Is parenting really that bad?

Question

My hubby and I are not yet ready for kids but are excited to be parents someday but I get really scared that we're too excited and looking past how hard it will be. I see some people that are great parents and they love it and others who want to kill themselves and have terrible children. My older sister had her first baby in March and is doing great with her...almost as a single mom even though shes married...her hubby just doesn't care. I know it won't always be fun and easy but how do you keep it from getting to you and ruining your relationship with your spouse? Having kids is all I want, but I don't want to regret it once I do have them and I can't handle it. HELP! I dont want to be afraid to raise my own kids.

Answer 1

What you need to know is that parenting is all about thinking about the big picture and more importantly following your instincts.  There are the "bad" sides of parenting I guess.  Kids can misbehave and not listen to you, but they can also be cute and cuddly.  I would try to fight as little as possible with your hubby.  Don't let the little things get to you, because that can be deadly.

Don't be afraid of raising your own kids.  Being a mommy is incredible and it sounds like you will really enjoy it!  

Good luck with everything and feel free to contact me if you have any questions

Answer 2

Parenting is hard work.  It's a great challenge. There are rewards and there are costs.

If a couple wants to be parents, then they will find the rewards to be worth all the costs.  If they don't want to be parents, then they will view things differently.

Just be aware that it's not all Kodak moments and sunshine, and you'll do great.

Answer 3

You will NEVER regret you kids.  EVER.  It can be a lot of work, having children, but you will never regret having them.  Mine are everything to me.

Answer 4

Having a child is the most wonderful experience I have ever had. Having a child with your husband is an unbreakable bond. My husbad and I got closer when we had our son. You have nothing to worrry about the love you feel for your child will out weigh any worries you may have.

Answer 5

You love your kids in a way you didn't even know you could love someone.  That's what keeps you from getting worn down when times are rough.  Sure, there are late nights and teething woes with babies, bad habits and mean phases with older kids.  But when you love someone the way moms love their kids, you wouldn't trade it for anything.  It's not always easy, but you find a way keep it together because you love your kids.

I have two kids and the most important things I've learned are:  

1) Mom and Dad are a TEAM.  When both parents are living in the home, they have to work together and compromise.  Kids pick up on tension better than most people realize and they will act out if they're feeling insecure.  Dad also needs to be prepared for mom to be kind of crazy during her pregnancy and for a few months afterward. Hormones are brutal like that.

2)  Being a parent means giving up a lot of yourself.  You're still you, but you're also your kids' whole world.  The kids always come first.  Always.  Sacrifice becomes a constant part of your life.  But when your 2 year old, out of nowhere, hugs your legs and says, "Love you, Mommy!" you can't think of anything your wouldn't give up for that.

3)  Scary as it is, you're responsible for the life of another human being.  You can never take this responsibility lightly.  Everything from what your child eats to what kind of shoes she wears to her understanding of right and wrong is ultimately up to you.  Everything is like a ripple on a pond with young kids.  Even the smallest thing has an impact on the person your child will become.    

If you read all that and it didn't scare you too much, you're probably ready to take on the challenge.  You seem like the kind of person who thinks things through, which, in regards to having kids, is a wonderful attribute.  I think you'll be a great mom someday (sooner or later) and I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

For my husband and I it's been an easy and naturally transition into parenthood. A lot of people on here are constatly making it sound horrible. I don't get it, it isn't rocket science to want kids and enjoy having them. The old saying "love your job and you'll never work a day in your life", is the way I look at it. I guess some people wanted kids, but didn't want to be parents!? I don't know, it makes 0 sense to me, or my husband. We have no desire to be off "hanging out", or worrying about "me" time, ect. We wanted kids, we have kids, we raise our kids, and enjoy our kids, and that is simply that lol.

I'd not pay any mind to the horror stories. They are no different than the same ones you hear on all subjects. Everyone fussing about "the economy is so bad".(and calling this a "depression" HA thats a total joke! Obviously these people haven't ever lived through a depression like back in the 30's.)...well same thing, not effecting us at all. We spend the same as we always have...very conservatively. Oh, sorry we adopted a kitten for $40 a couple weeks ago. Thats been our splurge the last 4-6 months. lol.

Same as the pain of childbirth being claimes as "the most painful thing you could ever go through"...well I'd like to raise my hand to call bull$hit on that one too. I slammed a finger in a car door as a kid, and that hurt a heck of a lot worse...especially when the fingernail ripped off when I yanked my hand back. My appendectomy was much more painfull as well...from an 11 year old memory of the pain after surgery. No epidurals, just staying calm and relaxed durring birth. it was a walk in the park compared to A LOT of things I could imagine happenning. (like a limb severed, or getting stabbed or shot, or getting set on fire...those would hurt worse than the natural act of childbirth.

People overexagerate everything, just to try to scare people.

So you see, it's all in how you look at life. Think, speak, and act for yourself, to your own standards. Most of the rest of the people are worried about who thinks what, or who will say what. Do what you do, and succeed at it. Then you have the right to laugh at anyone that makes life out to be so darn miserable.

Answer 7

Its deffinatly hard at times. But really if you think about it, if it was that bad no one would have more than one child. There have been moments when I've felt like I want to scream, when I've questioned our decision and when I have honestly doubted my sanity when I chose to marry my husband (I know, I'm making sound fantastic right?). But you know what, I wouldn't change it for the world. There are ups and downs, the same as there are with anything in life. The good part is that the good moments always seem to outweight the bad moments (although maybe not right at the time of the bad moments). Its a huge responsibility but I have not found anything that 'gives back' as much as having children and a family. Its alot of fun, happyness, smiles, proud moments and a TON of love. Its also alot of tears, stress, worry and work but I can honestly say I have never once regretted a minuite of it (and that includes the 'bad moments').

Answer 8

It's not bad. It's challenging, but all challenges come with rewards...the happiness of your little family and the smiles on your children's faces.

Dont' be afraid. There is no manual, but there are plenty of people to guide you.

Answer 9

It depends on how you look at life and your relationship. if you feel that the reason things are bad is becuase of children, there will be resentment to them. but if you do not see it like that then you will not have any hard feeling to the children. as long as your relationship is strong you will have o problems.

Answer 10

Parenting is great...Ur children only turn out how u bring them up...Yes most kids go thru terrible 2's but its nothing too bad that cant be sorted and it dont last forever. My daughter is 10mnths and has never been a problem and iv never once complained about the sleepless nights or her teething or her clingyness. Thats the whole part of been a parent. I love my daughter more than life itself and i will bring her up as best i can..I think that children who are treated right like not smacked turn out fine...Go for it...its the best job in the world.

Answer 11

start caring for potatoes, then work your way up from goldfish

Answer 12

An answer to your important question.

Please call with any problem, anytime:

Girls and Boys Town "National Hotline"

Phone: [phone]  (toll free)

Email: [e-mail]

Answer 13

People handle raising children differently. Since you want children you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Yes they can be a chore. But its the hardest job you'll ever love. You really can't know how your spouse will be with your children unless you spend a lot of time around children.

Sounds like you have a solid basis for a family. I wouldn't worry about it too much. After you have children you'll wonder what life was like without. They can be pretty cool.

Answer 14

you never know how your going to be at parenting until it happens, as a teenage girl i looked after various family members children  from newborn upwards sometimes for several days at a time  and really enjoyed it this led me to believe that i would be a fantastic mother and would cope really well

but i have to say how different it is with my own children maybe because its continuosly day in day out or maybe im not as laid back as i was in my teenage years all i can say is being a parent can be very hard at times and changes you dramatically but the love for your child is like youve never experienced before

Answer 15

It is not bad because we get the knowledge with the time and love. The main thing is the feeling you will have at  the moment you find out that you are pregnant. when you feel the baby inside of you its amazing. In my personal opinion is one of the greatest moments a woman can have is the birth of her little ones. To end this let me tell you the feeling you have when they smile at you is gorgeous. Don't be afraid because kids are lovely.