Is it right? this letter.?

Question

Subject: Office space vacant - regarding

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to inform you that we may provide the office space (one wing) at 12th floor. This office space will be available for your company very soon (the wing, currently occupied by the Canadian Embassy). The rental charges will QR.42,000/- month.

Kindly reply with your acknowledgment and confirmation,

Answer 1

'May' is wrong if you are definitely going to be able to provide the office space, because it means only might decide to or maybe.  If it is the definite idea that you want change 'may' to 'can'.

Looks okay apart from that, except that you don't need a comma after 'wing'.

Answer 2

It's very nice

i really like the description.

Answer 3

if u think it is right,then it is right

Answer 4

i think

Answer 5

write it like this

                   Dear Sir,

                                       We are pleased to innform you that we can provide the office space (which is one wing)on the12th floor. This office space will be avaiable for you and your company very soon,this wing is currently preoccupied by the Candian Embassy.the rentel charges will be QR>42,000/-a month.

                thank you for your coaparation  

please reply as soon as possible

and then you write from whoever and write it this way

Answer 6

We can provide the office space on the 12th floor.

The wing is currently occupied....

Please reply....

Answer 7

No! No! No! Do not change 'may' to 'can'.

Instead, listen to your resident pedant (me, lol!).

Instead of saying 'we may provide the office space' (which means maybe we will, maybe we won't), it needs to be something along the lines of: 'we will provide the office space'.

What it should *not* say is 'we can provide the office space'...that would mean the letter is saying: 'yes, we have available office space; and, yes, we could provide you with the office space'.

What the letter does not say (by using 'can') is that they are actually going to go ahead and let you use the office space they have.

In order to communicate that firm intent, it has to be *will*, not *can*.

Otherwise you could use something like 'we can offer you office space on the12th floor (one wing)' (just not 'can' unqualified!).

Or even 'we have office space available on the 12th floor of our building (one wing)'

Personally, if I was to write this letter, I'd go with something more like:

Dear Sir,

We are pleased to inform you that we will shortly have the office space you require available on the 12th floor of our building.

If you should wish to proceed and move into this accomodation, the rental charges will be QR.42,000/- month.

Although currently occupied by the Canadian Embassy, this office space will shortly become available and, if you so desire, I would be happy to reserve it on your behalf.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding your decision in this matter.

Yours faithfully

Bob Jones

(faithfully, not sincerely! You should only ever use 'sincerely' when you address the letter to the person by name)