Love Lines...poem...critique please!?

Question

Hey lover what does it mean to love,

Is it more then just a quick *****.

Cause times like these I doubt the truth,

Cause I've been here so many times now.

Your a good women so you tear me apart,

You know what to use to control my heart,

With a flick of a switch it all boils down

And I'm stuck quoting lines about love

'If you love something set it free"

It's never meant so god d**n much to me,

I'm drinking the ink from all of pens,

So I stop writing about how it hurts.

I'm a poet who loves to sing,

So I'll make all these words fit in,

But the guitar strings wont have a slice,

So I'm stuck here just strumming away.

A possible message is in this song,

But it's not the words that are making sense.

It's just the way that their sung,

Out of key and out of pitch...

I'm loathing about your words,

You would think after all that I heard,

I would give up on all the drugs,

But they are better then all these fake hugs.

So speak in words as I try to sing,

You see I'm writing melodies which make no sense,

And I'm traveling sick on this pool table,

So I'm swimming, I'm swimming away!

Answer 1

I really like how this fits alot of situations. and how many others can relate. The emotions are really creative and I feel it.

Please check out mine: Thank you so much.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 2

One Word is Too Often Profaned

by Percy Bysshe Shelley



One word is too often profaned

For me to profane it;

One feeling too falsely disdained

For thee to disdain it;

One hope is too like despair

For prudence to smother;

And pity from thee more dear

Than that from another.

I can give not what men call love;

But wilt thou accept not

The worship the heart lifts above

And the heavens reject not, -

The desire of the moth for the star,

Of the night for the morrow,

The devotion to something afar

From the sphere of our sorrow?



In the above poem of Shelley , the last eight lines are probably the best example of psychic poetry. The true love may ultimately have even the physical aspect without of course the s*x getting involved with it. s*x is just the crude method invented by Nature for her work of procreation.

In the modern times our lives have become far more complex, more globally united, paychologically and emotionally more involved, then any body would have guessed intheir wildest dreams as in the times of Shelley. Th world moving forwared to its doom or to an opening of a new horizon, we cannot as yet fathom.

The poet is right; the solution lies in finding the source the key to these magic and maystic casements of Freya the mother of Love.

Till she  takes hold of our life we will compose melodies which will have no harmony and genuine sense. Till then we shall be swimming away from the banks to nowhere !

Answer 3

The line that says "I'm loathing about your words"  Maybe try it without the about. I liked it, ^_^