Is this paranoia? Please help...?

Question

Ok, so first of all I have to say that I do have ocd, bipolar, and schizotypal personality disorder, and some other anxiety and mood disorders. Anyway, becuase of my ocd I'm obsessed with contracting HIV. Lately I've been getting these "Inappropriate feelings" about that, I don't want to say what though. Anyway, I don't know if I have these feelings or whatever becuase of my schizotypal, but at the same time I find these thoughts and feelings really distressing. I think one way about them and then I get completely scared and paranoid that I'm going to make something happen just by thinking about it. Now I'm paranoid that situations are being set up so I contract it or something. I'm terrified. I just started my first day of college today and I met this one guy and I was very suspicious of him. I just got a bad vibe from him and he kept wanting to touch me, like shake my hand or rub my back. Anyway, I'm scared that he's gonna give me something horrible oor rape me or something because I think situations are being set up because of the way I obsess over this illness and contracting it. I don't understand why I have these strange thoughts and feelings. but all I know is that I'm terrified at the same time. Does this sound like paranoia to you? Do you think these inappropriate feelings could be due to my schizotypal and ocd? They're really distressing at the same time and I don't understand why I'm thinking/feeling this way. I feel like a horrible person at the same time. I'm always praying to God to forgive me for them and to make sure that they never happen and to protect me and my loved one's from them. And that I don't understand why I'm feeling this way, but I'm still really fearful. I feel like something is out to get me. Sorry if this was confusing.

Thanks!

Answer 1

This is not confusing, you need to see a doctor and request Zoloft, it works great for most people with OCD and obsessive thoughts. It kind of derails them mentally. Best of luck.  

Answer 2

It sounds a lot like it's just his personality. A lot of people are very hands on but don't notice it because it's natural to them. It does however make a lot of people (myself included) feel a bit uncomfortable. I doubt he wants to harm you at all, it sounds like he just wants to be friends with you.

If you get a bad vibe from him avoid being in a situation where you're completely alone with him until you feel more comfortable around him. You've only just started college though so there's plenty of time to make new friends if you decide you don't want to hang around with him or it's too difficult for you.

You may just be on edge because you're in a new environment with new people, once you settle in things will get easier.

Good luck, hope this helps  

Answer 3

It doesn't sound like a normal thought process to me, but hey, what is normal?  Get yourself HIV tested first and foremost to ensure that you are clean.  Ensure that you use condoms all the time to protect yourself.  Take precautions.   Talk to your family doctor/therapist about your thoughts and try to understand that they are irrational.  Do breathing and relaxation exercises to calm yourself down.  I hope this helps you.  

Answer 4

I think your best course of action is to speak with your mental health provider about this situation. It can be your issues that are making what would be a normal fear into a major paranoia. Please seek out help immediately as this feeling can lead to very destructive behavior. Take good care and I hope this helped.