Indepent social workers and medical examinations?

Question

hi, my mother is fighting to have my 14mth old son to come home and live with her,he is presently in foster care and has been since 2weeks old,my mother is bringing 2 of my children up already and has been for 9 years. for some reason the social workers are against my mother taking my 14 mth son on, they are going for adoption, why we dont know.

i cant bring my children up myself cause it would not be fair cause im a drug addict and it would not be a good life for them with me, and believe me i wish my mother did not have to bring these children an i know its not fair, im paying for it but so are the chldren, ecspiellally the one in foster care.

My mother is not giving up without a fight and has now asked for an indepent social worker to do an assessement, the court have allowed this, but my mother bless her,has got to travel miles and miles to get to this assessement and we are wondering does anyone know what the assessement intails and also she has got to have a full medical too.

Answer 1

3 kids that you have never raised; one is 9 years old so you've been addicted and pooping out kids you couldn't care for for at least 9 years?  I'm pretty sure many forms of birth control have been available over the last 9 years . . . .

9 years, 3 kids and forcing your mother to raise your kids?  meanwhile, they see their mother as a drug addict who doesn't care enough about her kids to straighten up?  

i really hope this question isn't real . . .if it is, move far away from your kids so they don't see your example and start using birth control.

Answer 2

She needs to bring her finaicals more than anything and be able to prove that she can support these kids.  That is probbally why they don't want her to have the third child.   Also she has to provide her own medical.   Why don't you have your tubes tied so you don't have to put more kids throgh this

Answer 3

It is important to know what state you are living in. Your mother, assuming she IS healthy, should NOT be having trouble rearing your children.............trouble with the social services is strange for this situation. Normally, the relative is the one that the social services picks out to care for the child. The fact that the child could grow up with his/her siblings, with a grandma would seem ideal.  Has your mother been accused of NOT being a good parent for the children? This is odd, to say the least.

Answer 4

Hmmm. I've never known an addict to ADMIT that they are an addict.

So assuming this is an authentic questioner, I say get your as* to rehab.

So many of these problems would dry up if you'd say goodbye to whatever you're addicted to...

http://www.hazelden.org/

Answer 5

I am sorry for your situation, but why would you continue to have children if you know you can't raise them? Why would you get pregnant when you are using drugs?

I don't know why CPS doesn't want your mother to raise your last child, perhaps they feel she is already overwhelmed by raising your other two.

Hopefully it will all be worked out in the best interest of your baby.

Perhaps you should consider a permanent form of birth control?

Answer 6

I have a different view point on this. If this child has been in foster care since two weeks old and is now over a year old and hopefully with the same foster family...then this is the only family this baby knows. If they are the ones wanting to adopt then wouldn't it be best for them to adopt this baby. Think of whats best for this baby.  But this is just my opinion on this subject............................. An assesment is basically a big interview that takes a few meetings to complete..plus  .background checks, reference checks, and a medical checkup is usually required so they know she has no medical conditions that would prevent her from being able to raise children.  This all normally required of all persons wanting to be foster parents or adopt. They want to make sure she is the best person to raise the kids and to make sure she understands and can handle it all.

Answer 7

If you care about your children enough to wonder about this process, you should care about them enough to sober yourself up and get your life together. What a let down to your kids. You don't have to be a let down, you can still show them how MUCH we, can overcome if given something as amazing as children to do it for. SHOW them that they don't have to give into addiction by you getting yourself clean. That addiction is possible to overcome and not something you'll just throw  your life and children away for without a fight. Its a disease, fight it!! You'd fight cancer wouldn't you? You'd fight any other illness wouldn't you? FIGHT THIS ONE, FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

Answer 8

I'll take a wild guess - you're in the UK?

It's because they will get a cash bonus for placing the baby to meet their adoption targets.   The best interests of the child have gone flying out the window when money comes into the equation and they see the ££££££

Hopefully this initiative will be thrown out by April 1st as it's effect has not been as expected (reducing the numbers in foster care)  it has instead, systematically increased the removal of babies for adoption without good cause.   The Stats are shocking.

If my hunch is correct, I can put you in touch with the relevant people who can help keep the family together.

All the best

Answer 9

As a recovering addict myself, I feel for you.  I hope your mother is able to gain custody of your son.  I can't help you there.  But I can tell you that it is a wonderful thing that your children will be able to see you and know you because your mom is raising them.  And I can also tell you that recovery is WORTH IT!!!  It's hard, for sure.  Some days it seems impossible.  But it is worth it.  I commend your honesty.  Do you know that the only things you need to recover are Honesty, Open mindedness, and Willingness?  It's one of the acronyms they use in recovery (HOW).  Even if you don't WANT to recover, please, please take the time to find a 12-step meeting in your area.  I promise it's worth it.  The ONLY requirement for membership is a desire to stop using your drug of choice.  No one will judge you there.

As an aside, I could have been in your shoes.  Matter of fact, if I had followed in my parents' footsteps (and everyone else in my family), I would have.  Make one or two small changes in my life, and I could have been you.  But, instead, I'm on the other side.  I'm on the "receiving end" of the foster/adopt scenario.  You and me are cut from the same mold, but we just have a few slight differences.  You can recover.  I promise.

I hope that one day your children get to have the wonderful experience of knowing the "real" you, without drugs.  I hope the same thing for YOU.  Please, please feel free to email me.

Answer 10

Since no one has really answered your question, I'm going to take a stab at it. They probably will want some medical info on your mother in that they will want to know that she is physically able to care for an infant. In addition, they will want to assess her ability to care for 3 children including a very young one.  This may entail speaking with a psychologist or a counselor. She may even need to take a few simple tests. I think that as the others have stated you need to investigate rehab because what happens if something (heaven forbid) drastic happens to your mother?