International Students: Convincing Parents?

Question

Hello. I'm a HS junior looking to study in the UK (I'm an American citizen). I've done the research, worked up the figures (I have plenty of money for tuition, living expenses, visa and passport fees, and money to fly back on breaks based on my family's budget), and have found several uni's I'm interested in. The problem is, my mother is less than thrilled with this idea. Her reasons are selfish: she doesn't want me to go far away. I've always been an independent person, and as of late (my mother remarried someone I don't get along with, to say the least), my life has been in the shambles, and I need to get away. Not for a few days, for a while. I've got 2 more years here, which is 2 more years of convincing my mother to let me go away for uni. I've got the grades and the requirements to get in to my schools of choice (I have a 3.3 GPA cumulative, am an AP and Honors student, and part time worker), I just need to convince my mother to let go of her little girl. Advice? Thanks

Answer 1

My mom was worried about letting me go as well.  I think it's just a "mother thing" - you know, worried about her "little girl" and all that.   (well, "little boy" in my case - but you get the idea...)

In my situation, I kept telling her how much I wanted to go, and backed it up with working to keep my grades up, as well as trying to raise the money on my own.  Eventually she relented, realizing this was something I didn't just want to do - but HAD to do.  Granted, the first time I went, I was about your age, but it was with a group of my classmates, and a couple of teachers, and we only went for 3 weeks.  The second time, I went abroad, it was by myself essentially, and was for a whole year - no trips back in between.  The idea of not being home for Christmas was the hardest for her to accept.

She got over it.  So much so, that when my youngest sister wanted to go to Spain for the summer, mom's response was "You'll be gone for the summer?!  Where do I sign?"

Anyways, for you, why not see about just doing a summer program abroad?  There are plenty for high school students and they place you in a family with a student your age.  They aren't particularly expensive either.  This would help you mom ease into the fact that you are growing up, and will very shortly be leaving to start living on your own.

Good luck.

Answer 2

did u try telling her why you wanted to go...if still no

just do whatever you really want to do

because a good mother in the end will always love you

Answer 3

You should make sure to show her all the work you've done to figure this out on your own and plan what you are going to do.  It might be easier for her to let you go if she can see how mature you've been in the planning process.  It's always difficult for parents when their children go away, but try to reassure your mother that you care about her, but would like to do this for yourself.  Good luck!

Answer 4

To be honest, if you have the money and don't have to ask your mother for it -- there is no need for her permission. You are an adult, apply and go. Be blunt with her.

However, if your ONLY reason for studying abroad is you don't like your stepfather, just move out of the house -- it's cheaper and easier.

As to going to the UK; I've nothing against the place, but one of the primary benefits of an exchange is language immersion. Why limit yourself to an English speaking country?