Intimidating/flirting eyes?

Question

I have been told that my eyes are either too intimidating or that I am flirting because I continuously hold eye contact.

When I was a little kid, at about 3, I would get in trouble if I didn't look people in the eye when they spoke to me.

Should I break the habit or maintain it?

Or is it just my eyes that are freaky?

Pic:

http://s160.photobucket.com/albums/t165/killerkitty_album/

I always thought that eye contact during communication was respectful. However, I recently read that it is perceived as flirting.

Answer 1

You should keep it.  There is nothing wrong with your eyes.  Just make sure you don't stare at people.  Maintaining eye contact and staring are 2 different things.

Answer 2

it is polite to pay attention to what people are saying bye looking them in the eye. Maintain it,

Answer 3

Mantain it!

Answer 4

Yes, it is polite, as well as respectful, to maintain eye contact during a conversation.  However, one must differentiate between polite eye contact, and an intimidating glare during a confrontation, or an affectionate gaze of desire.

Like body language, tone of voice, and inflection of speech, eye contact, to a large degree, often, is not under our cognitive control; it is under our emotional control.

Maybe, you need to temper your eye contact, when you are being assertive.  A rigid glare, is appropriate, when you are confronting an intruder into your home, but not when a hotel clerk, can't find your reservation.

In regard to flirting, consider being more conscious of your actions, i.e., flirt anytime you choose, just be sure you are choosing to flirt.

Lastly, eye contact, like body language, tone of voice, and inflection of speech, is subjectively interpreted, in a cultural context.  A neighbor, once interpreted my eye contact as a sexual overture.  However, she thought better of it, when she saw, I made the same eye contact with her husband.  The fact is, I did find her attractive, and to some degree the emotion may have come through.

I wasn't able to view your photograph.  However, I don't think the physical aspect of your eyes are a factor; it is all about how you use them.

Answer 5

You have pretty eyes.  It is respectful to keep eye contact with someone you're talking with.  Unless you're sending other signals, there's no reason why they should think you're flirting.  They probably just think you're pretty and are reacting to that.

Answer 6

maintaining eye contact shows respect and that you are paying attention -that you are totally focused on what they are saying. I see nothing wrong in it and if someone else perceives it as flirting, that's probably just what they want to see and that's their problem!

Answer 7

You have been told wrong.

Answer 8

I couldn't view your pic, but i believe t is better to be intimidating and flirty than passive and boring. I'd use it to your advantage ;)