Long gap between children..

Question

i would some peoples opinions on having long gaps between children, say between 9-11 years... i have one child who is 8, and often wonder whether ive left it too late to have another, i used to feel its better to have them close in age rather than far apart....im only 25, so its plausable i could have another age 35, but my son would then be 18... anyone been in these situations and felt they were positive or negative? thanks

Answer 1

My aunt is 9 years older than my dad... She was stuck babysitting him through her teens--- and she still brings it up and they're in their 40's and 50's now haha.

Just don't leave the elder child babysitting all the time!!

Answer 2

My eldest is 7, then I have a 4 year old then a 2 year old, and surprisingly the 7 and 2 year old get along famously, and the 7 and 4 year, and the 4 and 2 year old fight terribly. So really, a large gap is not always a bad thing.

Answer 3

It isnt so bad, i dont have any children yet, but my family is a range of numbers. my sister and I are only 1 yr 1/2 apart and my brother and i are only  3 yrs apart, but my 2nd brother and I are 5 yrs apart, my 4th brother and i are 11 yrs apart and my last brother and i are 13 yrs apart. Having actually i liked when my mom had my youngest 2 brothers i got to do more things wiht them and like now when my parents work a lot they have built in babysitter to help out with the kids and being older i'm another figure they can look up too

Answer 4

My son is 8 and my daughter is 2, so there's a 6 year age gap between them. I'm expecting my 3rd @ the end of Jan. So, there will be an almost 3 yr. age gap between my daughter and the new baby and a 9 yr. between the oldest and youngest. I think it will be good for the youngest 2 to be fairly close in age. My son hasn't done real well w/ the age gap between him and his sister. But I don't think it will be so bad w/ this one. He's a little older now and the age gap will put them into 2 totally different interests. I hoping everything works.

It can be done. Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

My brother is 10 years younger than I am, and I actually like it that way.  My Mom never had to deal with us fighting or anything, because I was so much older than he was growing up.  You also wont have to hire a babysitter much, because your other child will be old enough to babysit in a few years.  

There is nothing wrong with having a gap

Answer 6

Me and my brother are 7 years apart. We are pretty much strangers. I moved out when I was 18 so we really never got the opportunity to get to know each other as adults. We are like night and day and no not really have a close relationship. Not because we don't get along, but because there is such a gap. I had another brother (he passed away) and we were 13 years apart...same thing. Strangers. Try to have them close together if possible.  

Answer 7

we have one that will be 7 and a half when baby born and another on the way !! its a bit scary but exciting 2 !! good luck xxxx

Answer 8

me and my brother have an 8 yr gap.. and trust me we are the best of friends.

Answer 9

Growing up, I had a couple of close friends whose parents got pregnant when they were 10-12 years old. As far as I remember, my friends always loved having baby brothers. (Both friends were 1 of 2 girls, and the parents, I assume, were trying one last time for a boy - and got it).  

Answer 10

my first son is 13 and my youngest is 2 it is a big gap but it works just fine for us only thing i  think about is that now i'm starting all over again  

Answer 11

well my dad and his bother are very far apart in age... i think about 15 years, i never remember my dad saying anything bad about it, i know he was basically an only child for most of his life, by the time he was 15 it wasn't like he needed alot of attention from mommy/daddy.. not like a baby or young child does.

if you find yourself in a situation where you want to have more children i say go for it, perhaps you child will have a tough time with it initially but that is natural for any child, and im sure he'll learn to love his new lil sibling

Answer 12

I have a 10 year old and am 6 monts pregnant with my daughter. Im excited and I think my son will be a BIG help. I have a brother that is 13 years younger than  me and we are vERY close. I want the same for my son and daughter. Go for it!!!

Answer 13

I'm 9 years older than my brother but we have a better relationship than my sister who is 5 years younger than me.  We get along great and despite the age difference, have a lot in common.  When I was a teenager, I enjoyed taking him out for trips and showing him off to my friends.  We may not have the same bond as people who have siblings close in age but it's still pretty great.  And another bonus is if you have a child at 35, you'd have a babysitter you trust already :P

Answer 14

I am a mother of 4 and my oldest is 11 and my youngest is 2 wks.

I am 29.

My children love love their new baby sister and they all want to help all the time. I actually think that she brought us all closer becuase now they don't want to fight because they don't want to waker her up. It also feels good for the only child to now be the older brother or sister. It would be a blessing to add to a family that is full of love, don't worry about the age thing.

Answer 15

I asked a similar question not so long ago! Although I am hoping I won't have too long a gap between my first and second. But I do have a friend who's son is 17 and daughter 3 and it works fine. Positives is that the 17yr old is like an extra parent rather than another child taking attention.

Answer 16

do what you want...

i personally wouldn't because when the older one moves out the younger will feel alone, and i know a lot of the time the parents stop paying any attention to the oldest and they rebel....and that doesn't look pretty

Answer 17

There is just over 10 years between myself and my younger foster brother, and 20 years between myself and my eldest *Foster* siblings.

We are all pretty close & get along fine. I am closer to my younger brother, as he was at home and a baby when I was growing up at my Foster Parents house.

My Foster Parents children are 20 years older than me, and I have nieces and nephews who are my age, and younger. It's strange to some people, but they have always treated me with love and respect.

I love my family and growing up and having my own, I realise how lucky I am to be able to call them my brothers.

My Foster Parents were fantastic, and never left the elder kids  in charge of the younger ones, they were the parents. Which was fantastic. We are very much a close family, even if the eldest is 45 and the youngest just turned 13.

Answer 18

Well I have the opposite situation I have a 9 month old and I'm due with another in 5 months with number 2.  I think having kids close together is good for our family I'm 25 and want to raise the kids and then go back to work  (Teacher) I don't want to them to far apart and have to do the baby and diaper thing all over. I know think there is no right answer here it just depends on what will work best for your family.You were a teen when you had 8 year old now that your older and probably more prepared the situation is different if your not married that may also influence your decision depending on if your hubby or boyfriend wants have kids now or later on. Also how are things with your 8 year old how might having a baby around effect him/her? Maybe waiting would be better in some cases or maybe not it depends on your family set up or needs. My husband and I talk about having our 2 close together and then our last baby a few years later maybe 4-5 years after #2.

Answer 19

My First daughter is almost 22 and my youngest just turned 3. I have a 14 and a 8 yr old also. all girls. The positive is that they all got alot of attention when they were little . The negitive is that because of the age difference that don't really play togeather or have much in common.

Answer 20

My daughter is 4 and I still don't want to have another child yet. If I do then there will be a huge age gap.She is fine right now being my only. I think the age gap will give you a chance to focus on each child better and they won't have to compete for your attention.