Living with the in-laws?

Question

My fiance wants us to live with his mom when we get married in December. My mom is totally against it. But I really don't have any problem with her but several other people have told me that it's better if we live alone at least for the first year or so. Is it really that bad? I have to tell him soon where I want us to live. What would you decide, and why?

Answer 1

If you can't afford your own place why are you getting married. You should live on your own without anyone meddling in your life. I AGREE WITH YOUR MOM! Don't do it.

Answer 2

It's hard enough to adjust from being a single person to being a permanent couple, don't add a third person to the mix, it's just a recipe for disaster.  Think about it, you two will be learning more about each other, even though you may spend tons of time together now, you don't spent every waking moment except for work together.  When you get married you will be learning to cook every day, do laundry, housework, go to work or school, and you will both be learning to think of each other before getting together with friends or family.  There is just a lot going on in the first year of a couple's life, don't add problems to adjustments which are often difficult to begin with.  Good luck and God Bless your marriage.

Answer 3

Oh no. The first years especially are a very precious time of your life and you want to have your own place. If you get along with your MIL especially, just keep that and get a place of your own. You need to be able to live together as a couple and you will still be learning about each other as you move in your home so don't live with anyone. The only time I would suggest that is if it is an urgent situation and then only for a very short time. But you don't have to so don't do it. You really would be sorry in the end. It could affect not just your relationship with him but with your MIL as well. Get your own place and decorate, have fun and make it your home! Best of luck!

Answer 4

Living with the in-laws turned out to be the most horrible time  of my life. MIL was very nice for a week or so and then turned into a controlling, manipulative monster who made our lives miserable. Don't do it! If you get along with your in-laws now, keep it that way by not moving in with them.

Answer 5

Don't ever live with the in-laws.  You two need to establish your own marriage in your own home.  Starting out married life while living with in-laws would be like staying little children.  Your fiance needs to separate from his mother and be your husband.  Don't start your marriage as weak people who have to be provided a home.

Answer 6

Forever and Ever, I have heard it said many times that it is pretty difficult to have two ladies living under the same roof.  And I'm not trying to sound like a sexist but this is what I've heard.  If you two feel that it would be best for first year in order to save some money for your first house then I can see no problem with it.  But if it is just to live somewhere where you will have no responsibility then it would be totally unfair to your in-laws.  Besides you both having very strong interest in what this man you are going to marry this may also create conflicts.  If the house is designed so that you both can have privacy it would be a lot better.  In addition it would be important that you pay your own way and not rely on them for everything at no cost.  Perhaps the three of you should sit down and have a good open minded and mature conversation about expectations etc. before making such a big life changing answer.  Best of luck in your new marriage and making a wise decision regarding living arrangements.

Answer 7

Ive given everyone a thumbs up here because we ALL know the right thing to do here.  Also I starred your question...All this at the risk of cutting my own stones but listen...We are all the FAMILY of MAN...so don't go biblical on me, however...two familys under one roof for any amount of time other than a local disaster...ie; fire burnout, tornado rubble, Katrina kin, flood out...makes for an undesireable situation in no time a'tall.  Your mom has a reason to be totally against it...she knows.....like the shadow...Two women vieing for the same man's affections...two cooks in the stew pot...two women fighting over menstral cycle dominance....these are but a few of the ingredients in "trial separations, legal separations, and last but not least..."the D word".  this isn't to say that it worn't work dear...this is playing the odds.  If you go to Vegas with 500.00.  Would you take it all on the roulette wheel, and spin the wheel for a Green Double Zero?  No, of course not...so listen to people that have spent there wad at that very wheel.  Good luck with your new life...together.....alone....together...... your husband.....alone......

Answer 8

get a place by yourself! the first year is the hardest for a newly married couple! Unless you absolutly have to dont do it

Answer 9

If you are thinking about doing this because of financial reasons then it is up to you.  Just know that it is difficult the first year or so to adjust to married life, the chores, the cooking etc.  You also have a sexual relationship here and living with your inlaws is not a good idea.  Living with your mother in law might not be bad but it is difficult when you put everything into a package .  Its up to you but think hard on it before you make a decision.