Question:

Is my poem peaceful?

by  |  earlier

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when my hoofs meet the ground it sounds like a roar of thunder.

my heart beats faster with every stride I take.

im running with the wind,the wind pushing me even faster.

im free I have no master to ride me.

I push myself faster and faster my veins filling with excitment.

im not tiered I never get tiered I could run all the time.

with my heart as mighty as the mighty blue waves that crash along the shore.

my mane as wild as the wild growing grasses free in the wind.

I am a wild horse and no one can stop me I will never be stoped.

im as free as the stars in the night sky I will never be captured!

its not so much a poem just a thing that I came up with right now.

do you think it is peaceful?

dont be too critical plz im not trying to be all professional ok.

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3 ANSWERS


  1. I liked it very much.


  2. Some great imagery there...but is your poem suppossed to evoke a peaceful image of like a serene setting with a horse quietly standing? With lines like this i felt the opposite actually.....

    "when my hoofs meet the ground it sounds like a roar of thunder.

    my heart beats faster with every stride I take.

    im running with the wind,the wind pushing me even faster.

    im free I have no master to ride me.

    I push myself faster and faster my veins filling with excitment."

    that gave it a sense of urgency and full throttle action....to answer your question, No your poem was not peaceful. But it wasn't bad by any means, very nice imagery evoked.

  3. I think you did a great job and set a very good scene.

    I don't think it was peaceful.

    "I push myself faster and faster my veins filling with excitement.

    im not tiered I never get tiered I could run all the time.

    with my heart as mighty as the mighty blue waves that crash along the shore."

    Lines like this give me a sense of fast paced action like an adernaline rush , HEY are you sure is poem isnt about drugs,You silly clown!

    I would use words like appease,Harmony,serene,Tranquil,

    to describe feeling peaceful.

    Try to evoke a feeling of isolation.

    People are usually peaceful when they dismiss the things causing their problems. Take them to a place noone knows about!?

    I though it was good,keep it up.
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