Kindergarten/separation anxiety??

Question

My daughter is in summer school "Kindergarten Readiness" class. She went 5 days last week, she went yesterday, and part of today. She always says she does not want to go, but for no good reason. When I pick her up from school she says she had a good time and is excited to tell me about what she did. today, I had to go pick her up because she was "sick". I took her home and we talked. She is not sick. She missed me. She did not blantantly lie and tell teacher she was sick. Teacher said she "didn't look well, and my daughter clung to the story once she fouind out she may be able to go home. She did not have issues like this at all in pre-school. I remember how sad I was in the beginning of Kindergarten and I feel so badly for her. I need advice on how to handle this. I plan on telling the teacher tomorrow, in front of my daughter, that my daughter was not really sick, that she was home sick and that she (my daughter) didn't know the difference between the two.

Answer 1

I'd say that's the thing to do, and my daughter was the same with play group. I ended up driving past every so often, which put me out of schedule, but playing outside she could see me, and this reassured her, and then as it got to the winter months and she stopped playing outside I didn't need to any more because she'd settled in. She may be anxious because she's shy and feels lonely, and thinks that you stop her feeling like that. Reassure her etc.

It's good that you are dealing with this now in a Readiness class rather than the real thing. I could've done with some of them for mine! Is it at the same school she's going to in September or a kind of club?

Answer 2

maybe if you know any of the other mothers of children in her class you could set up a play date at your house so she can get used to her friend with you around so when she goes to class she will be happy to see her friend. you could also give her a bracelet or something to wear everyday that will remind her of you and how much you love her. another thing that may help is if you write a note and stick it in her lunch box and have the teacher read it to her when she opens her drink or whatever. and if the teacher is annoyed by having to read it just draw a little picture. also i know it can be hard to have your child unhappy but you have to think about what is best for her and definitly tell the teacher because you dont want her to think anytime she misses you she can come home because the realty is once real school starts she cant do it anymore

Answer 3

Tell her that even if she misses you,she needs to stay there to learn. She needs to learn that she can't do that just because she misses you. Also..tell her the story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Tell her that if she keeps saying she is sick when she is not..then one day nobody will belive her. If she does this again just say that you can't pick her up and have her go to the school with some medicine. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 4

she need her mommy more than u need the $$$$$$$$$$$$

Answer 5

Children often pick up on the things we think they don't. If you're feeling anxious about it, she's going to feel anxious about it. If everyone's making a big deal about 'being a big girl' and 'going to a big kid school,' that too, can freak a kid out. She's obviously also a bit homesick. Don't worry too much; every kid goes through it. I did! But maybe if you intermixed school and home she wouldn't have such a difficult transition. Does she have any school friends she'd like to invite over? Are there any activities she does at school she can do at home? Maybe playing school with her might ease up a conversation as to what's wrong. Talk to her teacher about it. That's a good place to start. Good luck!

Answer 6

I hate to think of it. My daughter starts kindergarten this fall and how I WISH we had a kindergarten readiness program where we live!!

I took her to gymnastics yesterday and she didn't want to go in cuz people were looking at her. But she LOVES gymnastics! I walked her in and stayed in the gym but suddenly her tummy hurt and she needed to use the rest-room. When we were in the hall talking, this lady we all know that works at the school as a para came by and asked if SHE could walk with her into the gym and my daughter wanted that.......not an issue after that moment so I'm really confused. I don't know if school will go the same for me as that or what to expect.

Maybe it's just a phase that your daughter is going through or maybe it is separation anxiety. I know some people suggest sending pictures of yourself with your child to help them out through out the day........when they get lonely they can look at the pictures.

So I know I offered you no real advice there, but I really want to watch this question~~maybe someone knows something that will help us both out!

Answer 7

The best thing to do in my oppinion is to stay until she feels confertible she will forget your there and play with other kids!if you leave befor she is comfertible thats all she  will think about!Also i gave my little babby little toys in the car every day to play with at school with her little friens she was alot more confertible!

good luck but remember shell always need you!

Answer 8

My daughter did the same thing when she started school as well. The best thing to do is to not cave in per say and keep her home because she does not want to go... and also definately tell the teacher about what she did about being "home sick" and she will be able to tell when she is faking and when she really is not feeling well. The only thing you really can do is be sure to keep this Kindergarten readiness class as a routine this summer. She should not have any issues going to class when it starts back up.

Answer 9

My daughter was exactly the same....it took her three terms to get used to it.....I used to give her "magic kisses" on her hand....I told her that when she got the "missing Mummy feeling" that she was to remember that a part of me was still there on her hand....it really helped her...also talk to her about it...they donbt understand their emotions at this age...so the sick feeling they get through missing us really confuses them....explain that it is ok to feel like that..everyone does sometimes and call it a name of its own...like I called my daughter "The missing mummy feeling"....it meant she could verbalise the emotion. She now LOVES school...I never believed that would happen even when other Mothers said it would.....but it did. Good luck...you'll get there in the end!

Answer 10

How do YOU feel when you drop her off?

Children can sense parents' nervousness and anxiety.  You need to drop her off like it's no big thing.  And with a QUICK goodbye.