Marrying a Turkish person?

Question

I was talking to my 'Turkish' friend the other day about marrying a Turkish person. I said ' I wonder if I will marry a Turkish person?' and ' What if I met someone in Turkey and stayed here and married them?'

And I thought she was going to say 'Aww, that would be nice or sweet' but INSTEAD she said 'After two weeks of marriage to a Turkish person, it would be over. After they found out that you could'nt cook Turkish food, or clean like a Turkish person or follow the traditions, the family would dump you. And you're different religions...'

I was shocked.. Was she making a joke, or is this sort of ture?

Answer 1

could be true try living with them first for say one year your soon know

Answer 2

Unfortunately, and I know from my own experience having married a Turkish man, what your friend says is very true in many cases. In Turkey with its very traditional culture and pride in their ethnic lineage, you aren't marrying just the man, you're marrying his family also and they have very rigid ideas about the choice of a suitable woman for their son. A "suitable" woman is a virgin, younger than the man, muslim and above all else, she is Turkish. Family is central in turkish culture and their wishes are next to god and so when the family threatens to disown their son for not marrying a suitable woman, the son must obey in the end. Sometimes they will do a temporary marriage to a non-Turk. I was unknowingly a temporary marriage to get my money in order for my husband to be eligible to marry a turkish woman. My husband is now married in a secret illegal religious marriage while still married to me legally. Be careful - the family may pretend to accept you if they want to scam you for your money/green card.  

Answer 3

Cu$ ermenicik  "...wouldn't you dump him if he's not successful in the bed" what else do you want to ask her?

Asker, It all depends on whether he is really a traditional family guy or a modern guy who has seen his dad help his mum with stuff and has been encouraged to do things for himself. Same as anywhere else. If you want to know a guy's expectations all you have to do is observe his family and see how his mother behaves. Don't pay attention to what he says, watch his movements... Look at the type of attire he wears, are his clothes always ironed impeccably? Is he sloppy with his gestures or absent minded like forgetting his jacket or shopping bags in the car? Does he take care with details you have told him? This last question will tell you if he is genuinely stimulated by you or if he is very blase about you. Someone who is relatively independant with their responsibilities such as cleaning and cooking will pay attention to their clothes and food so they would be able to tell you for example how he likes to cook his breakfast on a Sunday morning, he may prefer sports attire mostly because its easier to maintain - saves time, if his clothes are always ironed ask him which brand starch he uses, how he irons the arms of his shirts, or ask him does he get someone to iron them and watch his reaction, you can tell straight away if he gets one of his sisters or mother to do it for him. You can only remain married successfully by not radically changing each others previous lifestyles but rather complimenting it.

Hope it was helpful    

Answer 4

It really depends on the person.

Answer 5

It really depends on the family and how much they care about whether you can cook and whether they care about your religon etc...

I have noticed that my mom is extremely picky when picking a bride,

But my grandma says she didn't even know how to cook spaghetti when she was married and I doubt she knew how to clean too, she says she was raised with her siblings doing just about everything. (but she had a courier, which was very rare to find in her days)

I don't think in this age a family would *dump* you, perhaps you would get an unsatisfied mother in law but that's a law of nature

Answer 6

That's not true, actually it depends on the person that you  married.  

Answer 7

It won't happen if the person really loves you. It all depends on the person your marry

Answer 8

If you got married in the same sort of way that you were hypothesising, ie without really knowing that person, just plucking a husband out of your imagination, it would probably turn out to be true.

If you genuinely fall in love with someone who just happens to be Turkish you have a chance of success. It depends how much you are both able to compromise between two very different cultures. Many marriages fail for these sort of reasons.

A bride of a Turkish man is always competing with his mother so cooking etc is important.

Answer 9

i never met a turkish person like that.. fyi there are turks who are catholic,muslim and orthodox, I never met a jew turl but i am sure there most be some..so u can find one ur religon.

Answer 10

LOL, your friend is sort of true, since my mom cleans/cooks turkish food. Then my dad says, we're men, and the wife is suppose to do the house cleaning and food and shopping, and we all laughed. It was a joke. But it's possible your b/f can be like that. But it's not true, it's like saying "Oh he's irish, they're suppose to drink a lot". idk, but everyone is different. & if you guys LOVE, each other, that won't happen. Since now a days culture changes, in the last 30 yrs. So noone really follows rules/ cultures..

my parents are both turkish..

Answer 11

I am Turkish and my wife is not. You are referring to a Turkish friend here. How come she knows what Turkish men would do? Has she had an experience like that before?

One thing you can make sure of is this; any men on earth will fall back to who he used to be or how he grew up to be. Men may all be nice and sweet to you in flirting and dating but once it gets down to the nitty and gritty you will see that the real personality is coming through. Try to analyse your prospective husband before you marry or move in with him. This thing about marriage by the way doesn't apply to men only, it goes for women too. Would you not dump him if you figured out that this guy was actually a macho and he was a lazy sod. He would not go working and wanted to live off your money? Would you not dump him if he wasn`t too succesfull in the bed?

Answer 12

I have lived and worked in Adana Turkey love it, I marred a Turkish man we were very happy he passed away 4 year (I came back to the UK ) I got on well with his mother you can learn to cook turkish food I did. not all Turkish men are out for what they can get. All over the world you will find good and bad people not just in Turkey.

What I am saying is you could marry an English man or an American and still not be liked by his mother and taken for what they can get.