Is my dad being unreasonable?

Question

When I was 12, my dad unexpectedly bought me a puppy, not for my birthday or christmas, or anything, just randomly. I didn't ask for it, at least not more than any other 12 year old would (maybe saying oh, i wish i had a dog), but i didn't flat out ask for it. I was only 12, so i obviously wasn't going to pay for the dog's expenses. I am now 16, with a part-time job trying to save for college, and my dad expects me to pay for my dog: vet bills, medications, supplies, etc. I don't mind helping out, but i never asked for the dog and it is really putting a dent in my savings. I don't even live with my dad (where the dog is). I just go there on a split-custody schedule. Sometimes i think it's his wife who convinces him to do some things. Am i wrong in thinking my dad is being unreasonable, like i said i don't mind helping out but i can't afford to be paying for my dog...but i am planning on taking it with me when i move out. What i wonder is whether he would make me pay if i didn't have a job; my brother didn't get his first job until he got out of college. Is my dad being unreasonable?

Answer 1

well personally i dont think you should be paying for it until it lives with you and you should acually go confront your dad and ask him why he is making you pay then you will know and then be able to fully decide whether hes being unresionable  

Answer 2

I believe he is ... sit down and talk to him..or tell his wife to talk to him if your close to her..thats very unreasonable and it isnt fair if you didnt ask for one in the first place!

Answer 3

i dont think he's being unreasonable. i think that he's trtying to teach you some lessons about life and that rather than learning the lessons, you're posting about the situation on Y!A.

Answer 4

If the dog is currently in his care, you shouldn't have to pay full expenses for it. That would be completely illogical. Although, if the dog is yours, you should have to at least help out with its expenses. When you move out, and you're the one who is caring for the dog, then I think you should be the one who pays for everything. But, until then, yes your dad is being unreasonable.

Answer 5

your dad got you the puppy. its done. you need ta just deal w it now,its  your responsability. ask for help sometimes when you need him to help but quit winining,quit blaming your dad and grow up

Answer 6

Yes, your dad is definitely being unreasonable. You're not even out of high school yet, how can he expect you to pay for all the doggy's expenses. Just tell your dad you don't have the money. It sounds like your dad feels that the doggy is a burden to him. Is there any way you can take the dog back, and have your mom help you out with expenses?

Answer 7

Yes, he is! Did you ask him why he bought the dog in the first place? He should pay for the dog too, its living at his house! If you're annoyed with what he's making you do, don't pay for anything. Or convince your mom or dad to help you out with paying for the dog.  

Answer 8

no your dad isn't unreasonable if you're the one planning on taking the dog with you when you move out.. so obviously you want it. why don't you keep the dog at home? that makes way more sense

Answer 9

I think so, but maybe he thinks it will teach you more responsibility though. My daughter works part-time and I never thought about her paying for the animals.  

Answer 10

why not take the dog to your moms house then if you have to pay for that stuff,if he said that to me I would be like okay then the dog is coming to where I love....yeah thats strange

Answer 11

he got you the dog to make you happy. I'm sure it did. you said you will be taking it with you . and it is your dog. i don't think it is unreasonable to ask. if you find you don't want the responsibility. then find him a new home.

Answer 12

It depends on his intentions... he may just be teaching "responsibility" Whether its the way you want to be taught or not- whether its the best way or not!

Answer 13

Ask him this same question personally, including all the details you have included here. His wife doesn't have to be in the room, but don't make a point of excluding her, as she WILL come up. If you have reason to believe things might turn violent, have a police officer standing by.

Answer 14

WOW! I would tell him " I will pay for the dog if you pay for my schooling because I can't do both" and see what he says...

Answer 15

I think that is unreasonable. Maybe you should tell your dad you don't want the dog.

Answer 16

Yeah

you shouldn't have to pay for it till your 18 just tell him that

and tell him your young and you need the money

Answer 17

Well, your dad is being unreasonable for having you pay for the dog's expenses. You're 16, going to school & working part-time ..the last thing you want is for all your earnings to go down the drain. It would be reasonable for your dad if he helped out with the dogs expenses --especially the more expensive stuff like the vet bills! Since you are working part-time, your check is barely enough for you to enjoy it and take care of the dog. From your dad's perspective, he's probably assuming that since you have a job ..you're technically financially responsible enough to take care of the dog all by yourself & just preparing you for when you have the dog all to yourself. You need to tell your dad your situation --in hopes that he understands where you're coming from. I'm in a similar situation as you, but me and my dad pretty much split the expenses. I pay for the dog food, treats, toys --which are monthly expenses. And my dad pays for the vet bills & any needed medication. That's how things should be set up with you and your father --maybe less expenses on your part of course. To sum it, yes you're father is being unreasonable. But the dog is still technically yours and don't use the excuse "I didn't initially want him" because you know..at the end of the day ..you love your dog :]

Answer 18

I wouldn't say that he's being unreasonable. It is your dog, and you plan on taking it with you. However, explain to him that finances are tight and you're trying to save money, and you'd appreciate it if he helped you a little bit with the dog expenses until you can take him with you. That way you're still contributing but not going broke, and you're asking him for a favor, rather than demanding he pay for all of your dog's expenses.

Answer 19

I think he is just trying to teach you some responsibilities. And even if it's the step-mom who is feeding these ideas into his head, good for her. Good for your dad.

It's good to learn these things at a young age. I thank my mom for doing it!!

:) I am more responsible now. :)

Answer 20

he is a little but if you love your dog then i suppose you will have to pay

say to your dad about how you never wanted it really and that he should have been more responsible than to get you a dog of your own at that age unless you were prepared to pay for it

Answer 21

why don't you just talk about it with your dad. tell him that the dog's expenses are to much for you right now and that you would rather use the money to save for college.

i'm sure he'll understand

Answer 22

In my opinion your dad is being unreasonable considering your age and circumstances. It sounds like he doesn't want the dog around and that is the problem. Perhaps you can do everyone a favor by finding the dog a new home.

Answer 23

Well, I would talk to him about it. Tell him that you didn't ask for the dog. When you say that, tell him that you're glad that he bought it for you too, as you don't want him to feel bad. Tell him that you don't think that you should be responsible for the dog. Tell him how much you love the dog too.

Why don't you talk to your dad about it instead of asking a question.  

Answer 24

I wouldn't make my child pay for it even if she had begged for the dog.  If i ever did decide to make her pay for something like a dog or car insurance i would just put the money in a savings account for her for college. I have a dog he is small but he doesnt cost that much -- why does your dad say he cant or wont pay for it?

Answer 25

I think it would be more reasonable if you split the bills.  However, every family is different.  Perhaps your dad is in dire financial straits and can't afford the bills either.  You should talk to him about it in an adult manner.  Explain your side and listen to his.  Maybe you can reach a mutual compromise.

Answer 26

I think he is being very unreasonable because he was the one who bought u the dog and ur still only 16 and have other things to worry about then a dog that doesnt even live with u. u should tell ur dad that if he lives with the dog he needs to pay for all the exspences since u only see on a schedule thing.

Answer 27

Your dad sounds like a cheap b a s t  a r d.   He's the adult he should pay for the dog's vet bills.  He should pay for your college education too.

Answer 28

Yes he is being a bit unreasonable but thats how parents are some times and you have to live with it.

Tell him that you like the dog but you didn't ask for a dog along with vet bills ect.

I'm not saying you should let the dog go, take it with you and see what you can do.

Answer 29

That's quite unreasonable i mean its true that you should have some responsibility towards the dog but id have said things like walking feeding etc. have you tried telling him how its affecting you?

Answer 30

Yes, your dad seem's to be very understandable under the circumstances you provided.  You never agreed to help pay for the expenses when you were 12...If I were you I would go to your dad and say look...I understand that you got the dog for me but I never agreed on paying any bills, etc.  

Answer 31

yes he should be willing to help at least till you take teh dog out of there. if you dont want to talk to him about it send him this letter you wrote with all the responces from us