Married and money issues?

Question

If one spouse makes 50.000 a year and the other spouse makes 35000 a year should they have to split the bills and house payment 50/50 or should it be fair that the spouse making more pay out more?? and what about food and other things?? My wife make 50,000 and we have sepaerate accounts and she has set the rules how much ii have to pay out. I said i can only pay how much i can afford. Is it fair that married couples , one pay more than the other if makes more ??

Answer 1

sounds like you have a control freak on your hands.

Go to marriage counseling and go to financial counseling, too.  You guys need to talk this out it will help you both understand and not just be emotional and about who's right or wrong.

Answer 2

How come you dont have a joint account ?

Answer 3

You guys are looking at this wrong.  Your HOUSEHOLD income is $85K. When you're married all the money should go into a common pot from which you pay all of your household bills, expenses, etc.  If there's anything left over for fun / discretionary spending, maybe you split that along income lines.  But even that is hokie... you're suppose to be a couple, not roommates keeping track of who paid for what!  Money is probably the biggest cause of divorces be careful.  I may be reading your question wrong but it sounds like your wife need to re-evaluate what it means to be married... Good Luck!

Answer 4

Are you a man or a mouse? Just because she makes more doesn't mean she should be in charge. I made more than my ex for many years. We had a joint account and paid the bills from it. If you are married and in love you don't set rules about who makes how much and who has to pay what. You are in this together.

Answer 5

Do you want for anything?  Do you get your basic necessities?  Are you able to pay your personal bills, like a car payment or insurance as well as the bills of the house?  Do you have money that if you wanted to go to the store and buy youself something you could?  If the answer to all of these is yes, I think you need to stop complaining.  If the answer to one of these is no, then you have an issue and you need to tell your wife the issue.  Don't let her run over you.

Answer 6

Well, it all depends on what you both accepted at the beginning, doesn't it?  If you agreed to the current arrangement, then yes, I think it would be fair for the person making more to pay more, because that is the way you set it up together and agreed upon.

However, I think a much more fair way of running things is for both partners to contribute to ONE account, share everything, share and share alike, regardless of what either one makes, and pay all the bills out of the common account for the benefit of both parties.  Now that to me is the democratic way of doing things.  Sometimes, in our country (the United States), some states have more income than others, yet all states contribute what they can to the same Federal Govt.  Those monies are then redistributed back to the States on the basis of their needs.  This is a fair and equal redistribution of the wealth from those who have more to give to those who have less to give so that all people in society may enjoy equal opportunity regardless of ability to contribute.  This is a true democratic approach to finance.

Now, the system you have ascribed to is the principle of selfishness...you keep what you get and she keeps what she gets, and to h**l with the common good (the both of you)...and so what do you have?  You have the selfish undemocratic end result...a financial argument where the one making more money feels CHEATED that they have to contribute more than the other does so that both can share common assets such as a home or car.  YOu both brought this situation on yourselves by being selfish and thinking only of your own welfare, when in fact, you should have been thinking of your COMMON welfare as a married couple.  So long as you think in terms of your own personal selfish benefit, neither of you will gain anything out of your financial strength together.  What I would do if I were you is suggest to your wife that you put all your money (both your incomes) into a mutually owned account, draw from the account what is needed to pay all the bills, what is left over, you can decide to put aside for your common good or to agree upon the principles in which way(s) it may be spent and by whom.

This is the arrangement my wife and I have...and yes, at times, sacrifices have to be made.  Sometimes, I have to pay more than she does, but SO WHAT?  We both mutually benefit.

The point is:  STOP THINKING SELFISHLY AND START THINKING ABOUT YOUR COMMON GOOD AS A COUPLE.  That is the answer to your problem.