids, each in their own special way.  There are so many children out there just waiting for a good home.  If you get married to this man and you want another child, then by all means, seriously consider adopting.  

Answer 2

If that is the question you are raising, then obviously you are not the type of person to adopt because YOU have an issue with the child not being genetically tied to you.  Children don't know or care unless you make it the issue or emphasize the difference.

Why would a child not feel accepted unless you don't accept him?

Answer 3

I don't think it matters how old the child is when you adopt - although the older they are the more likely there is to be problems getting them to settle, but the adoption agency should help you with that.

The most important thing, I think, is that you are willing to give a child a better home and a happy, loving, caring family, which they all deserve, but obviously don't all get.

Answer 4

It's not that they have a genetic tie to you that make them feel loved and accepted.  It's how you are to them.  So, if you're willing to give an adopted child the love and attention you would to a child you birthed yourself, go for it.

Answer 5

My husband is adopted and his brother and sister are not....I think he is totally fine with it.  He is actually greatful that they adopted him and gave him a pleasant life.  Adoption is almost always a positive thing.