Is this sexist or old fashioned

Question

my mom says that when i grow up i gotta clean up after my husband and cook his meals and that i should do all the house chores (i have to do all the chores at my house right now im 13) shes trying to make it seem like i should be his slave, kinda, and that i should be dependent of him. and my daddy disagrees he says im not gonna be cleaning up after some a$$ hole and that im not a slave and i should be dependent

who is right my daddy or my mom?

is any of this sexist?

Answer 1

A little of both. You shouldn't be expected to do all of the house work that should be a shared responsibility ,but if he had a long day at work ( if you don't work ) then why not clean up. Just have your own take on it.  

Answer 2

your mom is dumb. she's just using that as an excuse to get you to do the chores. when you move out i gaurentee a guy will not leave you becuase ou don't do his slave work, so don't worry about it just do what you gotta do now and then when you move out be like...ha...no.  

Answer 3

Well, you don't have to, exactly. Not to be sexist, but men can get pretty messy, and sometimes they don't pick it up, so you will get tired of looking at it and just do it. Yes, I cook every night,but I don't have to I choose to. It's up to you. You will pick the man you want to be with for the rest of you're life, so it is all up to you. It is kind of sexist for your mother to say that because she shouldn't want you to be a slave for rest of your life.

Answer 4

it sexism. your father is right, many problems could come up be doing what your mom says.

the guy could hit you but you would still have to do everything and if he leaves you you would have to go to your parents or find some other help. its good to know chores but it is also good to have a career.

Answer 5

The question is, what do you prefer doing?  It's all relative, just do whichever one you feel most comfortable about.  If you want to be a housewife, go ahead!  If you want to be independent, it's your choice.  Just depends on what you want.  Some things aren't as black and white as right and wrong.  

However, both parents seems a bit forceful on you.  Think for yourself for a change.

Answer 6

Dad is,  You can do dishes but only if he does them too. I do laundry, but I tell my man I wont do it if it is not on the basket. I wont pick up after any grown man. If he needs someone to pick up after him tell him to call his mom.

Answer 7

Look, you're living in 21st Century United States of America.   Men brought up in the USS are generally not expecting their wife to be picking up after them anyway.  There is no slavery anymore.  I think that the  husband and wife should be able to come to a decent, fair solution as to who cooks, cleans, etc.  Both of you will probably be working outside the home, so  each person will have to PULL HIS HER OWN SHARE OF THE LOAD!  Now, what you have to do is:  go to school, H. School, then college, get a a degree and be able to get your own job and be independent, if need be, and your potential mate will see that you are independent.  Don't accept less from him.   Good luck!!

Answer 8

You are so young....and there are sooooo many things you need to learn yet.

I'm wondering..does your mom do all these things for your dad?? If not, seems like a "do as i say, not as i do" situation.

When you're older and you meet the man you're going to spend your life with, the two of you will work things out so each of you can be happy with your living arrangement. No person should be another's slave, and every woman needs to be able to depend on herself for what she needs. Take what your mother is saying with a "grain of salt", and also your dad. You'll get it worked out when you need to.

Good luck!!

Answer 9

Your mom is still stuck in the 1950s.  You should be independent for a while before you enter into any kind of live-in relationship.  Remember, 10 years from now, stand up for yourself.  Do not let an SO bully you into doing all the housework while he sits on his butt.

uu

Answer 10

its not sexist, its just how most families do things. the husband normaly does more manual labor, while the wife does more cooking and cleaning.

Answer 11

Its all in what you want you want to do. by all means if your man is out there working hard, paying the bills, and being faithful to you then staying home and doing a little laundry and cooking dinner for him is a great trade off. But if you are not a domestic type of girl go out and work all week. But there is no one thats not a slave to bills.

Answer 12

Well for now listen to your dad.  When you grow up and it comes up you do whatever you feel is right for you.  Yes your mom is extremely old fashioned AND sexist.  They go hand in hand.  You make up your own mind what you want out of your relationships and dont let anyone tell you how it "ought to be."

Answer 13

your mom is totally sexist and old fashioned...look you gotta live for you...don't listen to anyone..follow your dreams. if that means pursuing a career then do it or if staying at home...whatever makes you happy..but you SHOULD NEVER let someone get in the way of you dreams and aspirations.....

Answer 14

it's a little of both. your mom probably thinks about things in the old traditional ways, where she had to do a lot of cleaning and cooking. but it's the 21st century, and men and women are equal. i agree with your dad; you're not gonna be cleaning up after a man and you're not a slave. husband and wife should share the responsibilities of the household in order to maintain a good marriage.

and, not to be mean to guys, but in most marriages today, women are the ones who are in control of the marriage.

Hope that helps.

And as to who is right, it's your view that counts. What do you agree with more?

Answer 15

until your 18 you have to follow your parents rules. do i think its sexist? only you can answer that. I have a mother, i dont need another one. one's actions will give the path of their childrens. its up to you if you wanna clean up after ur husband. not your parents choice.....my answer is, it should be a 50/50 relationship...give and take...not more or less than the other........

ur 13. u have to do chores. but if ur doing chores now, ur mother is treating u as a slave per-say. right? so who is doing the right and wrong thing.........

i think ur pops is the man, and i agree with him.  

Answer 16

I would have to say old fashioned.  It's not fair, but the wife handles those kinds of things a lot better.  If a husband tried to use an oven, your house may end up in pieces.  That's why a modern day mom is known as "super" moms, because they have to work and do all those things you named.

Answer 17

They are both right.

Men and women theoretically share housework.  But the fact of the matter is that women do the large majority of it.

Answer 18

thats bull sh*t im not gonna do all that for my husband when i get married. its a two way relationship not a one way where youre the slave. thats sexist and things they used to do a long time ago. dont let your husband boss you around

Answer 19

Biblically....the woman's role is to love her husband and care for the household and family and that includes purchasing property and making money from your investments..the man's role is to financially provide for the family and appreciate his woman

Answer 20

I'd say both. It is sexest bc u and ur spouse need to split everything 50/50. It is old fashioned bc the idea of being barefoot and prego in the kitchen are a thing of the past. A lot of women make more than men do and some men cook great.

My husband and I have twin 2 yr old daughters and we do everything together. He even cleans the toilet and bathes the girls and I do the lawn. Life has changed. Most of the time both parents work full time and then when they come home they have to work together to get done what needs to be.

(make ur feelings known to your spouse early in the relationship and it will be easier later.)

Parents are entitled to their opinions...

Answer 21

its so sexist. a woman should never have to do what ur mom thinks she has to do. listen to your dad, he knows what hes talking about. being a woman doesn't mean this at all.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 22

It's very old fashioned, but that's just the way your mother was brought up and she believes she needs to teach you the same. A successful and happy marriage is when both parties share the household duties. Making some one the ONLY person doing it, make the person feel like a slave and becomes resentful and the other person is just being lazy.... Not cool.

Don't worry about it now, you're 13. You have your whole life in front of you, you shouldn't be even thinking about a husband. Say that to your mom next time she mentions that to you..

Answer 23

i don't think its really sexist, it is just the way she was raised. your dad is like my mom, in this subject. what you need to do is be dependent on yourself. get a good education so in case anything happens, you will be able to get yourself a good future. One day i do want to get married and take care of my hubby, but not like a slave, it is totally you decision, go with your heart.

Answer 24

ok that is old fashioned, i mean i like to cook, id share the work with my girl and id help with the chores. a marriage should be a win,win sitchuation. not slave and owner hope that helped

teen who is tired of his parents

Answer 25

It is really both. Your father is completely right. That is not how it should be. They should help once in a while. Watch 'The Break Up' it's a movie pretty much all about that conflict. The strong women in the world would never do what your mother says but the women who want to make their men happy do what she says. if you work you don't let that happen.

Answer 26

You're Dad is right, but then how many of the chores does HE do?

We're still stuck with being in charge of the house, even in this "modern" era.  Either be accustomed to "barking" orders and make everyone in the house pitch in, or get ready to be a slave to a bunch of disrespecting children, including the one you'll be married to.

Answer 27

your dad is right. you do whatever you want to! if you want to clean, then clean, if you want a career, then have a career. do whatever you want to do!!  good luck

Answer 28

First off, at 13 you should know better than using foul language.

You mother is not old school, she is simply gearing you up for the future. It is up to you to decide what to do when the time comes. Dependence is not given, you have to deserve it. Once you have it, believe me, your husband will respect you for that and will not dare treat you like a 'slave'.

Personally, I think you will do fine. Good luck!

Answer 29

i think that both women and men have roles, so when you marry some1 if you want him to be the one who pays the bills u better do what your mom says but actually your husband is supposed to help you in your chores

it´s the way God intended it  

Answer 30

I agree with both in a way. Your dad is trying to say you are not there to be your husband's slave, but at the same turn, your mom is trying to tell you how to be responsible for yourself and your future man. You have to learn how to take care of yourself and keep healthy by cleaning up after yourself and someday others, but in marrages where it's 50/50, the husband helps out too. Especially if the wife also works and/or has kids. It's a two way street but both mean well, just I would of said it differently. I hope this helps! Your mom seems to be a bit old fashioned. I don't think she was being sexist.  

Answer 31

I don't think she's deliberately trying to be sexist (although in my opinion she is wrong) i think somewhere in the middle of both opinions would be about right. no i don't think you should run around after anyone and be made to feel like a slave, and yes you should become a strong independent young woman and have a good career so that you will always have yourself to rely on. however i feel that when you meet someone special you will want to do things for the person you love just the same way he should want to do these things for you. for now don't stress about it focus on enjoying being a teen for as long as you can.